Archive for laboratory

Big Apple Automaton

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Colossus of New York

The semi cult sci-fi classic The Colossus of New York (1958) borrows liberally from Frankenstein (1931) and the real-life horror story of the theft of Einstein’s brain in 1955.

Dr. Frankenstein (Victor, to those who tailgated with him) sewed together parts of corpses, goosed it alive by the stuff that comes out of lamp sockets, and brought the now-living product to market.

Al / Franken

Albert (or “Al”) Einstein, the Nobel prize-winning physicist who gave me/you/the world the theory of relativity E = mc2 (I use that all the time – so useful), had some nut bag pathologist (Thomas Harvey) steal his brain in hopes of scientifically chopping it up to discover any anomalies that could explain the smartest guy in the world’s scientific acumen. Harvey kept Al’s brain in a cider box stashed under a beer cooler. (There’s probably a joke in there somewhere.)

The Colossus of New York

Watch how I flawlessly tie this together with the movie. On the eve of a big party to accept the International Peace Prize (the menu featured those fancy cocktail wieners on platters), 34 year-old Jeremy Spensser gets flattened by a truck. Boom, boom – out go the lights. He left behind a young son and a rather fetching wife.

Jeremy’s Dad and brother – both scientists – feel Jeremy’s lying down on the job and decide to extract his brain and transplant it into probably one of the best dressed robots ever created in a downstairs lab. Told’ja I could tie it all together.

The Colossus of New York

Widow Spensser and her son move into her father and brother-in-law’s giant mansion, unaware her husband’s thinker is powering a 9-foot robot in the basement. Not only can Jeremy-Bot speak (with cool sparking electrical noises), he has ESP, can hypnotize you with the flashing bulbs he calls eyeballs, and can deep fry you with electric beams, which make you pretty much dead and looking for a spare robot to live in.

Things get messy when the robot discovers his brother has had swollen intentions on his former wife, even trying to get her to go to Hawaii with him. She should’ve gone; that’s a pretty impressive/all-inclusive first date.

The Colossus of New York

The p.o.’d robot swims (!) to an condemned part of the Manhattan shipping waterfront, confronts his bro, and zap-zaps him into deadness. There goes another unfulfilled vacation bathing suit.

The Colossus of New York

Wanting to kill the world, Colossus (title only) calls for the scientific community to meet at the U.N. and when they get there, proceeds to microwave every non-robot in sight. Almost all of the people just stand there, so it’s they’re fault for not trying to run away with their pants down while screaming.

The Colossus of New York

Bullets do nothing because hey – ROBOT! Fortunately, Spensser’s son – who is against all this zapping – gets through to robo-dad. In a moment of clarity, he has his kid pull the kill-switch lever located on the side of his former rib cage. Then everybody just walks away like that sort of thing happens in New York all the time. Maybe it does. How the heck should I know? I believe everything I see on the TV.

Pretty lame ending. Then again, so it was for Frankenstein’s monster and the Einster.

One Billion Frankensteins

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast

Like the monster itself, Frankenstein branded movies just won’t die. Hence, Frankenstein: Day of the Beast, which “coincidentally” arrives weeks within Victor Frankenstein (2015), the big-budget re-imagine of the seriously overplayed story of science’s first zombie. Here’s how the one billionth version of Frankenstein goes…

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast

“In a foggy winter morning, a raft brings a priest to an isolated island. He is getting paid to perform a wedding ritual under very mysterious conditions. The groom is Victor Frankenstein, and the young and beautiful bride is his cousin Elizabeth. Seven armed and dangerous mercenary soldiers have been hired to protect her against something huge that hides in the woods, awaiting for that wedding night to be consummated. Victor is the only one who knows the truth about their enemy. His secret will be paid with the life of his private army, whose men will die one by one, as the creature gets closer to his target: the bride.”

He’s marrying his cousin? Now there’s a way to make more deformities in the lab.

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast

IMDB.com shows Frankenstein: Day of the Beast as having a November 2011 release. Like Victor’s famous monster, the movie must’ve arrived D.O.A. as I don’t recall hearing anything about it since. (Apparently, it was only released in Germany and Japan. I can see Germany, but Japan? They already have enough knock-offs.)

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast

But hey, thanks to the science of licensing and distribution, you can now see Frankenstein: Day of the Beast on Blu-ray™ in the States and Canada via a sweet hook-up with SGL Entertainment.

Frankenstein: Day of the Beast

To be fair, even though the mere thought of YET ANOTHER interpretation of the 1818 Mary Shelley novel (Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus) gives me science gas, the trailer for FDotB looks to have high production values/makeup/effects. That’s puts them ahead of at least a half-billion versions.

Sky Sharks

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sky Sharks

Fins up, Sharknado – you’ve just been served. Sky Sharks, featuring science enhanced Great White sharks flown by Nazi zombies, are owning you just as soon as they get enough crowd-funding to finish this obvious masterpiece in the making.

Sky Sharks

Just the trailer alone has more splattery gore than most horror movies these days. And hey, who doesn’t like airborne sharks? The Discovery Channel™ even does entire episodes dedicated to the bi-element predator.

Sky Sharks

The plot is as delicious as shark fin soup: “Deep in the ice of the Antarctic a team of geologists uncover a still-intact Nazi laboratory where dark experiments had occurred.”

Sky Sharks

“Unwittingly, the geologists unleash upon the world a top-secret experiment the Germans had been working on – modified sharks that are able to fly, whose riders are genetically mutated, undead super-humans. The only thing that can stop them and possibly save the world is a military task force called “Dead Flesh Four” – assembled from reanimated U.S. soldiers who fell in Vietnam.”

Sky Sharks

I don’t know whether to cry or weep with happiness. Sky Sharks (2016 pending) has GOT to be made. Click HERE to make my dreams come true.

Medium Rare Face

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Darkman

Peyton Westlake is a scientist who has been working on developing synthetic skin. Hmm, not seeing an obvious market for such a product other than adding a new taste texture to Hostess Cupcakes™.

Darkman

Peyton’s bummed because the skin can only last 99 minutes when exposed to light, melting away into a messy goo as it disintegrates. Stays put in the darkness, though, so there’s that.

The doc’s girlfriend is an attorney who has enough evidence to put a local crime boss into the crossbar hotel for life. Guess it wasn’t very smart of her to drop by Peyton’s waterfront warehouse lab with that evidence. So it’s kind a hard to blame Durant, the crime boss, for blowing the place up, unfortunately with Peyton in it.

Darkman

His flesh seared off and his body flash-cured, the well-done doc is not done yet. He makes it back to shore without being eaten by sharks, res-sets up his lab, and goes about perfecting his synthetic skin, because now he has a customer for it.

Darkman

Seeking revenge, Peyton is able to make his skin look like yours or your mom’s, which means he can imitate the very criminals he hates with what’s left of his stir-fried sanity. This causes much confusion and angst among the criminals, who can’t figure out what the epidermis cookin’ hell is goin’ on around here.

Darkman

Darkman (1990) plays like a comic book come to life with lots of exaggerated action and facial expressions. Those WITH faces, anyway. And Peyton is crazy cool, what with his bandaged face, dark hat and trench coat, and his inability to feel physical pain (ask the doctor who experimented on him after the “accident”). That he goes freakin’ nuts means someone’s gonna have to FACE up to their punishment. Heh.