Archive for Korea

Coffin Movies, Human Supper Club, Death Boat

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Coffin Movies

Not sure what I think about this: “The Goteborg Film Festival in Sweden, beginning on January 27, 2019, will be offering up 33 “sarcophagus screenings” of Aniara, a Swedish-language apocalyptic sci-fi film.” Yeesh, what’s next — sneak previews in a gas chamber?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, eight volunteers at a time will be shut into specially made caskets outfitted with screens, speakers and air vents. Inside the coffin will be a “panic” button for anyone who gets too freaked out. 

Aniara

I’d break my finger pushing that button. Points for creativity, though. As for Aniara (2018), here’s this about that: “A spaceship carrying settlers to Mars is knocked off course, causing the consumption-obsessed passengers to consider their place in the universe.” I can feel their pain — my life would be nothing if it weren’t for drunk bidding on eBay™.

Before you go hopping into any movie sarcophagus, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not have you reaching for the panic button. And remember, it’s not the coffin they take you off in, it’s the coffin that takes you often…

Folklore

FOLKLORE (February 1, 2019/ HBO NOW, HBO GO, HBO On Demand)
Folklore is HBO’s newest foray into the horror anthology genre. The series, which contains six hour-long episodes, will take place in six Asian countries including Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand. Each of the six episodes is based on that respective country’s folklore and mythology, which includes various supernatural beings and strange occult practices. Each episode will be helmed by a different director, with each episode filmed in the local language of that particular country.”

This one was already aired on HBO Asia on October 7, 2018. (I didn’t know Asia changed its name.) As cool as the anthology series sounds, doesn’t do me much good if each episode is filmed in its native language. Geez, I can barely speak whatever language I’m currently burping out now.

Beneath The Leaves

BENEATH THE LEAVES (February 8, 2019/limited theater/VOD)
“Among countless others, four small-town boys are kidnapped by James Whitley, a deranged, warm-eyed psychopath. His grotesque pursuit to reunite orphaned children with their deceased birth parents is gridlocked when the boys escape and he is arrested. Twenty years later, Whitley flees during a prison fire and decides to see his mission through. Detective Larson, one of Whitley’s prior victims — and now a cop — is removed from the case due to impartiality leaving his partner and lover, Detective Shotwell to solve the case. Fueled by rage and a chance of redemption, Detective Larson chases the steadfast psychopath on his own, only to fall back into the same trap he once escaped as a child.”

Fueled by rage. Kinda my mantra. Hope career criminal James Whitely doesn’t try to kidnap me — I’ve got a full tank.

The Cannibal Club

THE CANNIBAL CLUB (March 1, 2019/limited theater/ March 5, 2019/VOD)
Otavio and Gilda are a very wealthy couple of the Brazilian elite who have the habit of eating their employees. Otavio owns a private security company and is a notable member of The Cannibal Club. When Gilda accidentally discovers a secret from Borges, a powerful congressman and the club’s leader, her and her husband’s lives are in grave danger.”

Eating your employees — doesn’t sound too tasty, but it does cut down on having to hand out raises and buying groceries.

Harpoon

HARPOON (2019)
“With his perfect family and perfect upbringing, Richard appears to have it all. So when he thinks that his long-term girlfriend, Sasha and best-friend, Jonah, are having an affair, it sends him into a fit of rage that leaves Jonah a bloody mess. Once Jonah and Sasha convince Richard the allegations are false, Richard tries to buy back their trust by taking them out for a day-trip on his family’s yacht. Tension boils over once out to sea, and, to make matters worse, the yacht’s engine fails. Stranded without food and supplies, the trio must set aside their differences in order to survive.”

Can’t remember the title, but there was a Japanese horror movie with the same plot. It didn’t end well for them, either. I think they were all eaten by a giant octopus with nine arms. I could be slightly wrong about that.

Cleaning Unclean Spirits

Posted in Evil, Misc. Horror, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Chronicles of an Exorcism

In a rat hole of a house in the middle of a cornfield, two amateur filmmakers document several priests and a pastor trying to suck the devil out of a nicely tanned and blonde supermodel with hellishly perfect teeth, who’d look more at home in a shampoo commercial than a vomit-splattered bed.

Chronicles of an Exorcism

She floats. She swears. She wears contacts to make her look evil. She gets loose in the corn. If I were possessed, those are exactly the things I’d do, mostly because it looks like fun and not because I’m possessed or anything. Ahem.

Chronicles of an ExorcismTurns out the swimsuit model is possessed by five demons, all of whom the priests had encounters with in other countries (Korea, Eastern Europe, South America, 7-Eleven™). By possessing the girl, these unclean spirits are basically doing the evil version of instant-messaging.

Chronicles of an Exorcism

One of the priests has a secret, which, as you know, is like juicy gossip to a demon. All hand-held camera stuff shot on a budget of what wouldn’t cover one sun tanning session. I don’t know how the priests kept from laughing during the overly long and loudly shouted exorcism. Somebody should’ve told me Chronicles of an Exorcism (2008) was a comedy.

Mutual Mutilation

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , on January 31, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Black House

Here’s a fun and educational thing to do: watch an insurance adjuster process fraudulent claims! (OK, I’m being a smidge douche-y here, but work with me.) Jeon Jun-oh is an insurance investigator who checks out people who kill their own family members for cash. That’s probably not a cool thing to do.

Black House

Once such guy is filing a claim on behalf of his son’s suicide. The police won’t help Jeon prove it was a murder for some silly reason. And the movie drags on and on. Then something horribly fun happens. Arms are put under industrial paper cutters. Eyes and mouths are stitched up without anesthetic. Stabbings occur to the stomach area. Keys get plunged into eyeballs. Black House (aka, Geomeun jip/2007) is way dull until the last ten minutes, then all holy WTF breaks loose.

Black House

The weird guy whom Jeon thought was trying to collect the insurance money was actually acting weird for a reason: someone cut off his arms! No more pouring your own cereal. Jeon’s girlfriend gets abducted because he’s too close to THE TRUTH. A quick search leads him to a veritable human slaughter house that’d give the guy in Saw (2004) a warm fuzzy feeling in his tummy.

Black House

The plot is sluggish (made even more tedious with the Korean sub-titles) and stretching things. (People killing people for insurance money? Come on — that stuff doesn’t happen in real life.) But the ending sequence is deliciously gruesome with body parts laying around like festive decorations and such. And I mean that in a delightful way.

Jaws In Your Bathtub

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jaws

“You’re going to need a bigger toy box…”

A re-casting of the famous line in Jaws (1975) in which Roy Scheider’s character Chief Martin Brody is chumming the sea with fish guts and Jaws pops out and causes Brody to pollute his pants.

Coming soon is a new Jaws ReAction toy figures by Funko™. Their website says it’ll be released in July doesn’t line up with Amazon.com’s available date of September 30. No worries – Korea will probably bootleg this thing and have it for sale by the end of today.

A Gremlins (1984) set is being released at the same time as well. But I never liked those little trouble-making toilet brushes, so put me in the “not even close to being interested” column. Nope, I want me some Jaws.

Gremlins

The coolest part is the air tank accessory, which fits as nicely in Jaws’ mouth as action figure/shark hunter Quint. (For realism they should’ve added a beer can accessory to go along with Quint’s harpoon.) Then you have marine biologist and all-around wise-guy Matt Hooper. Oddly, he looks built to the scale of Quint and Brody. In the movie Hooper is a little dude, a veritable Scooby snack for Jaws.

Each uneaten figure is sold separately for $19.99 and Jaws for $24.99 (on Amazon), or buy ’em altogether for $49.88 + $4.99 shipping. Seems reasonable given how much fun time you’ll get in the tub with these guys. OK, that didn’t come out right. Really wish they would’ve made Quint’s boat, Orca. Now I’m gonna have to use a cereal bowl carrying his next three meals for Jaws to attack/kill/eat.

Kill Club

Posted in Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Nightmare

A group of Korean college friends form a club and call themselves A Few Good Men, even though they have several really hot chicks as members. They don’t say what this club actually does, but I’m assuming some of it is keeping a dark secret they all were involved in years ago.

Nightmare

One of the new recruits, the shy-but-sexy Eun-ju, commits suicide by jumping off a building and landing on her face. Now, years later, all the club members start dying by eyes being plucked out, glass in the face… You know, the usual die-kill-bleed stuff.

Nightmare

At a running time of 97 minutes, Nightmare (aka, Gawi/2000) is 67 minutes too long. (Hey, wasn’t Too Long the name of one of the extras? Okay, that was uncalled for, even it is is true.) The horror stuff is entry-level and the foot-on-the-brake pacing will make you want to pluck your own eyes out. Or jump off a building. Or put glass in your face. Or join a club, which kills its new members. Oh, did I just say that out loud? My bad.

The Butcher: Pleased To Meat You

Posted in Asian Horror, Slashers with tags , , , , , , on July 27, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Butcher

In The Butcher (2007), a horror movie dubbed “too shocking to be released in its own country of Korea,” kidnapped victims are tied up in a dirty warehouse awaiting an explicitly graphic, violent death while a snuff film producer maps out his camera angles. Just another day at the office.

The Butcher

Each victim has a video camera strapped to his/her head so that footage from the dismemberments can be used in the final cut. (Hey, that worked as a pun!) Do the victims get film credits? No. I feel this is entirely unfair.

The Butcher

A killer wearing a real pig’s head over the top of his real head has a chainsaw, hammer and a massively blood-stained apron. I don’t care how many times you wash that thing, you’re not gonna be able to get it 100% clean.

The Butcher

A man and his wife are dragged in for their scene, a hammer to the head to settle them down. Pig Head proceeds to have a less-than-romantic scene with the back of the male victim’s swimsuit area. Love is in the air.

The Butcher

Begging for his wife’s life, the film director tells him if he can come up with fresh ideas for killing his spouse, he can go free. It takes all of two seconds for the guy to sell out his spouse with ridiculously nasty killing suggestions. The director likes where his head is at and frees him, leaving the wife screaming in accompaniment to the musical chainsaw.

The Butcher

Bloodied, his sitting area a little tender for some reason, and with the camera still attached to his head, he stumbles out into the bright sunshine. It’s nice that such a pointless and brutally graphic film can end on such a happy note.

Heavy Metal Monster

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Pulgasari

Pulgasari is a mythical giant monster ox thing that helps those in need of justice. (It’d be cool if he could be my legal counsel. I’m getting really tired of being told to just “throw myself on the mercy of the court.”)

Pulgasari A small farming Korean village in an old time-y century has been jacked for all their metal tools and dishes because a nearby king needs the iron to make plenty ’o weapons for his super big army. The farmers fight back and get pushed around by the warlord. Pulgasari to the rescue.

Pulgasari

Fashioned from a wad of mystical rice and brought to life by the blood of a hot farmer’s daughter who doesn’t know the meaning of “one hung low,” the tiny beast gorges on metal and grows at a buffet-busting rate; When he reaches the height of 250 feet, it’s hammer time.

Pulgasari

The best part is Pulgasari is made of metal and can’t be killed by conventional means (fire, avalanches, cruel taunts). Putting the iron in irony, the monster makes rice cakes out of the army, but has to keep eating metal in order to survive. The villagers are right back in the soup.

Pulgasari

All things considered, the ending of the Korean-made Pulgasari (1985) has a nice twist that’ll bring tears to your eyes. Dry your leakings – Pulgasari would not want you to be sad for him.