Archive for Kickstarter™

A Slew of Superheroes, Devil Sex, Heavy Metal Babysitters

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Elseworlds

The ratings winning CW Network is heavily pushing Elseworlds, a crossover event that takes place on December 9, 2018 on The Flash, continuing on December 10, 2018 on Arrow (as in Green Arrow), and concluding on December 11, 2018 on Supergirl. I know what I’ll be doing for three days in December.

The Flash

This one’s gonna be epic as it finally introduces Lois Lane (Superman’s “friends with benefits”), Batgirl (insert excited slobbering here), and the returning John Wesley Shipp, who played Jay Garrick in The Flash as a multiverse speedster. He seems nice.

Elseworlds

Here’s the upsell: The Flash and Arrow switch pants. Then they change their clothes again — as does Superman — to all black. (I’ve been doing that for years.) And just when you think it could be any more mind-bending, John Wesley Shipp appears as The Flash in his old costume from when he played the Flash back in the 1990 TV series and will be called Barry Allen. My mind is a fried egg right now.

Elseworlds

In the new Flash series, Shipp played Henry Allen, Barry’s dad, and was killed by Flash nemesis, Zoom. (Weird to have a metahuman named after a breakfast cereal.) Now he’s back to play the Flash like he did before his hair turned grey.

Elseworlds

There’s lots more happening in Elseworlds, so don’t think of any of this as spoilers, but rather Fritos™ and bean dip before the big dinner. But before you go to the store to stock up on Fritos™ and bean dip, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not give you grey hair…

Luciferina

LUCIFERINA (November 20, 2018/DVD | December 4, 2018 / Digital HD)
Natalia is a 19-year-old who reluctantly returns home to say goodbye to her dying father. But when she meets up with her sister and her friends, she decides instead to travel the jungle in search of a mystical plant. Instead of pleasure, they find a world of Black Masses, strange pregnancies, bloody deaths and perhaps, a sexually violent clash with the Devil himself.”

A sexually violent clash with the Devil. That’s a lot to unpack. Think this one came out last March, 2108 in some country that is foreign to me. But hey, Devil sex, magic plants, black masses — no doubt you could find those things in any civilized country/bowling alley.

Ghost in the Graveyard

GHOST IN THE GRAVEYARD (2018/2019)
A small town comes under the thumb of Martha, a vengeful ghost who returns to haunt the children who witnessed her death during a game of Ghost in the Graveyard in their youth. Long blamed for the accident, Sally Sullivan must figure out why Martha has returned and how to get her to rest in peace for good. As the mystery of her return unravels, deep secrets are revealed that will have consequences for everyone involved.”

Back from the dead, revenge, murder, blah, blah, bah. This premise is so overdone, it’s like dry meatloaf — and there’s not enough ketchup in the world to make it taste any better. For a slightly better version, try Darkness Falls (2003). That one has a teen in it.

Shed of the Dead

SHED OF THE DEAD (2019)
Trevor is between jobs. He spends his days avoiding his nagging wife by hiding out in his allotment shed and painting figurines for his war-games with his agoraphobic friend, Graham, and dreaming of his heroic alter-ego, the battle mage Casimir the Destroyer. When Mr. Parsons, one of the other allotment tenants, petitions to have Trevor removed from his disgrace of a plot (he’s not there to grow stuff!) an argument ensues that leaves Trevor with a corpse to hide. Unfortunately, this untimely accident coincides with the zombie apocalypse and Mr Parsons’ return is just the beginnings of Trevor’s problems. More pressing is whether or not he should try and save his wife and her beautiful best friend, who both he and Graham have a thing for.

Yeow, what a hot mess of a plot. Only thing missing is dry meatloaf.

Babysitter Massacre: Heavy Metal

BABYSITTER MASSACRE: HEAVY METAL (in production)
Billy Dragg breaks things off with his girlfriend and subsequently goes on a murder spree. But is he in control, or is the ghost of Viper, a dead heavy metal superstar, influencing Billy’s actions?”

Push in your stool — this will take a minute. The guy who brought us 2013’s Babysitter Massacre is not done massacring temp rental guardians. Babysitter Massacre II: Slay Bells takes place around Christmas, a few weeks after the first movie. Then follows Babysitter Massacre III: Overnight, starring a different slasher. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing, hence Babysitter Massacre: Heavy Metal. These were all funded by Kickstarter™, so don’t expect a lot of different knives or clothes. Not sure what a ghost of a heavy metal superstar has to do with changing diapers, but hey, might as well come at it with that fabled open mind people keep telling me to use.

Melting Faces and Exploding Limbs

Posted in Foreign Horror, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 2, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Lab Rats

After being successfully Kickstarter’d, Lab Rats (2015), the British eco-horror film short’s trailer, is popping up like, um, rats all over the Internet. As promised via their crowd-funding pitch, Lab Rats is filled with “melting faces and exploding limbs.”

A relief to see melting faces that aren’t associated with binge drinking.

Lab Rats

Anyway, here’s what the lab cooked up: “Kat and her eco-warrior friends embark on a mission to expose the international bio-chemistry company, Ring-Amnion, as liars after a tip-off that they ran an animal testing lab – despite their public profile claiming otherwise.”

“The gang – and Kat’s 20,000 blog followers – are eager to find out what Ring-Amnion have been hiding as they break into an old building, but they aren’t prepared for what they find inside…”

Lab Rats

Crossing fingers here – I hope they find melted faces inside. Wanna see a teaser for yourself? Click HERE.

Lab Rats

I know what you’re thinking – there were Lab Rats before this, 2012 to be exact. Lab Rats – currently on its fourth season – is a Disney™ produced “sci-fi” show featuring a group of family TV-sanitized teens who have bionic super powers. Think Fantastic Four on high doses of Clearasil™.

Sister Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ayla

Gotta hand it to some of these indie filmmakers who seek crowdfunding to get their movies made, especially when they come to market with amazing up front sales art. It’s like going to a job interview wearing your finest church clothes. (Note to HR at 7-Eleven™ – the butter stain on my church tee-shirt has been there for a while now. But the rest of my ensemble should not cast doubts on my hireability.)

Anyway, such is the example of the initial ad materials for Ayla, an in-production horror drama. Here is what’s behind the behind on the movie art: “A man haunted by the mysterious death of his young sister brings her back to life 30 years later as an adult woman, with dire consequences. Her name is Ayla, but they used to call her “A.”

And they used to call me “A-hole.” Heh.

Regardless, this one has all the appeal of a butter-stained shirt. And I mean that as a good thing. FYI: Their Kickstarter™ page begins June 9, 2015 and is filming in the Seattle area, where I wander. Note to the filmmakers: I’m available to hang out and party with the cast and crew.)

Sky Sharks

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sky Sharks

Fins up, Sharknado – you’ve just been served. Sky Sharks, featuring science enhanced Great White sharks flown by Nazi zombies, are owning you just as soon as they get enough crowd-funding to finish this obvious masterpiece in the making.

Sky Sharks

Just the trailer alone has more splattery gore than most horror movies these days. And hey, who doesn’t like airborne sharks? The Discovery Channel™ even does entire episodes dedicated to the bi-element predator.

Sky Sharks

The plot is as delicious as shark fin soup: “Deep in the ice of the Antarctic a team of geologists uncover a still-intact Nazi laboratory where dark experiments had occurred.”

Sky Sharks

“Unwittingly, the geologists unleash upon the world a top-secret experiment the Germans had been working on – modified sharks that are able to fly, whose riders are genetically mutated, undead super-humans. The only thing that can stop them and possibly save the world is a military task force called “Dead Flesh Four” – assembled from reanimated U.S. soldiers who fell in Vietnam.”

Sky Sharks

I don’t know whether to cry or weep with happiness. Sky Sharks (2016 pending) has GOT to be made. Click HERE to make my dreams come true.

The Horror of Grandparents v.2

Posted in Classic Horror, Misc. Horror, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

At Granny's House

No sooner is The Visit (2015), a grandparent horror movie is announced, now comes At Granny’s House (release pending), another genre flick featuring a grandma, cookies possibly, and death.

The reason I say pending is At Granny’s House is currently in Kickstarter land, publicly begging its way towards a release.

Here’s the plot in case you have some fun coupons burning a hole in your pocket bank: “A typical Midwest house. A sweet little old lady. When a caretaker moves in to help out, Granny’s house becomes a macabre place of death – and love.”

At Granny's House

Not too strong of a pitch. In fact, it sounds downright boring. I’m hoping there’s more to it than that and the death part outweighs the love part.

Anyway, click HERE to see what else happens At Granny’s House.

Vampires, Demons, Ghosts, Ice Cream

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Club Dead

If you’re like me, you need a constant fix of horror movies just to be able to function in a civilized society. And while I’ve seen thousands of horror/sci-fi flicks, 90% of which are porcelain fillers, there’s always the giddy anticipation there’ll be a golden nugget within a steaming brown pile of you know what. (If you have to ask…)

Here’s four impending horror movies that may or may not have you jiggling the handle…

Club Dead
Release date: Dunno. But them who really does?
Plot: A group of friends are obsessed with Hollywood’s hottest night spot, Club Dead. The hot music, ravishing people and open bar lead the gang to believe this will be the best night of their lives. But it doesn’t take long until they discover that Club Dead is run by vampires – and those that get in come out “undead.”

VampsInitial thought: Seems weak and a dumb excuse to play brain dead electronic music, which is an oxymoron, by the way. Reminds me of 1986’s Vamp, in which two frat dudes go to a strip club to hire a dancer for a party. The strippers are vampires. Didn’t see that coming.  (There was a 2012 vampire comedy called Vamps. The poster for that looks a lot like the poster for Club Dead. Just sayin’.)

The Atticus Institute

The Atticus Institute
Release date: Should’ve been out by now. I have no idea where it stands as Hollywood never returns my calls. Hollywood can be such a butt.
Plot: In the fall of 1976, a small psychology lab in Pennsylvania became the unwitting home to the only government-confirmed case of possession. The U.S. military assumed control of the lab under orders of national security and implemented measures aimed at weaponizing the entity. The details of the inexplicable events that occurred are being made public after remaining classified for nearly forty years.
Initial thought: Sound promising on a “man, I can’t wait for another non-alcoholic beer” level. Reminds me of Stormhouse (2012), wherein the government manages to capture a supernatural entity and stores it in an underground base. It doesn’t have a freshness-expired date. The movie does, though.

Ice Cream Man 2: Sundae Bloody Sundae

Ice Cream Man 2: Sundae Bloody Sundae
Release date: As soon as they raise enough money on Kickstarter™ to fund its completion.
Plot: It’s been twenty years since Ice Cream Man (1995) – a spectacle of gore, blood, and mayhem – exploded onto the big screen, boasting some of the most creative uses of severed heads ever seen on screen. This time around it’s a tale of revenge, chock-full of murderous intent, laced with dripping entrails, and served up ice cold. The Rocketeers – Johnny, Heather, Tuna, and Small Paul – are all grown up now, and Ice Cream Man wants them to suffer. Really suffer. Torture and violence are on the menu, and it’s going to be sweet.
Initial thought: Ice Cream Man was two scoops of crap, but had its moments. Never really bought into Clint Howard as Gregory, the maniacal killer, because they didn’t do anything to make him look that frightening. In fact, they just let him use his own face and haircut. It’s like they didn’t even try, man.

The Woman in Black: Angel of Death

Woman In Black: Angel of Death
Release date: January 30, 2015
Plot: As bombs rain down on London during the Blitz of World War II, a group of school children are evacuated with Eve, their schoolteacher, to the safety of the English countryside. Taken to an old and empty estate, cut-off by a causeway from the mainland, they are left at Eel Marsh House. One by one the children begin acting strangely and Eve, with the help of local military commander Harry, discovers that the group has awoken a dark force even more terrifying and evil than the city’s air raids. Eve must now confront her own demons to save the children and survive the Woman in Black.
Initial thought: The period piece haunter The Woman in Black (2012) was a nice surprise (see “golden nugget”) with some pretty cool jump moments and a wicked looking ghost. Looking forward to scare crapping my pants again. OK, that didn’t come out right. I’m just gonna turn around and quietly walk away now.