Archive for Jell-O

Justice For A Ghost

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in


What starts out as a series of unusual murders, in which the male victims were all close friends who probably touched each others’ butts, ends up as a complicated paranormal-driven mystery even Inspector Gadget wouldn’t have been able to solve. That, and the way they died—frightened enough to suffer a heart attack—is just too much a coincidence to ignore.


Here’s where South Korean’s Arang (2006) goes from a complex murder case with ghost sprinklings, to a full blown brain snap with five endings.

ArangThrough flashbacks we learn the ghost chick female detective So-young’s been unpleasantly dreaming about, was raped and murdered by all the guys who are now turning up dead in the face. One clue leads So-young to a salt storage shed on the beach. Besides making popcorn and Jell-O™ taste yummy, salt is also a preservative. You may think I just gave away a plot spoiler, but you’re wrong-ish.


Every time So-young uncovers another part of the mystery, there’s another one underneath it. Meanwhile the ghost is ticked — it took 10 years to get someone to finally take her case. Arang is a bit tough to follow, but if you hang out you’ll be rewarded with a sick ass ending, which as you know, is why we all watch these things. I don’t know what Arang translates to, but I’m guessing it means “rent me, today if possible!

Neighborhood Gorillas, Lady Krampus, Rappin’ Snakes

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

King Kong

Ammon Smith of Salt Lake City, Utah knows how to throw down for Halloween. This year he built — using wooden boxes, chicken wire, trash bags, black fabric and pool noodles (I don’t know what those are, but they sound cool) and paint — to create a massive King Kong Halloween display in his front yard. No word on whether or not he’s handing out screaming citizens instead of candy.

King Kong

With “Kong” clutching a Barbie doll and battling bi-planes, clearly, we all want Ammon, a 33 year-old woodworker, to live in our neighborhood. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, it took Ammon 80 to 100 hours to complete the ultimate Halloween yard decoration. That’s about how many hours a week I lay around watching monster movies. Just think of what I could create for my yard on Halloween if I got off my unmotivated booty instead of turning my couch into a Jell-O™ mold of my entire body. (The comfortable sitting device kinda looks like a pod from Invasion of the Body Snatchers/1956).

While we bask in our own jealousy that we didn’t do anything nearly as cool to commemorate Halloween, here are a few just released horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries to help pull us out of our collective shame spiral…

Haunters: Art of the Scare

HAUNTERS: ART OF THE SCARE (available now)
Haunters is a heart-warming and heart-stopping documentary about people who sacrifice everything to create the most popular and polarizing haunted houses for Halloween — from boo-scare mazes to a controversial new subculture of extreme terror experiences.”

Fun stuff, although I’m partial to real haunted houses with real ghosts, mostly because you don’t have to pay to get in. That, and there’s something kinda liberating to soil one’s britches in public after having the groceries scared outta you. Okay, I probably said too much.

Metalball Machine: Kodoku

“A lonely man’s life is thrown into chaos when alien parasites turn a city’s average citizens into kill-crazy cyborg creatures.”

If you saw Meatball Machine (2005), let’s just hope you’re not a vegetarian, otherwise this hyper-gory sequel might make you decorate your Old Navy™ shirt with recycled beef stroganoff.

Mother Krampus

MOTHER KRAMPUS (November 7, 2017/DVD)
“For the 12 days before the Christmas of 1921, children went missing near the local towns woods. A traumatized girl was found, but her mind had gone – she later died of her horrific injuries. Just before the Christmas of 1992, a further five children disappeared again. Their bodies were found in the same woods. Angry and seeking vengeance, the locals hung a woman they believed to be the killer. But before dying, she cursed the town that one day the Christmas Witch, Frau Perchta, would come for them to avenge her death. 25 years later, the story has become little more than a local myth. But as children start to go missing again, everyone begins to wonder if the tales of a curse might be true. This Christmas it’s not only the children that are in danger, it’s the adults too.”

A woman Krampus. Seems kinda redundant as lots of women (and me) turn into “monsters” when they get “crampuses” during certain periods (sorry) of their life. As for the plot, all they did was switch out the old woman (example: see Darkness Falls/2003 with the “tooth fairy” coming back for revenge) and let hilarity ensue.

Snake Outta Compton

“A young rap group suddenly finds themselves up against a giant, mutated snake that threatens to destroy their search for stardom. Aided by two corrupt cops, a crazed gangster, and a mad scientist, the band has one thing to do before getting the record deal they need; get that motherf**kin’ snake outta Compton! Prepare yourself for dope ass beats, unfriendly fire, and the biggest, nastiest snake you’ve ever seen in this outrageous satire of creature features, urban gangster films, and hip hop culture.”

Just when you think no one can come up with a snappy horror movie name. Snake Outta Compton might very well get title of the year. I just hope rap icon/legend Ice Cube makes a cameo.

Bubblegum and Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Mars Attacks!

Mars Attacks! (1996) is a comic sci-fi take on those old Mars Attacks! bubblegum cards of the early ’60s. The cards were cool, the gum, not so much. (I can blame my dental work on that tooth-chipping candy.)

Mars Attacks!

Thousands of green, bug-eyed Martians arrive in flying saucers, looking to annihilate all living junk on Earth. Once the aliens are deemed hostile (rays guns disintegrating your flesh like flash paper), the world hits the panic button.

Mars Attacks!

You can kill the duck quacking brain creatures and make their heads pop like a puberty zit, but it’s kinda tough. Our last line of defense – Slim Whitman music, which does to the Martians what microwave ovens do to Jell-O™.

Mars Attacks!

Starring everyone in Hollywood, this mildly entertaining invasion fest even has a cameo with Godzilla. It gets better with the addition of tight pants lounge icon Tom Jones, who, when you think about it, is the Las Vegas answer to Godzilla.

Speaking of Vegas, the place gets creamed by the aliens. Good – I lost three month’s rent at the tables. Now I know why they call it craps.