Archive for It’s Alive

Multiple Mutants

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It Lives Again

At the end of It’s Alive (1974), Frank Davies, the father of the mutant claw baby, gets a phone call: “They found another one…in Seattle.” OK, I live in Seattle and hearing that totally gooned me out. This momentous moment sets up the 1978 sequel, It’s Alive 2: It Lives Again.

It Lives Again

Don’t care how cute they are, I don’t want mutant claw babies eating my face off. And neither does Frank, who gets a bunch of doctors and scientists who “think outside the box” to track down the babies for studying purposes before they can be killed, which is what is being done in delivery rooms all over the States.

It Lives Again

Frank even goes so far as to crash a baby shower of an expectant couple to warn them that a.) their newborn is a mutant claw baby, b.) that the police are standing by to blast it into oatmeal, and c.) he can save them and their little monster if they would just go to a remote cabin in the woods where he’s got two other babies hidden from harm. Yep, the police find out about all of this and don’t like it one stinkin’ bit.

It Lives AgainLots of gunfire, blood and screaming. You may think you know how it ends, but you don’t. I, on the other hand, called it. I will say, however, that the ending totally sets up It’s Alive III: Island of The Alive (1987). Nope, that’s all you’re gettin’ from me. I mean it.

Expensive UFOs, Ghost Selfies, Fear of Fear

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Found some really cool Close Encounters of the Third Kind art (by artist Daniel Keane) on the Internet. (The term “world wide web” is so Netscape 3). This got me thinking about that recently released Navy jet fighter footage of a UFO pretty much outmaneuvering them as if playing paranormal dodgeball.

UFO

Made public (finally) by the Pentagon last December, the footage was shot back in 2004 and was so convincing the Pentagon emptied the collection plate for $22 million to study the “40-foot-long Tic Tac” and its relatives. And yet we can’t come up with a few hundred bucks to fix that @#$%! pothole on the street in front of my house? I already did the research — it’s definitely a hole. It’s so big, you could put other holes in it.

UFOs

Here’s how the government rationalized the fund folly — retired Cmdr. David Fravor told CNN’s The Situation Room the money spent on the program was a drop in the bucket relative to the military’s over half-a-trillion-dollar annual budget. Pffft — I would’ve done the legwork for 82% of that amount.

On that promissory note, here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that the military may or may not spend a million billion dollars to study…

Irrational Fear

IRRATIONAL FEAR (available now)
“Six therapy patients are brought together at a secluded cabin to confront their strangest fears. But these fears won’t just hurt them…they will kill them.”

My strangest fears include never getting to ride in that Death Proof (2007) Chevy Nova™, invisible dog poop on visible sidewalks, and getting bitten by a radioactive spider and webbing my pants in front of the Green Goblin. That would be embarrassing on so many levels.

Malicious

MALICIOUS (Summer, 2018)
“When a young college professor Adam and his pregnant wife Lisa suffer a traumatic event, they find themselves along with Lisa’s sister Becky haunted — and connected — to a malicious entity. It is only when Adam calls upon Dr. Clark, a professor of parapsychology at the university, that the true horror of what they have encountered becomes clear.”

Lots of movie gals getting knocked up by evil these days: Restraint (2018), The Lullaby (2018), Still/Born (2018), Prevenge (2016), Shelley (2016), Devil’s Due (2014), Delivery (2013), The Clinic (2010), Grace (2009), etc. And let us not forget Rosemary’s Baby (1968), the gold standard for crib horror. (Honorary mention: It’s Alive/1974.) Why, there’s enough pregnancy-gone-wrong movies to fill up 40 weeks. Heh. For a really lurid take on this genre, try Inseminoid (1981). If the title doesn’t fill your diapers, the plot will: “A space-team member goes berserk after being impregnated by something on another planet.” It appears somethings on other planets don’t practice safe sex. I bet they don’t even pay child support, either, those losers.

Aura

AURA (November 8, 2018/UK— 2018/2019/US)
“Said to revolve around the concept of photographing your own aura, known as Kirlian photography.”

So you take a selfie of yourself sucking in your cheeks in like an anorexic/narcissistic supermodel and a ghost demon shows up in the photo? Just as it’s not making that two-fingered “peace sign” dealie behind my head, I’m okay with the photo-op. Ready for my close-up.

200 Hours

200 HOURS (2018)
“It’s 1986 and a group of graduate students are close to discovering a cure for sleep using an experimental new drug, but something goes terribly wrong with a test subject. After their department is shut down, the team moves forward in secret — only this time on themselves.”

Sounds like a rip-off of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) and Flatliners (1990/2017). More rip-offery: The movie’s logo rips freely from Stranger Things (2016). And the bra that gal is sporting? I’m wearing the same one!

Tropical Teenage Mutants

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive

The mutant claw babies from It’s Alive (1974) and It’s Alive 2: It Lives Again (1978) go on spring break to a tropical island paradise and have many madcap adventures, like the time mutant claw baby #2 gets drunk on tequila shooters, throws up on a palm tree and passes out. His buddies duct-tape him to a Ski-Doo™ and give the keys to a mischievous monkey. Um, sorry – I was paraphrasing from a script I wrote for the first It’s Alive sequel.

It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive

It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive (1987) begins eight years after the first “incident” (people ripped into Shredded Wheat™) with a court trial arguing to let the mutant claw babies (now mutant pre-teens) the right to not be shot in the face, and live on an island away from society and its “rules.” The judge agrees. Yes! The system works if you let it.

It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive

But that hard-core baby-hater Lieutenant Perkins (from the first movie) wants the mutants eliminated and goes to the island under the false pretext of helping one of the dads find his claw son. His real plan: to shoot them all in the face. What Perkins doesn’t know is the mutant claw babies know the island like the back of their, uh, claw, and turn the paradise retreat into an…ISLAND OF BLOOD.

It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive

Even with various face-ripping, gut-ripping and shirt-ripping, III is not nearly as good as the first two It’s Alive movies. Nevertheless, I’m somewhat impatiently waiting for It’s Alive IV: The Claw Is Family. In outer space. Hey, everyone likes outer space, so it could be BIG box office.