Archive for It Waits

Horror Appetizers

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Dark Summer

In the mood for generic horror? Hey, who among us isn’t? That’s kind of a snarky set-up as there’s rarely anything new in horror, from title to plot. But heck, I’d rather watch a cookie-cutter horror movie than a chick flick anyday. And documentaries that aren’t about UFOs or Bigfoot? Not gonna waste my time, man.

So, here’s a few more to distract you from watching educational and or com/rom films…

Dark Summer (2015)
“While home alone under house arrest, a teenager undergoes a terrifying brush with the supernatural in this stylish, hair-rising horror film.”

I bet the terrifying brush with the supernatural is her having to grow up and find a job.

It Follows

It Follows (2015)
“For 19-year-old Jay the fall should be about school, boys, and weekends at the lake. Yet, after a seemingly innocent sexual encounter, she suddenly finds herself plagued by nightmarish visions; she can’t shake the sensation that someone, or something, is following her. As the threat closes in, Jay and her friends must somehow escape the horrors that are only a few steps behind.”

They had me at innocent sexual encounter, although close encounters of the sex kind are rarely innocent. At least that’s what Christian websites tell you. Yet another reason to have sex.

Army of Frankensteins

Army of Frankensteins (2015)
“After a failed attempt to propose to his girlfriend, Alan Jones is beaten to within an inch of his life by a street gang and taken to a mysterious lab where Dr. Tanner Finski and his kid genius assistant perform horrible experiments on him hoping to re-animate a Frankenstein. The experiments lead to a hole being ripped in space and time, manifesting an army of Frankensteins from hundreds of parallel universes and sending them all back to the 19th century, directly into the heart of a bloody battle between the North and South.”

OK, this one sounds pretty cool. Really wish they’d quit using “Frankenstein” to indicate monsters. It should be “Frankenstein’s Monsters” as Dr. Frankenstein was the crazy S.O.B. who built the creature from scratch.

Frankenstein's Army

P.S. Try your hardest not to confuse Army of Frankensteins with the similarly titled Frankenstein’s Army, a Hellrasier-ish (1987) and surreal sci-fi flick that came out in 2013 and features some of the coolest monsters this side of Silent Hill (2006).

Canadian Bat-Man

Posted in Bigfoot, Evil, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , on January 9, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

It Waits

A carnivorous monster lives in the woods and slaughters campers/hikers by opening their chests and faces like Jell-O™ snack-packs. Big deal – Bigfoot’s been doing that for years.

It Waits

A sexy, alcoholic chick forest ranger lives with her feathered comfort device (a parrot), thoughts and vodka in a ranger tower. She needed the solitude (and booze) because she killed her best friend while out partying and driving drunk. Guilt makes her reclusive, but not unable to have sex with other forest rangers.

It Waits

But while she’s letting guys explore her mountainous regions, a creature of some sort is making landfill out of backpackers stinking up the woods. That night the monster takes a chunk out of her leg for tasting purposes. He leaves, but will come back when he’s more hungry. (He was full of campers and couldn’t possibly eat another bite, thank you.)

It Waits

The monster in the Canadian It Waits (2005) sprouts huge bat wings and flies off. If I had a red flag, I’d throw it right now; its almost identical to the creature in Jeepers Creepers (2001), minus the hat and pants. Regardless, an inevitable confrontation ensues and two sticks of convenient dynamite solves everyone’s problems. Except mine.

It Waits

And the bird? It’ll probably be back for a sequel once his agent irons out the details and co-producer credit.