Archive for Istanbul

Turkish Dracula

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Drakula İstanbul’da

1953’s Drakula İstanbul’da — painstakingly translated to Dracula in Istanbul, paints the Prince of Darkness in humorless hues. (Actually, the movie is in black and white, but Dracula was/is a pretty colorful guy.) This Turkish Dracula is balding, has crayon tip fangs pointing opposite directions, and is only interested in real estate deals and juicing your neck.

Drakula İstanbul’da

Drakula İstanbul’da is a re-vamping (heh) of the 1928 novel Kazıklı Voyvoda (Impaler Voivode). And that book was a near photocopied translation of Bram Stoker’s novel that brought Dracula into the mainstream. Only difference is the Mina character is a stripper (um, I mean “showgirl”) and Dracula boot lick Renfield is nowhere to be found. (He’s probably in some basement eating the life force of bugs.)

Drakula İstanbul’da

Drakula is hungry and his feeding techniques look more like he’s leaning in to tell you a bawdy joke rather than a perforation. His target is two young ladies, one of whom has a mysterious secret: sleepwalking. Scary, but assured it’ll go away once she’s married. (Heard that doesn’t work with uncontrollable flatulence.)

Drakula İstanbul’da

Drakula is hunted down in a long and boring process (the only chills would be if you watched this in the Antarctica with the windows open), and dispatched with a medium rare stake through the heart as applied with a rock. Time to take down the anti-Drakula decorations — all garlic must go. “But I use it to cook with,” says Mina, who protests she won’t be able to make her eggplant recipe without it. (No person in their right mind would eat that crap anyway, so better to just move on to mac ’n cheese and give up this eggplant madness and schemes.)

Turkish Batman

Dracula isn’t the only intellectual property grave Istanbul has robbed. Superman, Flash Gordon, Zorro, Captain America, Batman, Tarzan, Satan and Spider-Man (as a green-suited criminal) have all been given a Turkish bath, and look like they were dressed in clothes their moms made them. Final note: You haven’t any idea of what Istanbul is all about until you’ve seen Turkish Batman cavort with ladies of burlesque.

Turkish Captain America

P.S. For some prime hardcore Turkish horror action, check out Baskin (2015), wherein four cops enter the foyer of Hell when they happen upon a Black Mass in an abandoned building. Hope you have a strong stomach. Otherwise it’s recycled eggplant time.

Baskin

Baskin Evil

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Baskin

Baskin is another one of those indie foreign horror movies I saw a trailer for about 1,300 beers ago, but have dutifully waited for its release while sitting in a dive bar. Judging by the new trailer, my patience is about to be rewarded.

First, the plot: “A group of Turkish police called in to a desolate area stumble upon a squalid and blood-soaked den of satanic ritual. Baskin is a visceral trip into the darkest pits of a very palpable evil.”

Baskin

That’s an understatement. Baskin sports one of the more goopy/gory/goon-out trailers in recent memory.

First heard of Baskin in 2013, but was alerted through the e-grapevine it’s premiering at the 40th Annual Toronto Film Festival 2015 during the “Midnight Madness” line-up. Wish I could go, but I can’t stay up that late.

Baskin

Some funny trivia about Baskin I copied/stole off the Internet: “The film was shot independently in Istanbul, Turkey, during the height of the police brutality and Gezi resistance that hit the headlines worldwide. It was a risky night shoot with actors dressed as cops, two police cars, and a live goat.”

Baskin

A goat. I thought those things were extinct. That they found a live one means this movie is gonna kick göt, which ironically sounds like “goat” but is translated from Turkish to “ass.” Heh.