Archive for Ireland

Metal For Your Face, Empowered Horror Women, Cursed Movie Stars

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Iron Maiden

If you’re a fan of heavy metal (again, why wouldn’t you be?), you’ll load your britches over a gaggle of new Iron MaidenEddieHalloween masks by Trick or Treat Studios (.com). Eddie, as everyone in the universe knows (even aliens), is the ghoulish mascot for Iron Maiden, gracing the cover of all their albums, sometimes as a zombie slasher, undead WWII pilot, an Egyptian mummy and even a living dead cyborg. If I was a cyborg, I’d want to look like Eddie. Then we could hang out all day and do cool cyborg stuff.

Eddie

So now Trick or Treat Studios is set to release four new Iron Maiden full head masks, including “Aces HighEddie, Powerslave, Somewhere in Time Eddie, Final Frontier Eddie, and Number of the Beast Eddie. What, no Groundhog’s Day Eddie? Prices for this sublime face-wear ranges from $49.99 — $59.00. A mere pittance to look like one of heavy metal’s most famous icons.

Iron Maiden

A little history: the rotting, skeletal visage of Eddie was done by artist Derek Riggs, was based on an original design by art student who just happened to be BBFs with DaveLightsBeasley, who, back in the early band days, was in charge of lighting, pyrotechnics and other hearing-damaging effects for Iron Maiden’s live show.

Iron Maiden

The new masks will be available August/September of this year, which I was just told is 2018. Geez, it was 1980 just a few days ago. So while we wait for our molded plastic makeover, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies to bang your rubber-encased head to…

Dead List

DEAD LIST (May 1, 2018/VOD)
Calvin is competing with five other actors — Zander, Scott, Kush, Jason and Bob — for a major movie role. Stopping at nothing to win the role of a lifetime, he uses a demonic book to curse his fellow actors, with each actor being killed off in their own separate unique and terrifying chapter.”

Sounds like one of those Final Destination (2000) things, but with demon flavorings added. The only demonic book I know is the TV Guide™. That flippin’ thing is evil and will suck your soul right out of your eyeballs on a nightly basis for hours at a time.

Mary Shelley

MARY SHELLEY (May 25, 2018)
“Passionate and rebellious teenager Mary Wollstonecraft finds a kindred spirit in poet Percy Shelley. Their whirlwind love affair scandalizes polite society, as the young couple gorge on literature and a bohemian life. When tragedy strikes and the couple lose their baby daughter, Mary strikes back, finding the courage and bravery to transform her pain into the world’s first science fiction novel, Frankenstein— all by the age of 18.”

Mary Shelley, back in the 1800s, was the woman who created Frankenstein, but she’s not the only one. Have you met my mom?

Under The Silver Lake

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (June 22, 2018)
“Young and disenchanted Sam meets a mysterious and beautiful woman who’s swimming in his building’s pool one night. When she suddenly vanishes the next morning, Sam embarks on a surreal quest across Los Angeles to decode the secret behind her disappearance, leading him into the murkiest depths of mystery, scandal and conspiracy.”

I’m thinkin’ the girl in the pool is a ghost mermaid on the swim from the Law. As for the surreal quest across Los Angeles, just driving a few blocks in Hollywood definitely qualifies.

Don't Leave Home

DON’T LEAVE HOME (2018/2019)
“An American artist’s obsession with a disturbing urban legend leads her to an investigation of the story’s origins at the crumbling estate of a reclusive painter in Ireland.”

I can only guess that the urban legend is a sober Irishman. Heh.

Stumped By Wood Demons

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 12, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Hallow

I don’t wanna freak you out, but there’s a demon in the woods and it wants your baby. (And would it kill you to throw in some diapers?)

The Hallow

That’s at the feel-good heart of The Hallow (aka, The Woods/2015), a British/Irish joint that finds newly minted parents, who just moved into a seriously remote big ass mill house way out in the woods, trying to keep irritating demonic creatures living rent-free in the surround woods from taking their newborn crib monster. The worse part – no 7-Eleven™ for miles in any direction.

The Hallow

Couple of thoughts on The Hallow: It was released in the UK in the summer of 2015. It also premiered at the Sundance Festival six months prior to that. I haven’t seen it because I don’t live in the UK as far as I know. And Sundance has a restraining order against me. So I have to wait in line like the rest of the unwashed masses to see it.

Zombi 2 / The Hallow

Secondly, The Hallow pays loving homage to the infamous eye splinter impalement scene in Zombi 2 (1979) with an icky demon looking to stick it’s pointy digit into the cocktail olive that is the mom’s eye. Cocktail olives are not only mandatory for classy plastic cup cocktails, but can be eaten as a stand-alone snack. Augment with crackers and some processed cheese.

A World of Zombies

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Zombieworld

Oh, boy – YET ANOTHER zombie movie! Yippee! With the June 8, 2015 release of Zombieworld we can watch the 17,000th undead movie released this year! Wow, just think – the undead eating the living! How can the same movie/theme released over and over and over get boring?

Hard to convey sarcasm with the printed word without using a frown-y face Emoji.

Zombieland

So, yeah – Zombieworld. If you feel a yawn coming on, go nuts. Or go watch the superior Zombieland (2009). But if you have to know what Zombieworld is about (and you probably already do), here’s the pitch:

“The end is here! The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us – and all you can do is kick back and watch how it happened, right here, right now in the place we call Zombieworld.”

“Satisfy your thirst for all things zombie as we take you back in time to the biblical rise of the living dead before running screaming from continent to continent as reports of zombie devastation arrive from Ireland, Canada, Australia, and all over the U.S.”

“Watch for the ‘Government Health Warnings’ on ‘How to Survive a Zombie Attack.’ They could be the only thing between you and a newfound hunger for human flesh. And above all else, enjoy yourself – you may not have much longer to live.”

Zombieworld

“With ultra-violence, gallons of gore, and heaps of bloody fun, Zombieworld – a ravenous collection of deadly tales – is like nothing you’ve seen before.”

“Like nothing you’ve seen before.” And that’s the problem, isn’t it? More like, “everything you’ve seen before – over and over and over.”

Where is that frown-y face Emoji when you need one?

P.S. Zombieworld is not to be confused with the 2014 Spanish movie, Zombie World. Seems filmmakers have run out of movie titles.

Zombie World

Kids Kill The Darndest Things

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Daisy Chain

Moving to the coast of Ireland to get over some emotional issues (baby daughter died – you don’t need details), Martha and Tomas, pregnant and soon expecting a replacement, are ready to re-start their lives. Martha notices a feral child living in a nearby dirty shack, who runs around and causes the grumpy old neighbor some serious frowning. Named Daisy, this girl has been on her own since her folks mysteriously croaked. That she’s presumed autistic isn’t helping matters. No one wants her, the old fart next door keeps shouting warnings about how evil she is and how we’re all doomed and…

The Daisy Chain

Martha manages to communicate with the girl and takes her in. A little Irish Spring™, clothes upgraded from dirty to publicly acceptable, a little combing to get the ticks out of her long dark locks. Good as new…sort of. Martha tries getting the girl adopted. The case worker’s car goes over the cliff. The neighbor rants about how Daisy is an evil Fairey changeling and gets spit in face by the girl, which causes his skin to go all wax candle.

The Daisy Chain

There is one other scene, though, where the melt-face neighbor tricks Daisy into falling into a pre-made ditch, where he then douses her with gasoline for a little payback. Before he can light the match, he… I was going to spoil it, but I’m feeling charitable for the next few minutes.

The Daisy Chain

As intriguing as the premise is, The Daisy Chain (2008) picks up just enough speed to hold your interest, and then just sits there idling. Daisy doesn’t sprout wings and fly around, spitting on people. No magic or majik. Just an uncomfortable feeling that this kid is gonna do something wicked. But she never really does. Oh, well – at least there’s some cool Irish coast scenery with car-plunging cliffs to admire.

The Fungus Among Us

Posted in Classic Horror, Fantasy, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Shrooms

A bunch of dipsh*t American college kids go to Ireland in search of mushrooms with which to consume and get high. Puts a whole new spin on “higher learning.” Off they go into the woods and start picking ’shrooms, except one chick eats the dreaded Death’s Head mushroom and almost dies. Unfortunately.

Shrooms

She spasms out and her heart and lungs don’t explode as promised by their guide, but she does gain premonition-esque powers and sees her friends all die graphic deaths via an unnecessarily complicated backstory-heavy local folklore involving a nearby abandoned all-boys Catholic school and the sadistic schoolmaster who tortured and murdered 78 students (all but two were reconstructed from the pieces).

Shrooms

The kids get high and the requisite jock with gangsta rap leanings goes off in the woods and meets a talking cow that warns him to not go any further or else he’s dead meat. (That’s the pot calling the kettle black.) But this sets up the first of many misdirections that do little to keep you from predicting the outcome. (C’mon – kids on psychedelic drugs vs. ghost legend. Who do you think is to blame for the stabbings, hackings, chokings, drownings?)

Shrooms

Dressed up in high (sorry) stylish photography and trick edits, they want you to believe Shrooms (2007), with its butt awful movie title, is not your standard “college kids die” horror crap. Not so much. That said, they really fumbled the ball by not giving the talking cow more lines.

Boy Eats Girl

Posted in Foreign Horror, Zombies with tags , , , , , , on February 7, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Boy Eats Girl

Oops – mom accidentally killed her teenage son.

Here’s how it all came down: The boy was distraught over thinking his girlfriend was applying the lap vacuum maneuver on his high-school enemy. He has a hangman’s noose in his bedroom (standard issue) and tries it on out of curiosity.

Boy Eats Girl

Before he can get the rope off, mom opens the bedroom door without knocking, thereby knocking the chair from underneath the boy and hangs him. There’s humor in that situation if you just look for it.

Fortunately, mom knew of a voodoo book in the basement of the local church that contains a recipe for bringing back the dead. She retrieves the book, finds the ingredients (freshly-slaughtered chicken necks, diced carrots, parsley, salt to taste) and successfully reanimates her hung son.

Boy Eats Girl

The next day he wakes up apparently as was, but thirstier than all get out. But we know what’s happening – he’s slowly changing into the walking dead.

A confrontation with a school bully leaves a half-eaten hole in said thug’s face. It takes only a few minutes for him to become a hungry zombie. Then he bites some people, they bite some people and soon most of the school is undead. It’s an all-out butcher shop fiesta.

Boy Eats Girl

Say what you will about the believability-stretching plot aspects, the industrial hedge-trimmer body-grinding scene makes weaker plot elements forgivable. Just park your silly brain and let it happen.

Boy Eats Girl

Boy Eats Girl (2005) is a made-in-Ireland comedy horror movie, so all the actors talk like leprechauns. The gore is high-grade and abundant. Irish people really know how to eat flesh.