Archive for Invisible Man

The Blank Expression of Horror

Posted in Misc. Horror, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bruiser

Henry’s life sucks. His wife plays with his boss’ not-so-private parts. His best friend and stockbroker have robbed him blind. His upscale house is left in construction limbo because he’s overdrawn at the bank. His housekeeper is swiping valuable drink coasters. Everywhere he goes, somebody is always wiping their feet on him.

Bruiser

No big surprise when Henry wakes up one morning to find his face gone: a completely white mug — no features except for his mouth and two pinholes for eyes. He looks like a crash-test dummy. Where Henry was the Invisible Man before, he now becomes the Phantom of the Opera, skulking around with a fedora and black cape, looking to balance karmic scales.

Bruiser

He catches his wife riding his boss’ baloney pony and tosses her out a four-story window. See ya! He corners his stockbroker in a locker room and cuts his losses with a bullet to the Izod. Later, alligator. He gets in a little batting practice with his housekeeper’s head. Base hit!

Bruiser

Henry is able to do as a faceless man what he couldn’t do as a browbeaten corporate schmuck. While there is blood and a head being squashed by a train wheel, Bruiser (2000) is more of a character story and not a bowel-chewing special effects flick.

 Bruiser

The ending seemed tacked on, but it put a grin on my faceful face. Two more in the plus column: Henry’s wife is really hot and we get to see her unfaithful nudity, and white-faced punk Goths, The Misfits play at Henry’s boss’ party where Henry upstages them all. Too bad Henry didn’t turn into a zombie and just eat everybody’s faces instead of losing his.

Merry Christmas, Dracula

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Christmas At Draculas

Even though it’s grammatically wonky Christmas at Draculas (2015) is in contention for best horror movie title of the decade.

Just think what the holiest time of the year (besides Halloween and National Beer Day) would be like with the Prince of Darkness. I mean, what would you give the guy who has everything? A chew toy? A cherry Slurpee™? A Groupon™ for tooth polish?

So here’s the plot, which has me drooling all over my National Beer Day shirt:

“Told through the eyes of The Invisible Man, Count Dracula has hit rock bottom, so with the help of his noble companion Igor, he decides to throw the greatest Christmas party of all time.”

“He invites The Wolfman, Medusa, The Wicked Witch, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and The Invisible Man. But when two killers arrive at the door, things slowly begin to spiral out of control. And Dracula’s faith lies in the hands of one creatureDeath himself!”

I only have one question – How do I score an invite to this party? If anyone can hook a brother up, I’d appreciate it.

Nude Monsters

Posted in Classic Horror, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Nudie Monsters calendar

Arriving right in time for 2014, which is pretty much now, by the way (excluding those of us who still live in the past), is the Nudie Monster Calendar by art phenom, Paul Garner. Even though he’s from Brighton, UK, his calendar features brilliant illustrations of old school classic American monsters/creatures, from the Invisible Man to Creature from the Black Lagoon. So yeah, no Godzilla or Mecha-Kong.

Nudie Monsters calendar

This gotta-have-it-now calendar sells for £12.00, which converts to $19.66 in good ’ol U.S. fun coupons. Shipping in a hopefully bacteria-free envelope will set you back another £7.00, or $11.47. So $31.13 for this insanely cool piece of pop culture.

Nudie Monsters calendar And monsters aren’t Paul’s only forte; perusing his amazing website [paulgarnerart.com] you’ll find his re-imagined art pieces including celebrities, rock posters, CD cover art, characters, and so much more, your face will ache with the pain of knowing you’ll never be in the same artistic zip code.

Nudie Monsters calendar

While you contemplate your shortcomings, each calendar page is A4 (297cm x 21cm or “8.27 x 11.69”) portrait aspect. The calendar is Wir-o bound (or “bound by Wir-o”) and signed by Paul himself, and not just rubber-stamped. Now that’s classy.