Archive for Hulu

X-Files Anniversary, Demonic Kids Games, Zombie Baby-Making

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The X-Files

Talk about finding the Holy Grail of sci-fi TV series — 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment™ is issuing all 11 seasons/218 episodes of The X-Files on DVD/Blu-ray box set on October 15, 2018 to commemorate the pop culture phenomenon’s 25th anniversary. Now you can binge watch (take the week off from work) all those elusive flying saucers, aliens, monsters, demonic stuff, and subsequent government conspiracies. That’s the good news. The bad news is its only available (for now) in England. Blimey!

The X-Files

Yeah, there’s been X-Files box sets before, the last one released a few years ago and only went to Season 10. At $148.00 for the Blu-ray collection and $119.00 for the DVD set, it was still a bargain at twice the price. The only drag is that the new box set contains 59 discs; Trying to find a particular episode in a sea of shows seems unduly laborious (sorry — word of the day calendar).

The X-Files

So while you click on over to Amazon.co.uk to buy it ($117.00 in U.S. converted dollars), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be worthy of a Fox Muldar/Dana Scully investigation…

Light As A Feather

LIGHT AS A FEATHER (October 12, 2018/Hulu)
“An innocent game of ‘Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board’ goes wrong when the five teen girls who played start dying off in the exact way that was predicted, forcing the survivors to figure out why they’re being targeted — and whether the evil force hunting them down is one of their own.”

Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Sounds more like a wishful health condition than a game. If it’s pure evil they’re looking for, those girls should start playing Twister™, the Exorcist edition.

Welcome To Mercy

WELCOME TO MERCY (November 2, 2018)
“A young woman struggles against the unholy forces that possess her in this terrifying occult thriller. After being stricken with stigmata, single mother Madaline is sent to a remote convent where nothing is what it seems and her friend August is seemingly the only person she can trust. Together, they must confront the demons inside Madaline before she becomes the Antichrist.”

Wikipedia™ defines stigmata as a term used in Christian Mysticism to describe the manifestations of bodily wounds, scars and pain in locations corresponding to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus Christ, such as the hands, wrists, and feet. My bartender defines it as falling into sharp sticker bushes while wobbling home unholy drunk.

Mail Order Monster

MAIL ORDER MONSTER (November 6, 2018)
“12-year-old Sam Pepper lost her mother in a car accident and her reclusive, quirky nature makes her an easy target for bullying. Realizing she’d had enough, Sam orders the parts to build a ‘Monster’ from a comic book ad, and is finally able to get back at the bully. Life becomes gets more complicated when Sam discovers her father Roy proposes to his girlfriend Sydney, Pepper relies on her monster to keep her from getting a new mom.”

Comic book back page ads in my day only sold stuff like X-Ray glasses (didn’t work), live Seamonkeys (didn’t float), Kryptonite “rocks” (regular rocks painted green) and Space Shoes for $1.98 (still wearing ‘em).

Zoo

ZOO (2018/2019)
“Karen and John have lost the spark of married life the day they were notified that they were unable to conceive. Now they almost live like the walking dead, imprisoned by everyday life and on the verge of divorce. When the world is hit by a pandemic that really turns people into zombies, the couple have to lock themselves in their apartment, waiting for rescue. While the world outside is falling apart, they are forced to find their way back to each other and reclaim their lost love.”

Stuck indoors while zombies are taking over outside and nothing to do but practice making babies? This doesn’t sound like a dark horror comedy but rather…THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!

Badass Aliens, Spooky Town, Zombie Rabies

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Predator

Two new badass key art posters for the upcoming Predator (September 14, 2018) movie. There’s different titles on several of ‘em — one of the first posters says Pred4tor, and these say simply The Predator. I don’t care what they call it as I’ve been a Predator fan since the first movie (can’t remember what they called it) when it came out in 1987. I even tried to comb my hair to look like the dreadlocked Predator, even though everybody else at the time was trying to look like a member of Duran Duran.

The Predator

As I e-barfed about this movie back in May, 2018, the plot revolves around the alien Predator hunters genetically hybriding themselves with DNA from other species. Here on Earth we call that getting lucky at Ladies Night (“Lois Lanes”) at the bowling alley. (And hey — microwaved nachos are only $1.99 while supplies last!)

Aqua Velva

Before you pull out the plaid and Aqua Velva™ cologne and head to the bowling alley, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not go good with $1.99 microwaved nachos…

Castle Rock

CASTLE ROCK (July 25, 2018/Hulu™)
Castle Rock combines the mythological scale and intimate character storytelling of Stephen King’s best-loved works, weaving an epic saga of darkness and light, played out on a few square miles of Maine woodland.”

The extended trailer for this 10 episode TV series looks pretty dang creepy. Guess I’ll have to bribe my neighbor with some sort of adult beverage with optional ice cubes and/or silly straw to get his Hulu™ login password and binge watch it.

Hurt

HURT (July 26, 2018/Fantasia)
Rose moves into a house in the woods close to her sister after her boyfriend gets deployed and things don’t go right when Halloween night arrives.”

Yeesh, they really don’t try to sell it with that generic/lame press release. Wonder if Rose has to do battle with Halloween raccoons out trick-or-treating for pine cones? Who wouldn’t want to see a movie like that?

Patient Zero

PATIENT ZERO (August 14, 2018)
“An unprecedented global pandemic has resulted in the evolution of a new species. An aggressive form of rabies turns the infected into predators, addicted to violence. An inexplicably gifted human survivor with the ability to speak their new language spearheads a hunt for Patient Zero in order to find a cure to save his infected wife and humanity.”

The global pandemic that creates an aggressive form of rabies no doubt results in Republicans. That obvious truth stated, Patient Zero sounds like a cross between Pontypool (2008) and every other zombie movie from the last 10 years. You may now aggressively yawn.

My Worst Nightmare

MY WORST NIGHTMARE (Canada on T+E/Spring 2019)
My Worst Nightmare explores harrowing recurring nightmares and brings them to life in vivid detail.”

This is gonna be Canadian documentary TV series, which means you should stock up on Moosehead Lager (5% alcohol), Molson Canadian (5% alcohol), Labatt Blue (5% alcohol), Sleeman’s Honey Brown (5.3% alcohol), Big Rock Traditional Ale (5% alcohol), and — winner! — Unibroue La Fin Du Monde (9% alcohol). Heck, try ’em all and bring your own nightmares to life in vivid detail.