Tattooed Superhero, Pentagon Aliens, Eating Planets

Going batty over the first released pic of Ruby Rose as the new Batgirl. Before she launches her own series, CW is gonna have her do pop-ups in The Flash, Supergirl and Arrow. (It’ll be called Elseworlds. Batman is gonna be so jealous.)

Ruby Rose, if you didn’t hear, is being touted as the first gay female superhero in the lead role. While CW already has several high-profile gay/lesbian characters in their superhero shows, this is further great news. And the stunningly attractive and badass Ruby — former Australian model, actress, and television presenter who is literally painted in tattoos — is an awesome casting choice. (You saw her in The Meg, yes? The shark wisely chose to swim in the opposite direction of her.)

While we wait impatiently for Ruby to turn criminals into prison fertilizer, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi flicks that may or may not be as cool as the new Batgirl…

ALIENS AT THE PENTAGON (available now)
“For years the US government denied investigating UFOs. But when an ultra-secret Pentagon program to study the Alien threat was exposed in late 2017, the world was stunned by this revelation. Nick Pope, aka ‘The Real Fox Mulder’, investigated UFOs and other unexplained phenomena for the British government. Now Nick exposes the secretive workings of the Pentagon’s real-life X-Files unit, using his knowledge and past experience to tell the incredible story as only a true government insider can.”

If you’re a fan of UFO documentaries like, um, me, then you’ll no doubt want to rent this one. But don’t buy it if you’re planning on being abducted by aliens in the near future. I’m still waiting.

HAUNTED (October 19, 2018/Netflix™)
“Netflix’s™ Haunted gives a chilling glimpse into the first-person accounts from people who have witnessed horrifying, peculiar, extraordinary supernatural events and other unexplained phenomena that continue to haunt them.”

The only horrifying event I’ve ever witnessed is the bar I’m in closing at 2AM. I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Then again, maybe it’s all that beer that’s giving me the trembles.

GODZILLA: THE PLANET EATER (November 9, 2018/Japan | Netflix™ 2019)
“Last year, Toho and Polygon kicked off an animated trilogy with Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters, which continued this year with Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle (now on Netflix™). The trilogy ends with Godzilla: The Planet Eater.”

Awesome title. And it suits Godzilla Earth perfectly as he can be seen in the previous two animated features biting into mountains as if they were Hostess Cupcakes™. So if he eats a planet for dinner, what might be a good side dish — a jungle salad, perhaps?

PET SEMATARY (April 5, 2019)
“Based on the seminal horror novel by Stephen King, Pet Sematary follows Dr. Louis Creed, who, after relocating with his wife Rachel and their two young children from Boston to rural Maine, discovers a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near the family’s new home. When tragedy strikes, Louis turns to his unusual neighbor, Jud Crandall, setting off a perilous chain reaction that unleashes an unfathomable evil with horrific consequences.”

If you saw the original adaptation (1989), it was pretty dang excellent, even if it was a spin on the Monkey’s Paw back-from-the-dead gut-punch. I don’t care as the trailer for the new one looks to continue the thrills, chills and doctor bills.

Medium Rare Face

Peyton Westlake is a scientist who has been working on developing synthetic skin. Hmm, not seeing an obvious market for such a product other than adding a new taste texture to Hostess Cupcakes™.

Peyton’s bummed because the skin can only last 99 minutes when exposed to light, melting away into a messy goo as it disintegrates. Stays put in the darkness, though, so there’s that.

The doc’s girlfriend is an attorney who has enough evidence to put a local crime boss into the crossbar hotel for life. Guess it wasn’t very smart of her to drop by Peyton’s waterfront warehouse lab with that evidence. So it’s kind a hard to blame Durant, the crime boss, for blowing the place up, unfortunately with Peyton in it.

His flesh seared off and his body flash-cured, the well-done doc is not done yet. He makes it back to shore without being eaten by sharks, res-sets up his lab, and goes about perfecting his synthetic skin, because now he has a customer for it.

Seeking revenge, Peyton is able to make his skin look like yours or your mom’s, which means he can imitate the very criminals he hates with what’s left of his stir-fried sanity. This causes much confusion and angst among the criminals, who can’t figure out what the epidermis cookin’ hell is goin’ on around here.

Darkman (1990) plays like a comic book come to life with lots of exaggerated action and facial expressions. Those WITH faces, anyway. And Peyton is crazy cool, what with his bandaged face, dark hat and trench coat, and his inability to feel physical pain (ask the doctor who experimented on him after the “accident”). That he goes freakin’ nuts means someone’s gonna have to FACE up to their punishment. Heh.