Melting Faces On The Rocks

What’s worse — drinking wine and watching your flesh literally turn into hot pudding, or your joystick falling off and a bunch of junkyard hobos playing keep away with it? If you’re a guy, I already know your answer.

All of this and more happens in the cult comedy horror classic, Street Trash (1987). This movie, about alcohol that melts you, people living in city dumps and some of the most stinkiest sex you’ll ever hope to not have, has this and more.

Brooklyn, New York. A liquor store owner finds a 60 year-old case of wine called Tenafly Viper. (Who wouldn’t drink that?) His client base is the homeless, so sit back and watch the crumpled bills flow like bum honey.

Within two seconds of consuming said Viper wine, your flesh liquifies, turns into a carnival of colors, and your drinking problem is solved forever. A frantic cop tries to solve the deaths, all the while a mentally unplugged Vietnam veteran, also living in the junkyard (I hear rents are quite affordable there), has formed a gang of junk thugs to rule the rubbish.

While it’s a face-pinching moment to see dumpster dames engage in garbage sex (I hear flies and maggots are aphrodisiacs in some junkyard countries), it’s when a hobo’s flesh flute falls off (not pictured — I just can’t), and people start throwing it around like a deflated Nathan’s Ballpark Frank™, that’ll have you questioning your taste in movies. (I’m exempt because I’m mentally unplugged.)

Insane, yet colorful gore. Melting hobos. Booze aplenty. Any questions?

Sensual Brazilian Space Bug

Zombie mosquitoes? Sure, I’ll bite. (Heh.) How could I turn down a premise – and a title like Mosquitoid (aka, The Mosquito Alien – Nights of Terror)?

This mash-up comes from Brazil, where there are lots of zombie mosquitoes all over the place. The Internet verified that with poorly written eyewitness accounts from hobo drunks. But before you book your vacation to South America, know that Mosquitoid is in the early stages of production, relying on crowd-funding to get across the finish line.

Need a pitch? Mosquitoid is about a giant mosquito from Planet Endfly, who finds a crack in a black hole in space and comes to Planet Earth. When he comes to Ribeirão Preto, a city that is experiencing an epidemic of the same mosquito because of the excess of still water, he promotes chaos. Mosquitoid’s venom first kills then turns the dead into zombie mosquitoes that attack the city’s population.”

“The mosquito goes through numerous funny situations because of his personalities: mad scientist, drag queen, clumsy soldier, sensual colonel, crazy hippie, space warrior… All this is washed down with very black humor, blood and some sensuality.”

That last paragraph easily describes many people I’ve seen in many dive bars. Except for the sensuality. There is nothing sensual about hobo drunks.

While you can personally help fund Mosquitoid (IndieGoGo.com), just know that an Alien Mosquitoid made its first appearance on 2012 as a sci-fi action figure in Lego’s™ Galaxy Squad™ series. (Mosquitoid also shows up in the Swarm Interceptor, Warp Stinger and Bug Obliterator sets.)

I have no idea why I know this. Apparently the words “get a life” don’t mean a thing to me.