Archive for Hitler

Finnish Superheroes, Hitler Dinosaurs, Vampire Neighbors

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rendel

Been watching the new Marvel™ TV series Iron Fist on Netflix™. There are good aspects and some so bad it causes involuntary facial flinching. Daniel Rand, introduced as a kid who lost his corporate rich mom and dad in a relaxing vacation plane wreck over the Himalayas, is rescued by invisible monks and raised for the next 15 years to be the next Iron Fist, solely designed to wipe out the evil gang, The Hand. They beat him with sticks every day to reinforce their clenched mandate.

15 years later he shows up unexpectedly in downtown New York as a shoeless street bum (with hipster beard and an iPod™), trying to reconnect with his dad’s company. (He’s an heir worth billions and yet can’t afford socks, matching or otherwise.)

All of this I can get behind except they make him say and do stupid things. (Really bad chi-generating meditation moves and stilted kung-fu reference dialogue.) Worst, they give him a lava glowing fist that, when he’s provoked by violence, lights up and he can punch criminals and/or walls right in the sheet rock. Walls pretty much deserve it because they impede proper feng shui. Stupid walls.

All in all, mildly entertaining, but a surprising misstep by Marvel™, whose only blemish on a stellar track record has been The Fantastic Four. (Note to Marvel — PLEASE quite trying to make that one work. No one gives a crap about a guy who can stretch like a rubber band and another one who looks like passed kidney stones.)

Speaking of things to pass on, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not need to be medically assisted to leave your body…

RENDEL (2017)
“A dark avenger is born when a worldwide corporation known as VALA launches an untested vaccine called Nh25 into the market by bribing, threatening, and killing every official opposing them.

Rendel unleashes his own special kind of hell against VALA, threatening to put an end the distribution of Nh25 As blood spills and the money burns, VALA recruits a group of mercenaries to do what they seemingly can’t, eliminate Rendel permanently.”

Rendel is Finland’s first superhero movie. About time they jumped on the bandwagon. Heck, I’m filming my own superhero movie as we speak: Yell Man: Neighbor Wars (pending $10 million crowd-funding.) Sounds like Rendel is a cross between Spawn (1997) and, well, me (I have a suit just like his, so you can see why people would make the connection. And by people, I mean me.) Despite a personal affront, looking forward to this one.

Living Among Us

LIVING AMONG US (2017)
“A documentary crew is sent in to interview a family of vampires whose existence has been made known to the world. But soon the crew realizes their very lives are in danger as they uncover a deadly secret and must fight for survival.”

Sounds like they took the framework of Fright Night (1985) and went to town with it. So vampires are living next door. Might be time to order some garlic polo shirts and Internet-ordered wooden stakes and go door-to-door because now I’m thinking those aren’t just a-holes living next to me, but bloodsucking a-holes.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

IRON SKY: THE COMING RACE (February 14, 2018)
“Twenty years after the events of Iron Sky, the former Nazi Moonbase has become the last refuge of mankind. Earth was devastated by a nuclear war, but buried deep under the wasteland lies a power that could save the last of humanity — or destroy it once and for all. The truth behind the creation of mankind will be revealed when an old enemy leads our heroes on an adventure into the Hollow Earth. To save humanity they must fight the Vril, an ancient shape-shifting reptilian race and their army of dinosaurs.”

You can look but you may not find anything as crazy cool as Iron Sky (2012). And now with it’s sequel (which I e-barfed about on November 11, 2014) is within release sight. The new trailer shows a reanimated Hitler riding a T-Rex like it was a hobby horse, looking to re-take the world from the inside out. (Turns out those hollow Earthers were right. My apologies.) Consider putting Iron Sky: The Coming Race on your to-do/bucket list.

Lovecraft_Country

LOVECRAFT COUNTRY (HBO/in-production)
“After his father goes missing, Black joins up with his friend Letitia and his Uncle George to embark on a road trip across 1950s Jim Crow America to find him. This begins a struggle to survive and overcome both the racist terrors of white America and the malevolent spirits that could be ripped from a Lovecraft paperback.”

Racists and dark god entities. And how does this differ from the current political administration? You’ve already seen this — every night on the news.

Hitler, Hamburgers and UFOs

Posted in Aliens, Ghosts, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Dreamland

Stopping off at the Lil’ Ale’inn — a roadside diner way out in the Nevada desert that sells hamburgers, fries (ketchup’s free) and flying saucer memorabilia, Megan, a mood-swing prone skank and Dylan, her boyfriend who occasionally passes out (probably to escape her nagging), hear tales of government cover-ups regarding UFOs at the neighboring Area 51. (Note: the diner operator is right — there is such a thing as the “government.”)

Little Ale'inn

Heading out into the night, Dylan turns on the radio and hears Hitler’s 1936 Olympic Games motivational speech. Not much fun to sing along to. Suddenly, the car ceases all operations. Dylan passes out while Megan goes screaming into the desert. Incredibly clever as there’s no one around for miles except…Hitler. He shows up — in full military dress — and says, “I know who you are.”

Dreamland

An army guy with his leg cut off says something phonetically similar. A little ghost girl with zombie eyes says exactly the same thing to Megan, who then screams like she’s passing a half-cooked diner burger. Dylan, whose been transported away by strange lights, returns with glowing eyes, talks her back into the now-functional car.

Dreamland

Something’s not right — Dylan is driving the car without using keys. They pull over and he says that nothing is real and that he knows who she is. Running out into the black desert yet again (at first if you don’t succeed), Megan happens across a small cabin with hundreds of UFO photos on the walls. A strange and sad man walks in. Must be his place. Getting outside, Megan is flanked by the diner dude and Dylan. (I think Hitler was off peeing behind some cactus.)

Dreamland

As limp as this is, you should’ve already figured out the “mystery.” What you can’t decipher is all the abstract clues and how it all pertains. (Hitler? Gimme a break – that exact same plot device was used 10 years earlier in Contact/1997). And in case you were hoping for UFOs in Dreamland (2007), there aren’t any. I feel as though my movie rental dollars were abducted.

Art Bell

P.S. Dreamland, is of course, a nod to UFO/conspiracy/paranormal/etc. late night radio host Art Bell and his Coast to Coast AM talk show Dreamland, a roadside diner forum for UFO/conspiracy/paranormal/etc. space case (and me) call-ins.