Archive for gypsy

Fur Where There Was No Fur Before

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Wolf Man

Back in the suit-n-tie days, Larry Talbot returns to Wales after finding out his brother died. Larry thinks it’s a good opportunity to reconcile with his estranged father. Nice timing for a family patching as Larry’s about to become the family dog.

The Wolf Man

While out on the town, Larry buys a stylish walking cane with a silver wolf’s head for a handle. Looks badass. So much so, he uses it to kill a rogue wolf, sustaining a Band-Aid™ worthy wound during the furry fracas. He later learns that wolf was the son of a gypsy, and…(wait for it)…a WEREWOLF! The wolf man curse has now been non-sexually transferred to Larry. And once the full moon rises, no fire hydrants within miles are safe.

The Wolf Man

Once he finds out he’s behind all the village attacks, Lon Chaney, Jr.’s painfully remorseful Larry Talbot/Wolf Man actually makes you feel sorry for him. But don’t try and pet him soothingly in wolf form as your arm will no longer be yours to swing around at dances and/or flight decks.

The Wolf Man

The entire werewolf mythology — needing a haircut when the moon is full, silver ammunition (or handles on whacking canes), pentagrams, wolfsbane, neck biting and/or neck ripping — comes from this enduring and resonant story of what happens when you’re bitten by a wolf. And not just any old wolfy flea bag…one that’s cursed.

The Wolf Man

The ultra eerie woods and clinging fog impose a sense of tangible dread, as does that freaky, old-as-dirt gypsy woman who recites the famous werewolf poem: “He who drinks beer by the light of the moon, turns into a jackass, a moron, a goon.” (Okay, I may have not remembered that poem correctly.)

The Wolf Man

You probably already saw The Wolf Man, a landmark horror movie, when it came out in 1941. Those of you who haven’t watched since then, do so again. Today if possible. Those of you who haven’t watched it at all, you can’t really call yourself a horror movie fan until you do. The Wolf Man is required viewing, people.

The Wolf Man

Hell Is Full Of Green Gunk

Posted in Evil, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Drag Me To Hell

In order to advance her stimulating career as a bank loan officer, Christine Brown denies an old gypsy woman an extension on a mortgage, thereby invoking a curse, that when applied properly, will drag your soul to Hell. In other words, account closed.

Drag Me To Hell

The gypsy, who dies and comes back to enable said curse by way of a button (don’t ask), looks like one of the moms of The Evil Dead (1981). The rules are clear, though – give the cursed coat button to someone else, then their soul will burn in Hell for, like, a million years. The plan is to give the button back to the dead gypsy woman. I know what you’re thinking, but according to gypsy law, the soul never dies, hence…

Drag Me To Hell

If you can’t predict the ending at this point, go to Hell. The gypsy woman, who spends a lot of time throwing up stuff (maggots, green gunk, undigested breath mints) in Christine’s mouth, is nicely yucky. But the story and effects are as lackluster as my skills with curses.

Drag Me To Hell

Try and see if you can get through Drag Me To Hell’s (2009) seance scene without laughing or throwing up green gunk. Can’t be done.

Frank ’n Wolf

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man (1943) was a box office masterstroke, pitting two of the world’s greatest monsters in a no-disqualifications battle royale. Although considered a horror classic, look under the marquee and you’ll see it wasn’t as epic as the title promised.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

Yeah, everyone thought Larry Talbot, the beleaguered werewolf, died at the end of The Wolf Man (1941). Even the grave robbers looking to pilfer the tomb of Talbot thought so. That is until they popped the top and allowed the light of the full moon to revive Larry’s corpse, enabling him to go on a throat-ripping spree.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

He’s put in hospital by ranting and raving he’s responsible for the community throat-ripping while in wolf form. Oh, Larry – you so crazy! Gooned out to the point of having to go through all those hairy experiences again, Larry breaks out and seeks Maleva, the old gypsy woman whose wolf-y son bit Talbot’s tummy and passed along the curse. She tells him there is no cure, but might know someone who does. So off they go by horse and buggy from London to Germany. That’s around 700 miles. Long time to be sitting next to a ticking time bomb.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

Arriving in Germany, Larry and Maleva ask around town about Dr. Frankenstein, who just happens to have a working knowledge of life and death. More so with death as he died. This makes Larry super bummed. He then gets the idea to root around the semi destroyed Castle Frankenstein (Sorry – spoiler. It was ka-BOOMED back in 1931) for the dead doc’s diary to see if there’s a way to end his immortality.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

It’s here he stumbles across Frankenstein’s monster encased in ice. Pretty cold and snowy in them there parts, even though the lowlands are quite weather agreeable. Not the lowland residents, though. Doesn’t take much to get them in the mood for a little pitchforkin’.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

Larry and Frank break the ice and become allies of sorts. The monster tries to show him where the diary is, but to no avail. Heading into town, Larry fakes a land purchase so he can meet the super hot Baroness Elsa Frankenstein and perhaps get clues to the diary’s whereabouts. About this time Larry’s London doc, who had been trailing him, shows up. Then the monster wanders into town, getting everybody super freaked. They all barely escape the pitchfork and head to the castle.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

NOW we get to the juice. The diary is located, the doctor reassembles the machinery and figures out how to reverse the polarity of electricity on the wired patients and… Dang, he just can’t do it as he suddenly gets a God Complex and wants to make the monster even stronger. As it happens when you mix electricity with monsters on a full moon night, you have problems.

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man

Larry furs up and the two abominations go at it. And here’s where slight disappointment sets in. The monumental battle only lasts 60 seconds, with Franklin throwing the Wolf Man around like a stuffed animal. But I’ll give this to Larry; the boy is quick and agile. While they lock up, one of the villagers lights a pile of dynamite at the foot of the damn the castle is built in front of, thereby releasing the damn’s contents and destroying the rest of the castle and the monsters with it. I think the handsome doc and hot Baroness made it out safely and probably hooked up. I’m fine with that.

FYI: This is not the original Frankenstein’s monster. Dracula played the mute creature this time around. Cool, but not as cool as the original.