Archive for gunslinger

Gunslingers vs. Bloodflingers

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Misc. Horror, TV Vixens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Billy The Kid vs. Dracula

Billy The Kid vs. Dracula (1966) — seems like a match-up match made in heaven: cowboys ’n capes. Not much of a versus, though, when bullets — the tried ’n true methodology of Old West gunslinger Billy The Kid — have about as much effect on Dracula as mosquitoes do on to buffalo home on the range. 

Billy the Kid vs. Dracula

Dracula, traveling to fresh, out west blood supplies by stagecoach, seizes an opportunity to impersonate a hot chick’s uncle after Indians slaughtered the passengers. (The gruesome stuff not shown.) The hot chick just happens to be the fiancée of Billy The Kid, who changed his name to simply William because he’s totally p*ssywhipped.

Billy The Kid vs. Dracula

Dracula, smoother in life than the rubber bat he transforms himself to get around in, f’d up earlier by sucking to death the daughter of traveling Russian immigrants. The grieving parents get jobs at the Bentley Ranch (owned by ’ol Hot Chick Bentley), and do their best to keep Dracula away from Elizabeth (aka, Hot Chick) who just happens to look exactly like Dracula’s ex. I know, a bit plot messy. Stay with the group.

Billy the Kid vs. Dracula

A few face punches, some “meh” gun play (I expected more from B the K), and zero blood and/or graphic displays of neck-sucking. And Dracula, with his rolling eyeballs and late night behavior, is more hammy than a barnyard pig. I expected more from a over-pontificating creature of the night.

Saddle Splatter

Posted in Evil, Misc. Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Kill Or Be Killed

Scheduled for release on March 1, 2016, the titled and re-titled Kill Or Be Killed is being described as a “gore western.” Never heard that term before, but I have to say, I double like it.

Usually movies that start out with a title and end having it changed three times is a red flag. (Kill Or Be Killed began as Red On Yella and then Kill A Fella, neither working on any level for a horror movie, not that the painfully generic Kill Or Be Killed is any better.) But when it features horror legend Michael Berryman, it’s game on.

Kill Or Be Killed

Here’s what will rattle your saddle: “In the autumn of 1900, outlaw Claude “Sweet Tooth” Barbee puts his ‘retirement plan’ in action, attempting to lead his train-robbing gang across Texas to recover a cash stash hidden after a botched railroad heist. They soon discover they’re being hunted by more than just the law – but rather a merciless, unexpected evil quite possibly greater than themselves.

They had me at “Sweet Tooth.” Beyond that, Kill Or be Killed kinda sounds like a cowboy spin on Predator (1987) or some satanic demon dude. Mind you, I’m just extrapolating here. But regardless of how potentially right/not right I may be, looking forward to this one as I admire outlaws who can ride horses without falling off. With that, I have a score to settle with that stupid merry-go-round horse that bucked me off at the Puyallup Fair last summer. I’m calling you out, you painted pile of plywood.

Kill Or Be Killed

P.S. Don’t confuse this Kill Or Be Killed with the 1980 karate punchfest of the same name, or the 1950 movie featuring a wrongly accused of murder guy on the run in South American jungle, or the 1966 Italian western of a gunslinger sticking his barrel between two feuding families, or the 1993 action thriller about  two brothers and a drug empire. (Spoiler: One’s a criminal.)

None of those had merry-go-rounds in ’em.