Archive for Grim Reaper

Vampire TV, Intellectual Grave-Digging, Cellphone Evil

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

What We Do In The Shadows

A couple of cool new key art posters for the impending What We Do In The Shadows TV series arriving March 27. 2019. Cooler, still —  like radioactive flatulence, these things glow in the dark.

What We Do In The Shadows

I’ve tagged this before, but anything worth peating is worth repeating: “Set in Staten Island, FX’sWhat We Do in the Shadows series follows three vampires who have been roommates for hundreds and hundreds of years.”

What We Do IN The Shadows

The same-titled 2014 movie from which this is derived was one of those unexpected home run hits and, like that spore-like stuff in my fridge — continues to grow — will, without hyperbole, become the greatest comedy vampire movie of all time. Okay, clunky sentence. My head hurts.

Until the series debuts next month, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make your farts glow-in-the-dark…

Pet Graveyard

PET GRAVEYARD (April 2, 2019)
“A group of friends are tormented by the Grim Reaper and his sinister pet after they undergo an experiment that allows them to revisit the dead.”

You’d think this Pet Sematary (1989/2019) rip-off is coming from Asylum Studios, who are pros at ripping off original ideas. But someone else is using Asylum’s own business model to get away with the same thing. Hey, Asylum — how does that taste?

Sadako

SADAKO (May 24, 2019/Japan)
“A YouTuber tries to awaken Sadako’s curse.”

Not much to go on, but Sadako — along with Kayako — are two of Japan’s most bankable horror movie icons. Outside of Godzilla and his frenemies, that is. And yes, you’ll have to go to Japan to watch this when it comes out. Bring me back something, ‘k?

We Summon The Darkness

WE SUMMON THE DARKNESS (2019)
“The killing spree of murderous Satanists has already led to 18 deaths throughout America’s Heartland. Three best friends Alexis, Val and Beverly embark on a road trip to a heavy metal music festival. Naive, they bond with three seemingly fun-loving dudes and soon the group heads off to Alexis’ country home, a very secluded place, for an after-party. What should be a night of fun and youthful debauchery may instead take a dark, deadly turn. With killers on the loose, can anyone be trusted?”

Who cares about generic Satanists? I wanna know what bands are on the bill at the heavy metal festival. Hopefully, a few that kill with riffs and solos instead of sprees.

Larry

LARRY (2019/20120)
“A troubled young boy and his family become the target of a monster that materialized through electronic devices such as smart phones and tablets.”

The irony here being that smart phones and tablets are already the monsters in our lives. And yes, they took the concept from 1989’s Shocker. Horror never forgets.

Rent-Free Ghosts

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 8, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ghosthouse

Have to give credit to the Italian made Ghosthouse (aka, La Casa/1988). What it short sheets you in acting, dialogue and plot, it’s delightfully gory. Just the opening sequence alone has a slaughtered family cat, a hatchet through the top of dad’s formerly functioning head, and mom getting her face shredded and eye blown out by an exploding mirror before getting her neck sliced into lunch meat. A family slayed together, stays together.

Ghosthouse

That sets up the premise twenty years later of a young Boston ham radio operator and his emotional rollercoaster of a girlfriend intercepting an ominous call for help, along with an eerie cackle over looped spooky music. Using some sort of math he triangulates the signal and it leads them right to the very long-abandoned house the opening sequence murders took place. Seems some grandfathered evil still lives there rent free.

Ghosthouse

Teaming up with some age-similar squatters, they try to Scooby-Doo the crap out of the mystery. At the core of it is eleven year old Henrietta and her demoniacally-possessed jester clown doll. Even though she died all those years ago (locked in the basement and left to starve to death), she still has work to do. This includes showing up on TV with bleeding eyes, popping up in hallways and any one of the house’s 14 bedrooms in blinding white light, and packing around that evil-cackling clown doll.

Ghosthouse

The dialogue is so painful it makes your crevices itch. The acting ranks somewhere between “just graduated from junior high school to “will you please just stop talking?” Thankfully, Henrietta and her demon doll unleash double heck, turning the old mansion into a non-stop parade of haunted house cliches and gore.

Ghosthouse

Other than the entire thing, Ghosthouse’s paranormal activities are outright LOL: a bedroom where toys and pillow feathers encircle a victim as if an indoor tornado; An running unplugged and motor-less fan’s blade coming lose and frisbee-ing a new throat hole in another victim; Floorboards giving way to a bubble bath of thick milky goop that dissolves skin; A melt-y face skeleton wearing a Grim Reaper robe and brandishing a knife. But it was the blood coming out of a bathroom faucet that really put the frosting on this cadaver cake. And if you can get through it, the ending will put a grin on your non-sliced face.

Ghosthouse

Interesting note: The house featured in the film is the same one used in the splatfest The House by the Cemetery (1981). Wonder what it rents for on Zillow™?

Death Is Calling – Will You Answer?

Posted in Misc. Horror, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , on January 11, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Final Destination

Boarding a plane on a school field trip to Paris (what, no chocolate factory?), a student gets a premonition that flying isn’t the safest mode of transportation, with the aircraft blowing up and killing them all. I proclaim this scene to be freakin’ amazing.

Final Destination

Gooning out, he and a handful of students get tossed off the plane, only to watch it double explode moments after take-off. If that was me I’d kiss the ground so hard as to give it a hickey.

Final Destination

Not long afterward, the surviving students start dying in seemingly accidental ways. This is because Death, cheated out of grim reaping their lives, is coming to reconcile the balance sheet.

Final Destination

Even though it is a DIRECT borrow from a 1961 Twilight Zone episode titled Twenty-Two, Final Destination (2000) thankfully isn’t one of those mindless “kill teens” horror movies. OK, it kinda is, but not as STUPID as 99% of the genre. You know everyone’s gonna get it, but you don’t know how, which is where FD rocks.

Final Destination

As with the Saw movies, FD’s mouse trap deaths are pure art – and intentionally misleading, which adds more savoriness to the end result. If I explain ’em here, then they won’t have the same impact when you watch it. Speaking of impact, one chick gets a bus sandwich served up old style. OK, no more. You’re simply going to watch this one to see for your own bus-faced self.