Archive for grad students

Ice Bugs – Heat ’n Eat

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Deep Freeze

Deep Freeze (2003), also known as Chillers. Also known as Ice Crawlers. Also known as Crapsicle. No matter how many times they change the title, it’s still double lame sci-fi with no original thought given to script, dialogue, acting or special monster effects designed to make you forget all of the above.

Deep Freeze

A group of grad students are flown to the Antarctica (dumb name – there are no ants there) to figure out why the oil-drilling sub-station is experiencing earthquakes.

Deep Freeze

One bright chick student with “Welcome to McDonald’s drive-thru—may I take your order?” written all over her post-college face insists the entire continental plate is being compromised due to one five-foot drill bit. What we know that everyone else doesn’t is that a creature (or creatures) is making the whole place do the big pee shiver.

Deep Freeze

Mix in a frozen plot to blow up the place because they didn’t find any oil. The plan is to blame it on the inexperienced college students so that the corporation funding this train wreck can collect the insurance and bring back an over-sized Trilobite (prehistoric bed bug) to market as the “archaeological find of the Century.” Meanwhile, not one but two Trilobites skitter undetected around the outpost, eating people.

Deep Freeze

By the time this is figured out, most everyone has been chowed upon. Just when you think it can’t get any worse…it does. Up from the depths comes Momma Trilobite, roughly the size of three or four igloos stacked crookedly on top of each other.

Deep Freeze

Mom doesn’t do anything except screech and wiggle her limbs. This buys the token foreign guy just enough time to set the explosive charge and turn everyone into Trilo-bites (heh).

Oh, sure – the bomb shut down the station, but it couldn’t shut off my TV.

Mutated Frozen Burritos

Posted in Aliens, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Harbinger Down

Harbinger is defined as anything that foreshadows a future event. For example – you eat a few 7-Eleven Truckstopper™ microwave burritos and a bathroom is a foreshadowed conclusion.

Another Harbinger is a boat in the upcoming horror/sci-fi thriller, Harbinger Down (2015), involving mutated sea creatures and global warming. (Look for Harbinger Down on VOD and limited theaters on August 7, 2015, as well as a commerical release on September 1, 2015.)

Harbinger Down

So how did the Harbinger encounter such boat-stopping creatures? Glad you asked politely: “A group of grad students have booked passage on the fishing trawler Harbinger to study the effects of global warming on a pod of Orcas in the Bering Sea. When the ship’s crew dredges up a recently thawed piece of old Soviet space wreckage, things get downright deadly.”

Harbinger Down

“It seems that the Russians experimented with tardigrades, tiny resilient animals able to withstand the extremes of space radiation. The creatures survived, but not without mutation. Now the crew is exposed to aggressively mutating organisms. And after being locked in ice for three decades, the creatures aren’t about to give up the warmth of human companionship.”

Harbinger Down

Pffft – the warmth of human companionship can be found in any bottle of the good stuff, the cheaper the better. Still, I like the idea that a bunch of grad students, who are bottom-dwellers on the human companionship scale, are likely to be devoured alive, like some sort of human Truckstopper™ burritos.

Man, I’m easily entertained/fed.

P.S. Do not confuse Harbinger Down with Beast of the Bering Sea (2013). That one had sea vampires in it. Same location, though.

Beast of the Bering Sea