Archive for Gary Busey

Sucking Succubus

Posted in Evil, Scream Queens, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Succubus: Hell Bent

A couple of spoiled rich dudes go to Cabo (though they later tell police it was Cancun), where they score chick after chick with some of the worst pick-up lines ever uttered.

Succubus: Hell Bent

One such chick is so hot as to be a Succubus, a demonic entity that has humpty hump with you and then kills your. sex drive – permanently. The guys bail the next day without even saying, “Well it was certainly nice to have unsafe intercourse with you, Ms. Succubus – hope you don’t have to wait long for that succu-bus to take you home.”

Succubus: Hell Bent

This makes Succ-y mad. So she follows them back to L.A. and becomes an mega psycho bitch and kills those whom the “dine-n-dash” lover is close to. Interesting premise, but any guy with a psycho-ex is quite familiar with that kind of horror.

Succubus: Hell BentProblem #2: Succubus: Hell Bent (2007)  was written and directed by a chick, which means nudity is extremely limited.

Problem #3: They really shouldn’t let the actors write their own dialogue.

Problem #4: Way too long at an hour and a half. Then again, it’d be way too long at six minutes.

Problem #5: The director put her favorite band in the club scene and gave them way too much screen time. They suck more than the Succubus.

Problems #6 through #43: The special effects. (Succ Succ’s wings are so obviously wax paper, they have to blur them out so you don’t notice) are horribly outdated (think Netscape 3).

Lorenzo Lamas, David Keith and Gary Busey (as a heavy metal demon fighter) have bit parts, but watching them is as painful as watching this movie. They should’ve made Busey the monster because he’s scarier than anything to come from the depths of Hell. And that’s a compliment.

Gary Busey

Celebrity Sharks

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

You know when you hear the same joke too many times, it’s just not funny anymore? Put the upcoming Sharknado: The 4th Awakens in that category. Yeah, they’re doing YET ANOTHER one. And it’s not even about the sharks anymore, but rather a cameo showcase for a ton of generally unemployable celebrities. Kinda like Hollywood Squares with splatter.

Sharknado 4th goes like this: “The events takes place five years after the East Coast was ravaged in last summer’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) Fin, his family, and the cosmos have been blissfully sharknado-free in the intervening years, but now sharks – and ‘nados! – are being whipped up in places (and ways) least expected.”

Sounds like all they did was change the title.

Of the unending cast of consumables is Motley Crue’s Vince Neil (he quit his day job), Corey Taylor from Slipknot (he wears a mask as a career all the time – how do we know it’s the real Corey?), Gary Busey (still scarier than any shark that ever existed), and Cheryl Tiegs (old supermodels still need to work).

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens releases July 31, 2016. There’s still time for you to get a spot in the movie. Everybody else is doing it.