Archive for Foreighn Horror

Pet Monsters, Human Monsters, Religious Monsters

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Okja

The neighborhood had one of those community garage sales the other day. it’s always fun to rummage through other people’s crap. Hit pay dirt, though, when I found a box of ‘80s horror movies on VHS tape for .25 cents each.

I was so happy until I got home and realized I don’t have a VHS player. Sigh. Might as well go listen to that box of 8-tracks I also scored for about the same price and… Oh, crud; I don’t have an 8-track player, either. There’s $2.00 I’ll never see again.

On that Einstein note, here are some upcoming horror/sci-fi that may or may not be worth .25 cents to watch…

OKJA (June 28, 2917/Netflix)
“For 10 idyllic years, young Mija has been caretaker and constant companion to Okja – a massive animal and an even bigger friend – at her home in the mountains of South Korea. But that changes when the family-owned multinational conglomerate Mirando Corporation takes Okja for themselves and transports her to New York, where image obsessed and self-promoting CEO Lucy Mirando has big plans for Mija’s dearest friend.”

Sounds like a re-imagineering of King Kong/Mighty Joe Young. And looking at the giant creature’s silhouette (is that a French word? Sure the heck seems like it is), it probably eats about 100 pounds of food per meal. At first glance I thought it was a hippo. But when was the last time you saw a hippo on a leash? That’s like putting a turtleneck sweater on a  giraffe.

The Monster Project

THE MONSTER PROJECT (2017)
“A recovering drug addict takes a job with a documentary crew who plans to interview three subjects who claim to be real life monsters.”

Sounds cool. Although what kind of monsters are they? Day vampires? Half moon werewolves? Republicans? Noisy neighbors who won’t quit making noise no matter how much I pound on the ceiling?

A Closer Walk With Thee

A CLOSER WALK WITH THEE (2017)
“Four young evangelical missionaries set up a house church in inner-city Los Angeles to try and save the neighborhood from a Satanist gang. Jordan is a good Christian kid, except that he’s starting to have impure sexual thoughts about his close friend and fellow missionary Eli. When he’s caught watching Eli shower, he is outed to the group and painfully ostracized – until Eli, who happens to be a fledgling exorcist, suggests that a demonic possession might be causing these Jordan’s feelings. Jordan begins to enact signs of possession, prompting Eli to take action. What begins as a ritualistic method of trying to save their friendship quickly spirals out of control and descends into darkness and violence.”

Only a religious nutbag would think homosexuality is a sign of demonic possession. The irony here is that the “fledgling exorcist” is probably gay himself. Gay people don’t need to be exorcised, but religious freaks do.

Summer of '84

SUMMER OF ‘84 (2017/2018)
“Growing up on a quiet cul-de-sac in Ipswich, Massachusetts, Davey’s desperate to believe there’s more to life than what he sees from his bedroom window. But Davey thirsts for more. As their investigation heats up, Davey and his best buds soon discover Mr. Mackey is onto them and their suspicions quickly become all too real.”

The pre-production artwork reveals that there’s a serial killer living in the neighborhood. I bet he doesn’t mow his lawn, but rather hacks it. Heh. For a superior and hard-to-watch serial killer in the neighborhood movie, watch The Lovely Bones (2009). You’ll probably need counseling afterward. Or a hug.

Death Trees

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , on July 1, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Forest of Death

A forest in Japan is a popular place to go for a picnic, do some sight-seeing, hiking, and committing suicide. A television crew reports on the woods, sensationalizing the “do-it-yourself” killings by implying the forest is haunted. It is, but that’s beside the point.

Elsewhere, a gorgeous detective (female – I should’ve clarified) is hot on the trail of a guy whom she believes raped and murdered a girl in that very same tree compound.

Forest of Death

With no physical evidence she can’t prove the crime and therefore must let the smug thug run wild and free. That is, until a botanist discovers plants can not only communicate, but are capable of recording emotions. And tree-huggers the world over rejoice.

Re-enacting the crime before a crowd of reporters, machines with wires are hooked up to the surrounding flora and the experiment begins. Nothing happens. The criminal starts laughing so hard he triggers an emotional response within the trees. Leaves fall and when they touch you, give flashbacks of the crime as if videotaped. The killer has no choice but to confess. But it’s not over yet.

Forest of Death

The forest experiences earthquakes and mysterious mist that spews forth fog ghosts with red glowing eyes. We’re told that the spirits won’t harm anyone who wants to live, but that they’re curious over anyone who comes there to take their life. (A search of the forest yields dozens of bodies, pretty much dead.)

Forest of Death (2007) goes on to explain there are forests of death (hence the movie’s title) such as this all over the world, and that thousands go missing in them each year. Fine by me. I’d rather stay inside and not get emotion leaves all over my shirt.

Forest of Death

P.S. Just so you don’t go getting any ideas, there is a real “forest of death” in Japan, called Aokigahara. The woods have a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a popular place for suicides. So, like, don’t go there and do that.