Archive for fetus

Inappropriate Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Aliens

The crew of a cheesy, paranormal TV show in London goes to a remote island farm in Wales to investigate the claims that a young woman and her boyfriend were abducted by aliens, where she was knocked up and returned to her home with two inbred bothers and a dad who can’t speak a lick of any language.

Evil Aliens

Even though the aliens implanted her with a space fetus with chompy teeth two weeks ago, she’s about to give birth any day now. (Her boyfriend didn’t fare so well as his business class was power probed with a drill. That must’ve pinched.)

Evil Aliens

Once at the farm, which is situated near Stonehenge-like rock structures called Devil’s Teeth, the crew go about re-enacting the abduction. Then the real aliens show up. From this point it turns into a gleeful splatterfest unlike anything you’ve seen since the genre-bending Dead Alive (1992).

There are UFOs, cattle mutilations, three-boobed female aliens, sexual intercourse (both of this Earth and not of this Earth), lots of f’n swearing, alien dogs, alien death orbs, arms, legs and heads torn off, shotgun blasts to the face, bow and arrows to the neck, death by wheat thrasher and weed whacker. And there’s not just gallons of blood, but swimming pools of it. This just keeps going on and on, and it’s freakin’ hilarious.

Evil Aliens

Evil Aliens (2005) is smart, gory and goofy, which is why I wade through miles of rancid horror movie garbage while breathing through my mouth, just so I can find ones like this.

Black and White Ghosts

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 28, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

Ju-On: White Ghost/Black Ghost (2009) is two films (eighth and ninth) in the successful but ground-into-the-ground Ju-On/Grudge horror movie franchise. There are 11 such movies, 12 if you include the crossover mash-up Sadako vs. Kayako having been released in Japan on June 18, 2016. The only thing that sucks worse than 12 movies featuring pretty much the same theme/ghost creature(s), is not being able to see it. (SvK is only available in Japan with no release plans as of yet for me to check it out. Those dicks.)

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

With Ju-On, meaning “curse” and/or “grudge”, a person (not me) can be infected by the touch of a revenge wadded spirit, all of whom look the same: pure white skin with long black ick hair and a creaky door hinge sound that emanates from a mouth held wide open. Spooky the first seven times, but not so much anymore.

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

White Ghost/Black Ghost is two tales of violent family happenings told out of sequence in character perspectives. Ingredients inlcude vengeance, violence and creaky door hinge mouth sounds. The “grudge” gets into the young uncle of a family: cute little niece, older sarcastic niece, mom, dad and loony tunes grandma. Uncle is pedophile weird and snaps once the grudge gets all up in his wheelhouse. He then quietly and wordlessly murders the entire family, several in f’d up gruesome ways.

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

How gruesome? In short segments, you see the before and aftermath of what happened. (Hard to keep track, especially with the sub-titles and the moving of lips while trying to read ’em). But once you see the deadly deeds, it all fits together like a pain puzzle at the end with everything visually explained. (One in particular hard to watch.)

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

Same thing in Black Ghost. This time it’s a young girl who was supposed to be a twin, but was born solo. Seems the stronger fetus “assimilated” the weaker one, and absorbed what was to be her soul. Now, years later, the womb mate wants her turn in the spotlight. And thanks to their really hot young aunt with witch-y inclinations, she puts the “you” in uterus.

Ju-On: White Ghost Black Ghost

The exorcising segment is entertaining for two reasons: the unborn sister’s face pushing up through the host stomach (quite unintentionally funny), and the aunt making quick, protective hand motions over her niece’s body. Looked like she was trying to fling metaphysical peanut butter off her fingers. And what happens next is pure peanut butter hitting the fan.

Two ghost movies for the price of one, neither of which are particularly scary, but with enough harsh moments to make creaky door hinge sounds leak out of your yap.