Archive for Evil Dead

Evil Meets Rock, Military Mistakes, Stealing From The Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Kiss Army Darkness

The rock band KISS meets Ash from the Evil Dead in a new graphic comic books series, in KISS/Army of Darkness. Talk about a match-up of pay-per-view worthiness. Here’s from the press release…

KISS is on top of the world and rocking faces until the night disciples of The Destroyer show up and the band disappears. With the tour canceled, a young Ash misses one of the most important events of his life that will change his destiny. Now the Chosen One has to get back on the right path and join the KISS ARMY OF DARKNESS. The raging guitar chords and pyrotechnic spectacle of the KISS stage shows could have come straight from the pages of the Necronomicon, and this epic battle between The Demon and Deadites will appeal to the hellions in all of us!”

Kiss Army Darkness

They had me at rocking faces. The press release further tells us the series is being written by Chad Bowers and Chris Sims, with Ruairi Coleman providing the illustration. At this time I’d like to order 100 copies of the first issue when it comes out in February of 2018. And would it kill KISS to autograph every single one of them, personally made out to ME?

Until KISS finds a box of laundry markers, here are a few just release/upcoming and possibly graphic horror/sci-fi movies to help me/you/us while away the days…

The Doll

THE DOLL (available now)
“When Chris and Andy order a model from an escort service, they find that something is unnaturally wrong with Natasha, something deadly wrong.”

The girlfriend-for-rent is played by Valeria Lukyanova, that real life chick who, with the help of chestral implants and contact lenses, looks like a human Barbie doll. She appears to be in mint condition. But once she’s been taken out of the box, the collector’s value drops by half.

The Rizen

THE RIZEN (JANUARY 2, 2018/VOD)
“The year is 1955. NATO and the Allied Forces have been conducting secret, occult experiments in a bid to win the Arms Race. They have finally succeeded, but what they have unleashed could tear our world apart. Now one woman must lead the only other two survivors past faceless horrors that threaten to kill or capture them at every turn. They are the only ones left who can fight to close a door that should never have been opened.”

Army experiments or paranormal zombies? Probably both, since the military has been known to dabble in Ouija boards and Magic 8-balls, which is what we used to win the war. Those things are badass.

The New Mutants

THE NEW MUTANTS (April 13, 2018)
“Five young mutants, just discovering their abilities while held in a secret facility against their will, fight to escape their past sins and save themselves.”

Is it me, or is everyone getting tired of X-Men type movies? Or maybe I’m just jealous that everybody’s a mutant except me. Probably both.

The Bone Box

THE BONE BOX (2018)
“Depressed and reeling from the recent death of his wife, Tom has built up quite a gambling debt. He goes to stay with his wealthy Aunt Florence in hopes that she will write him into her will. When a nasty creditor makes it clear that Tom is out of time, he devises a plan with Elodie, the undertaker’s daughter, to rob the graves of the rich townspeople buried in the cemetery across the road. After plundering the graves, Tom begins hearing and seeing strange things that seem to coincide with the deaths of the people he robbed. Even more disconcerting, he appears to be the only one sensing the occurrences. One question lingers: Is Tom’s conscience playing a trick on him — or is he really being haunted by those he stole from?”

Yeesh — you DO NOT want to steal from the dead. They can see what you do in the bathroom and then tell the other dead people. You DO NOT want the deceased laughing at you. First, it doesn’t sound like LOL-ing, but more of a “I’ll Kill Yoooouuu” freaky shriek. This is why comedians don’t let dead people into their shows.

Medieval Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 22, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Army of Darkness

The tag line for the awesomely hilarious Army of Darkness (1993) says it best: “Trapped in time, surrounded by evil, low on gas.” That’s gosh-darned funnier than all heck.

Army of Darkness

Ash gets sucked into a swirly time portal after battling the evil dead in Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987). He and his 1973 Oldsmobile are dropped from the sky into a back in time land currently being plagued by, yep, more evil dead.

Army of Darkness

Having lost his hand by his own hand (heh) in Evil Dead 2 and having replaced it with a chain saw, Ash reluctantly joins forces with the local king to battle the dead after Ash himself accidentally invokes them. See, Ash’s only way home is with the Necronomicon, a demonic book whose cover is made of human flesh (instead of preferred edible cardboard).

Army of DarknessHe has to go into the fog-shrouded Land of the Dead to get it, utter an incantation (which he hilariously screws up), and then haul future buttock back to the castle to say his click your heels three times goodbyes.

Army of Darkness

The Deadites (great name) want their book back, Ash is stuck, and everyone hates his guts. This thing is loaded with awesome evil dead demons, a ton of Three Stooges pratfalls, and an endless stream of classic Ash retorts: “Hail to the King, baby!,” “Gimme some sugar, baby,” and the timelessly brilliant: “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up…”

Ash/Bruce Campbell is the Marlon Brando of all things evil and dead.

Phantasm Ravager Has Big Balls

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Godzilla, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Phantasm Ravager

You know how life totally sucks and then every once in a while something comes along to make things not so totally sucky? The announcement that not only is there a new Phantasm movie, but that it’s already done and gearing for release, is one of those somethings.

Filming completely off the radar, Phantasm Ravager (cool flippin’ title) is the fifth and final Phantasm movie, one of the coolest horror franchises ever. How they did this without anyone blabbing all over the Internet is almost as astonishing as the sequel itself, of which promises us the biggest sphere of all. (Think Godzilla-sized pinball.)

Phantasm Ravager

Phantasm, released in 1979, pitted an ice cream truck driver and friends against the Tall Man, the iconic otherworldly undertaker that robs graves and takes the dead bodies into his dimension, squishes the corpses into hooded zombie dwarves, and brings them back to life. And why does the Tall Man do this? To take over the world. Duh.

Phantasm Ravager

And Reggie Bannister, the ice cream truck driver? Easily right up there with Ash of the Evil Dead series as a regular guy going against horrific, apocalyptic and supernatural throw-downs, all the while getting in a few good one-liners and driving a seriously cool car – a 1971 Plymouth Barracuda. (The ice cream truck was pretty cool, too, especially since it’s refrigerated – heh.)

1971 Plymouth Barracuda

So what’s the deal with Phantasm Ravager? Still stars Reggie, our fav hero. Still stars the original Tall Man. Still written by original writer/direction Don Coscarelli. Still features those insane flying chrome spheres that sprout Swiss Army knife sharp things that drill into your face and pump out the yellow goo that used to be your thought goo.

Phantasm Ravager

And just when is Phantasm Ravager scheduled for release? Got bumped out to 2016, probably because they needed more ball polish. Okay, that didn’t sound right.

P.S. Here’s your binge homework for the week: Phantasm (1979), Phantasm II (1988), Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994), and Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998).