Archive for Eiffel Tower

Earth Must be Stopped

Posted in Aliens, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Day the Earth Stopped

Remember The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951/2008)? Well, this time it stopped altogether. No loitering for this planet, just a complete and utter dead halt.

I could end my overview of The Day The Earth Stopped (2008) right here, but there may be one or two of you who never listen when I tell them movies that are quick knock-offs of other — and better — flicks, suck the big [insert your choice of disparaging proper noun here].

The Day The Earth Stopped

A battalion of spaceships pull up to Earth and park their giant destructo robots in areas all over the world. Six hundred and sixty-six of ’em to be exact, though you only get to see one.

Two aliens — a naked young man with zits on his face, and a nude 30-something woman with heavy eye shadow and thick lip gloss (from the “Hot Uranus Nights” weekend collection) — are captured by the Army and interrogated.

The Day The Earth Stopped

Turns out Earth has been pissing off all the other planets, and it’s time to kiss our arrogant fannies goodbye. That is, unless we can show them a reason for sparing our lives…by sundown. Unfortunately, the giant robots start blasting, wrecking an innocent Ferris wheel and shooting the top off the Eiffel Tower. France probably deserved it.

The lesson learned? Don’t watch cheap knock-off “sci-fi” movies like this anymore. But like touching a hot stove burner, I’ll probably do it again.

French Werewolves

Posted in Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

An American Werewolf in Paris

Though similar and misleading in title, An American Werewolf in Paris (1997) is NOT a sequel to the far superior An American Werewolf in London (1981). Double shame upon them for tricking us. OK, tricking me. Hey, I take the bait when others won’t, so up yours, “smarter than me” people.

Three U.S. college grads go to France to bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower (illegal for some reason) and end up saving a supermodel who was trying to commit air-to-ground suicide because she’s a werewolf.

An American Werewolf in Paris

One of the guys falls for her as she was falling to her death. Poetic. The girl, still distraught over still having to shave her legs, runs away without so much as a thank you or a complimentary boob flash. That’s the French for you.

An American Werewolf in Paris

Later, the boys go to the well-attended social function (booze and disco party) in an old building. Once inside the door is barricaded behind them and the French-party throwers turn into werewolves and eat the imported cuisine.

An American Werewolf in Paris

Before this happens, the love-smitten guy is hurried away by the previously rescued chick through stinky underground Parisian tunnels filled with rats and recycled croissants. The race is on to stop the bad werewolves from eating more Americans and to get a taste ’o that French pastry bouncing around the blouse of the gal the “in love” dude’s been chasing throughout the entire movie.

An American Werewolf in Paris

Amusing horror action and dumb comedy bits, but the real problem here is the werewolves. Digitally created, you get the impression you’re in a video game being gnawed upon by a level boss. And the boobies are both bare and hairy. One of those I do not prefer.