Archive for eel

The Tooth Is Out There

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Razortooth

The Razortooth in Razortooth (2006) is actually an overgrown eel with sharp mouth utensils. Genetically tampered with, the creature’s altered DNA gives it a highly aggressive attitude and a voracious tapeworm. (Seems odd that an eel would have a tapeworm, but there you go.)

Razortooth

This particular mutation comes out of the Florida Everglades to gulp down tasty members of a small community that, up until today, lived and thrived along the swampy waterways. The body count is extraordinarily high, with each meal going down like before-dinner mints. Heads, torsos, arms, legs, butts — if it can fit in Razortooth’s mouth, it’s snack time.

Razortooth

Raz T comes up through outhouse sittin’ holes (ick), from under houses (makes sense, since it has no hands with which to turn doorknobs), and slithers like a snake on Ecstasy at a rave in search of flavors. Hard to tell how big the monster is as it goes from 6 feet to 15 feet in every other segment.

Razortooth

Lots of blood and half-eaten bodies, although given how much Raz eats in just a few hours, I’m surprised he doesn’t have people belly. In fact, he looks downright slim and in beach shape. Either his digestive system is set on high, or it’s all fake. I’ll have to get back to you on my findings.

The Farmer’s Zombie Daughter

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Maggie

The Terminator himself – Arnold Schwarzenegger – in a cannibalistic zombie movie? The fudge you say. And yet, it’s fudgin’ true, I tell you.

Starring in Maggie (releasing May 8, 2015), a horror movie about a Midwestern farmer whose daughter slowly turns into the aforementioned flesh-eater, Arnold has to figure out how to TERMINATE (heh) the problem.

Maggie

Co-starring is Abigail Breslin as the zomb-teen. You may remember her as Mel Gibson’s five-year-old daughter in the crop circle movie, Signs (2002). Now she’s grown impressively into her shirt if you catch my driftings.

Joely Richardson also stars. She’s the hot red-head who was in Loch Ness in 1996. That had the Loch Ness Monster in it as well as Ted Danson. He’s kind of a monster.

Loch Ness Monster

So I’m wonderin’ how Arnold’s farm daughter came down with zombieitis? One might surmise being bitten by a cow getting revenge after all its brethren society has eaten. Or maybe she touched icky farm stuff, rubbed her eyes, and then came down with hay fever (heh). I’m hoping it’s the cow.

Man, I am all over the road today.