Venomous Coffee, Demon Soul-Sucker, Biker Biters

What instead of you drinking coffee or discount vodka from your favorite mug, the mug drinks from you? That’s the genius behind Moldy Mugs, a series of handcrafted and expertly designed (by Joe Rowles) horror drinking cups (ranging from 12 oz. to 17 oz.).

While these mugs carry a hefty price ($90.00 for a the 12 oz. version), how flippin’ cool would it be to wrap your coffee/discount vodka sucking mouth hole around one of these magnificent hand-washable art pieces?

While you FINISH READING this blog, click HERE to visit Moldy Mugs — featuring their new Venom™ entry — and get ready to have the life sucked out of you for a change. In the meantime, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not transport you the way discount vodka never fails to do…

ANOTHER SOUL (available now)
“Megan cannot stop the nightmares. Her parents, Rob and Susan, are at their wit’s end. When a couple suggest Megan’s soul may be the target of a soul-hungry demon, the family find themselves in a battle for Megan’s life.”

Megan rhymes with Regan, another young girl the target of an evil entity about 45 years ago. So would this be a rip-off 1973’s The Exorcist, but with higher-def projectile vomiting? Of the 23 possible answers, The Magic 8-Ball™ says, “Signs point to yes.”

DOWN A DARK HALL (August 17, 2018)
“Kit, a difficult young girl, is sent to the mysterious Blackwood Boarding School run by eccentric headmistress Madame Duret. While exploring the labyrinthine corridors of the school, Kit and her classmates discover that Blackwood Manor hides an age-old secret rooted in the paranormal.”

I liked it better when it was called Suspiria (Italy, 1977).

HOWLERS (2018)
“A mysterious monster hunter from the Old West who returns from the grave to stop a bloodthirsty werewolf motorcycle gang from terrorizing a small town.”

Not a new concept. Anyone remember the cult schlock classic Werewolves on Wheels (1971)? If you don’t, your mom does.

WEST OF HELL (2018)
“A gunslinger and a vengeful ex-slave board a midnight train to Atlanta. They discover that the train is haunted by a sinister force…and may not be headed to Atlanta after all.”

Yep, they got on the train to New Jersey by accident.

Bat Ticker, Lighthouse Ghosts, Horror Hillbillies

If you hate super villains and hate being late, you can solve both problems by picking up a limited edition Batman-themed watch.

Designed by watchmaker Romain-Jerome, this must-have timepiece features a glowing Bat-Signal and a meticulous reproduction of a map of Gotham City cut into the rear sapphire glass. Powie! R-J also makes other Batman themed watches including the DNA, which is described as being “a denser, more Dark-Knight-style timepiece.”

There’s a few things you should know about this watch: It’s production is limited to 75 and costs $19,500. I’d buy it (with a post-dated check), but I’m used to wasting time, not keeping track of it.

While you’re thinking about hitting up Bruce Wayne for a down payment on the watch, here are a few just-released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not punch your clock…

LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER (available now)
“Marooned on a remote peninsula and haunted by frightening specters, a young man must confront the grotesque denizens of the night, or heed the Lighthouse Keeper’s cryptic warning to, ‘Always keep a light burning!’”

This one’s based on the 1849 Edgar Allen Poe story, “The Light-House.” Didn’t know they had books back then. (I have a TV like normal people.) Lighthouse Keeper features ghosts and maybe a transparent clam or two, but no octopus creatures, which Poe sometimes favored (i.e., Cthulhu). The special effects are cheesy enough as to be the snacks you’d eat while watching it.

B.R.A.I.N.S. (available now/MidnightPix.com)
“It is October 5, 1957 and with the Soviet launch of Sputnik-1, The Space Race has begun. Rogue Air Force General Frank Chapman is determined to establish a military base on the Moon before the Russians. Using Nazi mad science, headed by Dr. Werner Brandt, General Chapman has outfitted a modified German V-2 rocket with a nosecone capsule just large enough for a human head. The cephalic pilot will guide the rocket on a one-way lunar mission — beating the Commies to the Moon!”

A space head flying a rocket to the moon. There is nothing about this I do not like. B.R.A.I.N.S. is also said to include from some of the greatest cult genre movies ever, like 1962’s The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (another talking head movie) and The Last Man On Earth (1964). Could it be any more awesome?

KYRSYÄ: TUFTLAND (2018)
“Balancing between a failed relationship, uninspiring studies and financial problems, headstrong student Irina finds herself stuck in the modern rat race. To overcome her problems she decides to accept an unusual summer job offer at the secluded and self sufficient village of Kyrsyä. As Irina begins to get a grip of herself in the middle of the endless Finnish forest, the supposedly harmless hillbillies begin to reveal their true nature.”

Hillbillies, even Finnish ones, are the furthest thing from harmless as you can get. These mountain hippies all look like ZZ Top, drink booze made out of homemade gasoline and have personal hygiene that would make Bigfoot’s eyes water. Warning: All hillbillies are accompanied by banjo music.

DOWN A DARK HALL (2017/2018)
“Kit Gordy, a new student at the exclusive Blackwood Boarding School, confronts the institution’s supernatural occurrences and dark powers of its headmistress.”

A boarding school with supernatural occurrences and a headmistress with dark powers? Man, that sounds familiar. Can’t quite put my finger on it, so I’ll ponder while watching a Harry Potter movie.

P.S. No movie poster yet, so I used the book cover from author Lois Duncan, whose best-selling book this movie is adapated from. You’re quite welcome, Lois.