Archive for DNA

Aliens, Extraterrestrials, Space Brothers

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Fifty Shades of Greys

Besides being a well-researched book on extraterrestrial visitations and the infamous the Roswell Incident (UFO ran a red light, crashed, and we put the alien driver in jail and denied bail) and beyond, it’s the title that’s pretty dang clever: Fifty Shades of Greys. Man, that’s funny because greys are what we call aliens, probably because they look so depressed all the time.

Fifty Shades of Greys

Written by Raymond Szymanski, a retired Air Force Engineer, the 2016 book claims that the UFOs and aliens from the outrageous 1947 Roswell Incident were brought to the Wright – Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio to be examined and kept in obscure covered passageways. That’s a pretty bold proclamation. An Air Force base in Dayton, Ohio, home of Orville Wright, the guy who invented UFOs? Mr. Szymanski — you just hit pay dirt.

Another coincidence, then, that we’re being invaded with movies and documentaries of our depressed space brothers. Here are a few just released sci-fi movies and UFO documentaries to give you a few more shades of greys…

Aliens: Zone of Silence

ALIENS: ZONE OF SILENCE (available now)
“After her brother vanishes from the Mexican desert, a young woman sets out to uncover the truth about his disappearance. When she discovers an extraterrestrial presence, she must risk her life to expose the desert’s otherworldly secret.”

An almost note-for-note rip-off of The Phoenix Incident (2015), The Phoenix Tapes ’97 (2016) and Phoenix Forgotten (2017). Despite the plagiarism, the fact this is YET ANOTHER found footage flick should make you wanna better spend your time elsewhere, like abducting beers.

Alien Contact: Outer Space

ALIEN CONTACT: OUTER SPACE (available now)
Many people think of Space as a quiet and desolate vacuum of emptiness, but new evidence reveals that space is rife with activity beyond our comprehension. Just as we sent Voyager and Pioneer probes beyond our solar system, aliens have probes of their own that may have arrived as early as the 1600’s. While Tesla was the first to successfully communicate with neighboring worlds using radio waves, we have received recent signals from intelligent sources. In 1989, Russian Space Probe Phobos 2 photographed a UFO on the surface of Mars just prior to losing contact. Scientists have determined that the craft was real and of a thin elliptical shape over 20 miles in length. We are not alone in outer space and while the aliens may be initiating contact, they could also be here already.”

Seems to me if aliens wanted to contact us they would just send us an IM on Spacebook™ or something. Or maybe its because they haven’t found intelligent life here on Earth worth talking to. That’s probably it.

E.T. Contact: They Are Here

E.T. CONTACT: THEY ARE HERE (available now)
E.T. Contact: They Are Here documents the jaw-dropping stories of individuals from around the world who share similar accounts of extraterrestrial and otherworldly encounters. Through a series of groundbreaking on-camera experiments on human DNA, and interviews with leading scientists, viewers will find themselves pondering the nature of their own reality or yet the true origin of the human species. E.T. Contact may ultimately show that the traditionally unexplained is, in fact, far more attributable to science than fiction.”

The trailer for this one is pretty funny as it features straight-faced academics supporting the belief of extraterrestrials’ existence and, by extension, their frequent visitations to learn how our back doors work. Take heed, space brother; I just ate a Taco BellFiery Doritos Locos Taco Supreme™.

Alien Convergence

ALIEN CONVERGENCE (available now)
“When flying reptilian aliens begin to take over the world, the remaining survivors must band together and fight back with newly developed fighter jets.”

Aliens can fly? Well dang — that makes ’em even cooler than first thought. Aside from complexion, wondering, though, how this differs from Flying Monkeys (2013)?

Animal People

Posted in Classic Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 28, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Twilight People

A mad scientist (okay, not really mad, but maybe a bit peeved) lives on an island where he’s been experimenting turning humans into animals, or “manimals.” Sound familiar? It should — Twilight People (1972) is an unintentionally cheesy second attempt at adapting the 1896 H.G. Wells’ novel, The Island of Dr. Moreau, the first swing being Island of Lost Souls in 1932. (Note to manimals: Dr. Moreau was remade two more times — in 1977 and yet again in 1996, both with equally laughable results.)

Twilight People

Professionally handsome Matt Farrell was out skin diving when he’s caught and pulled out of the sea like the catch of the day. He’s brought to an island where Dr. Gordon, in a huge mansion with spare dungeon, has been making animal/human hybrids to create a super race to outlive Earth’s eventual demise via war, pollution and 7-ElevenTruckstopper microwave burritos. Gordon’s plan is to use Matt’s physical and intellectual superiority to advance his medical aspirations.

Twilight People

Assisting Dr. Gordon is Neva, his supermodel daughter, who falls under the spell of Matt’s overpowering handsomeness. But Gordon’s henchmen, led by the cocky, gun-happy Steinman (even his name sounds arrogant), wants Matt shot in his good looks.

Twilight People

The animals are the real stars, though. There’s a panther woman, an antelope man, a bat man, an ape man, a wolf woman and a tree woman, Gordon’s first attempt at combining plant DNA with a human. The result? Oops.

Twilight People

An epic chase scene wraps things up when Matt and Neva escape with the manimals while Steinman pursues with meaningful gunfire. The fun explodes when the hybrids, now released back into the wild, do what animals do — after a few pooper scooper moments, of course. Can you blame them?

Twilight People

The manimals fight back, ripping faces and throats while Matt and Steinman settle their differences. But it’s when Darmo the bat man regains his ability to fly that the movie — and his revenge on Dr. Gordon — is the money shot. The overhead dive bomb view is so classic, he could give pointers to gangsta seagulls.

P.S. You can be highly entertained by Twilight People on YouTube™ for free.

The Tooth Is Out There

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Razortooth

The Razortooth in Razortooth (2006) is actually an overgrown eel with sharp mouth utensils. Genetically tampered with, the creature’s altered DNA gives it a highly aggressive attitude and a voracious tapeworm. (Seems odd that an eel would have a tapeworm, but there you go.)

Razortooth

This particular mutation comes out of the Florida Everglades to gulp down tasty members of a small community that, up until today, lived and thrived along the swampy waterways. The body count is extraordinarily high, with each meal going down like before-dinner mints. Heads, torsos, arms, legs, butts — if it can fit in Razortooth’s mouth, it’s snack time.

Razortooth

Raz T comes up through outhouse sittin’ holes (ick), from under houses (makes sense, since it has no hands with which to turn doorknobs), and slithers like a snake on Ecstasy at a rave in search of flavors. Hard to tell how big the monster is as it goes from 6 feet to 15 feet in every other segment.

Razortooth

Lots of blood and half-eaten bodies, although given how much Raz eats in just a few hours, I’m surprised he doesn’t have people belly. In fact, he looks downright slim and in beach shape. Either his digestive system is set on high, or it’s all fake. I’ll have to get back to you on my findings.

The DNA of Horror

Posted in Evil with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Evil Gene

The Evil Gene is a new supernatural horror movie pending release 2015, and seeks to lift the lid and jiggle the handle on what makes bad people do even badder things unbecoming of socially-acceptable behavior outside of a bar. But as many attorneys over the years who have argued on behalf of their killer clients, they try to shift the blame on innocent demons that’ve taken up residence in the ’ol bent noodle.

So, yeah – The Evil Gene is a movie about possession, specifically that of the demonic persuasion. (Other types of possession include sweet refreshing alcohol, prescription drugs, and candy cigarettes.) And it’s up to science to provide a court-case study of this so-called “evil” gene.

The Evil Gene

Here’s what they’re selling us: “Scientists studying the DNA of mass murderers have discovered a rare gene, HSS-282, that they associate with violent, psychotic behaviors. Federal prison inmates possessing the gene have been isolated in a remote correctional facility for further observation and testing.”

The Evil Gene

“When an FBI Agent is sent to the secret government research facility to investigate a mysterious death, he begins to experience terrifying visions of his tragic past. Under the guidance of the prison priest, he becomes convinced that a demon is at work in the compound — while others become concerned about his increasingly erratic behavior and the inner ‘demons’ he has brought with him.”

Yep, he’s got the evil gene, no doubt. On that note, I knew a guy named Gene back in my pre-demonically possessed days. His nickname was “Evil.” (It’s a metal thing.) I don’t think Gene was legitimately evil, but he could be a real dick after six or seven party beers.

Spaghetti Made Yeti

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Snow Creature

Missing link movies got their start with Snow Creature in 1954. I wasn’t hatched yet, so had to wait quite a few years as DNA, then even more as an upright primate to see it. It was worth the wait as it turned me into a life-long fan of hairy creature movies.

Snapshots of Bigfoot

Since then there have been hundreds of movies or “films”, short films or “movies”, cameos, TV shows and endless documentaries about the Abominable Snowman/Yeti/ Bigfoot/Sasquatch, from the wretched (Shriek of the Mutilated/1974) and wacky (Six Million Dollar Man: The Return of Bigfoot Parts 1&2/1976), to the wistful (Letters from the Big Man /2011) and wild (Schlock/1973).

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

One of the more mind-boggling Bigfoot type movies ever is Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century (aka, Yeti – il gigante del 20. secolo), made in Italy in 1977. In this one a several story tall missing link is discovered encased in a huge block of ice and transported back to civilization – or “Toronto” – in the biggest telephone booth in the world, chained to helicopters. (Note to younger readers: the telephone booth was a sort of “sidewalk cellphone” you had to put physical money in to use.)

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

Taking his cue from King Kong, the monster dries off, breaks loose, grabs a chick, and goes all caveman on the town. This is caused in part by Jane, the only person who can communicate with the brute (she does this by talking s-l-o-w-l-y). She causes his fuzzy bikini area to get all fluffed up like his hair. With logically no chance of scoring, the only thing to do now is dismantle the city.

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

I could tell you what happens to Yeti/Toronto, but then you might not watch what could be the best – or worst – movie experience of your entire life. I’ll advise everyone to see Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century, because it’s not that often a film will leave you with your mouth hanging open.

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

Dinosaurs – Past and Present

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jurassic World

Jurassic World, the upcoming sequel is the ground-breaking Jurassic Park (1993), The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) and Jurassic Park III (2001), wherein prehistoric dinosaurs were regrown in a lab and let loose on a modern world. How did the scientists do this? I’m thinking some sort of magic. Regardless, manipulating the gooey dino DNA resulted in rather thrilling and surprisingly realistic sci-fi action.

The Lost World

Jurassic World, releasing June 2015 in one billion theatres, has some long lineage dating back to 1925 with The Lost World, the first dinosaur movie. I remember that year during regressive hypnotism. Sported short hair back then, which was the style of the times. I now have long hair because I don’t give a crap about the style of the times.

Fay Wray

But I do give a crap about dinosaur movies. (OK, that sounded a weird.) Are not rampaging dinosaurs the forefathers of guys like Godzilla, Gorgo and Reptilicus? If you watch The Lost World you can all but see a road map running through history that leads straight to contemporary mega box office monsters, most notably King Kong in 1933, which also gave birth to the first scream queen: Fay Wray. She was kinda hot. Wonder if she ever monkey’d around? Heh.

The Lost World

Before you go looking for The Lost World (hey, that’s kinda funny), you should know that this is a silent film. That means no audible screaming/cussing/crying/more cussing. Also, you’ll have to use your imagineering to make up dino roars. Think blowing into a tuba that’s filled with Drano™.

The Lost World

So Paula White, the daughter of missing famed explorer Maple White (named after syrup, one might surmise), brings dad’s journal to Professor Challenger (sounds like one of the X-Men) with proof that dinosaurs still exist – in Venezuela, of all places. A big time-y newspaper finances a “put it on the glass” expedition because hey, dinosaurs sell papers.

The Lost World

When the search party arrives, they encounter Bigfoot, heretofore referred to as “Ape-Man.” (Not very catchy. Grunt Grunt would be more suitable, I should think.) Grunt Grunt no like humans. Can’t say I blame him. But the explorers have bigger problems; they’re surrounded by battling beasts – an Allosaurus b*tch slaps an Edmontosaurus. A Tyrannosaurus delivers a slobber knocker to an Agathaumas, including a Pteranodon who should have kept his beak out of T-Rex’s Kool-Aid™.

The Lost World

Among the warring monsters, they find the leftovers of Maple. He was flattened like a pancake. (Heh.) No time to grieve – that volcano is belching up lava like last night’s Burrito El Grande Supreme. Before everyone can bail, they trap and capture an Apatosaurus and manage to get it in onboard their homeward bound (London) steamship. Turning fish into chips, all is well until they go to unload the boat and the darn dino escapes.

The Lost World

Romping and stomping across London Bridge, the beast’s El Grande Supreme weight causes the structure to go boom, thereby dumping Apatosaurus into whatever waterway runs underneath the bridge. Professor Challenger is sad. The monster swims away. FYI: There’s a highly unnecessary love triangle that ends in a big fat fail for one jilted Joe. The end.

So yeah, dinosaurs, past and present. I’m all in because hey, I give a crap.

Manufacturing Death

Posted in Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Death Factory

Most factories make nice things like boxes, flowers and/or puppies. This factory, however, makes a carbonated chemical that mutates the living. No, it’s not Bud Light™. Regardless, I would still like to work there.

Death Factory

An uptight female chemical maker worker gets her DNA in a knot and quits because this isn’t a cuddly animal-making chemical. Too bad she got infected with it before she quit. Her brain gone for a spin around the block on two wheels and transformed into a female Edward Scissorhands with pointy teeth and Goth hair, she makes her way back to the factory and kills everyone.

Death Factory

The place shuts down for some unknown reason. A few years later a bunch of college kids decide to party there because hey, chemicals! According to clichéd horror plot device #101, Deathy stalks the stupid college kids, who by virtue of being stupid college kids, have to die horrible and gory deaths. It’s in the school handbook. Higher education = lower IQs.

Death Factory

Nicely executed (sorry) gore, but Death Factory’s (2002) story line is so hack I could’ve directed it myself. Nice to see bare boobs filling up some plot holes, though. And Deathy is a well-designed creaturette. Too bad she didn’t kill the script writer.