Archive for Disney Channel

Snuff TV

Posted in Classic Horror, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Videodrome

Looking to get better ratings for his state-of-the-art UHF Canadian TV station, Max Renn, the station’s boss, decides that sex and violence simply isn’t enough. (Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)

Videodrome

So Max meets up with a guy who operates an illegal satellite dish that can intercept programming from different countries, ones that consider sex and violence nothing but Disney Channel™ fodder. But what he shows Max is a TV show from Malaysia that broadcasts real-life snuff footage. Score! Max believes this to be just what his station needs. (Bye-bye advertisers.)

Videodrome

But what Max doesn’t know is that the TV signal called Videodrome causes the viewer to get all surreal in the senses and hallucinate as if on illegal drugs. In other words, big time ratings, except its working on Max big time.

Videodrome

The gorgeous Deborah Harry of Blondie fame plays Nicki, a psychiatrist. Perfect choice for Max’s new concept of mind-bending television. He starts dating her and, after watching Videodrome, do naughty naked stuff in a rough and tumble manner. Better still, she wants to be on that show. Well heck, double score!

Videodrome

The big revelation (and not a spoiler) is that the TV signal isn’t being broadcast from Malaysia, but Pittsburgh. Once that’s discovered, Videodrome (1983) gets all futuristic punk rock crazy town, with Max having visions of his own flesh being turned into a weapon (there’s a gun in his stomach) and his TV exploding human guts ’n gunk out of the screen. His quotable last words before shooting himself with his tummy gun: “Long live the new flesh!” Preachin’ to the choir, Max.

Videodrome

There’s a Republican Big Brother aspect to all of this, with the real guy in charge trying to wipe out all of us TV watching lowlifes by giving us brain tumors via his channel. As if that hasn’t already happened by watching regular TV programming.

Chinese Beasts, G-Rated Zombies, Halloween Purge

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hanson and the Beast

Ever see a sci-fi/fantasy movie trailer that just messes with what’s left of your mind? Give the now-available via limited theatre release Hanson and the Beast (2018) a spin. From China (but now available in the States), HatB just came out several days ago (as of this e-barfing) and might just very well get the WTF award of the month, if not year.

Hanson and the Beast

From the press release: “Yuan Shuai, a debt-ridden animal-breeder, tries to get out of his financial predicament by finding a wealthy girlfriend through matchmaking dates. He unexpectedly meets and fall in love with the fox demon, Bai Xianchu, who has arrived to the mortal realm to repay her gratitude. However, the head of the Demon tribe Yun Zhonghe forbids a love relationship between a demon and a human; and takes Bai Xianchu away. To seek his lover, Yuan Shuai bravely crashes the demonic world.”

Hanson and the Beast

Human/animal hybrids, pseudo vampires, rom-comedy, possible bestiality power smooching… Man, this sounds like a night out at The Poggie Tavern, besides the fact I didn’t understand a dang thing about it. Watch the trailer and see if you can figure it out. It’s pretty crazy and loaded with WTF. P.S. No one named Hanson in the movie as far as I can tell. Probably not a traditional Chinese name.

While we’re waiting for a non-subtitled version, here are  few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that you probably won’t have to read…

Diverge

DIVERGE (February 6, 2018)
“In the aftermath of a mysterious pandemic that’s turned cities into wastelands, a man desperately searches for a way to cure his ailing wife as she battles a deadly virus. When he is captured by a cryptic stranger, he is offered the chance to save not only his wife but the world.”

I thought our cities were already wastelands. As for a way to treat the guy’s sick spouse, liquor stores have to the cure to “whatever ALES you.” Heh. If I had a chance to save the world, though, I’d take a pass. But Uranus? I’ve got yer back, man. Okay, that came out all wrong.

Zombies

ZOMBIES (February 16, 2018/Disney Channel)
Seabrook is a suburban town obsessed with tradition, conformity, football, and cheerleading, but they’re in for a major shake-up when students from Zombietown transfer to Seabrook High and struggle to coexist alongside human students. When a fierce cheerleader, Addison, and zombie football star, Zed, become friends, they partner to help unite their school and community.”

Warning: This one is gonna show up on the Disney Channel, which means, no graphic gut-ripping rodeos or intestinal roping contests. And if you have the Disney Channel, why the h*ck are you reading this blog?

Annihilation

ANNIHILATION (February 23, 2018)
“A female biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition where the laws of nature don’t apply.”

Where’s she going — a Taco Bell™ restroom? I don’t care what scientists claim, the only Law of Nature that applies in Taco Bell™ is that what goes in must come out — and that result, paradoxically, is against the ALL the Laws of Nature.

Bad Apples

BAD APPLES (February, 2018)
“It’s Halloween night, and two ‘bad apples’ decide to play some wicked tricks on the one house in a suburban cul-de-sac that is not celebrating Halloween. They terrorize a young couple in their home and these tricks become increasingly more sinister as the night progresses, finally ending in a Halloween the entire neighborhood will never forget.”

Sounds like someone is handing out razor-filled avocados instead of the traditional spiked candy treats. That’d p*ss me off, too.