Archive for disco

The Horror of Exercising

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Death Spa

Someone or something is gruesomely canceling gym memberships for the patrons of Los Angeles’ hi-tech Starbody Health Spa, a sort of fitness, nightclub and disco playground where big hair and big muscles populate the landscape.

Death Spa

One fully naked gal is temporarily rendered blind by chlorine steam in the sauna. Another gal belly flops in a pool when the diving board mysteriously unbolts itself. A shower room occupied by super wet supermodels nearly get steam broiled in the locked locker room. A tanning bed turns into a human toaster. A woman gets her hand shredded off in a cocktail blender gone rogue. And a exercise machine literally rips a mullet-wearing guy in half. Feel the burn, then shake it off.

Death Spa

No one can figure out why this poser palace is going awry. Michael Evans, the club’s handsome owner, believes his ghost wife, who earlier doused herself with gasoline and did her impression of a car tire fire, is behind the mutilations/killings. He’s unfortunately right.

Death Spa

His wife’s suicide was never fully explained, but Micheal thinks it’s because she was with child, and then not. As she revenge returns from the grave (leaving typed messages on Mike’s computer, invading his dreams, using the gym’s facilities and skipping out on towel fees), she ends up possessing her brother, who works for Michael and blames him for his sister’s BBQ. Do your best to figure out what happens next.

Death Spa

1989’s Death Spa (aka, Witch Bitch) throws everything into the exercise program — choreographed disco dancing exercise classes, skin-tight work-out spandex, rampant full frontal nudity (a marketing ploy featuring perfectly fit bodies), day-glo clothes, stacked hair and gore scenes so bad, you almost wish they’d cut back to the disco classes. (Note: Disco has never not sucked.) You already know how this movie ends.

Death Spa

P.S. If you want to augment your disco horror fitness regime, watch 1987’s Killer Workout (aka, Aerobicide). Feel the burn, then shake it off.

Large And In Charge Halloween, Family Devils, Dancing Werewolves

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in, a fashion site specializing in clothing for plus-sized women, just came out with this season’s Halloween costume line. In your face, stupid body shamers!

Ladies, in any size/shape, are all Wonder Women — and Torrid even has the WW costume to back that up. You can also get cool Halloween-wear like Maleficent (complete with those sweet curvy horns), Spider-Girl (it’ll make the fellas web their pants), Voodoo Doll (guys — if you see a gal wearing this, you may start feeling a small prick), and the fashionable-year-’round Bat costume.

Torrid.comSo the next time you wanna make disparaging remarks about a woman’s looks and/or size, remember the irony — people who do this have fat heads.

Here are a few now available/upcoming horror/science fiction movies to give you something better to do…

Don't Let The Devil In

DON’T LET THE DEVIL IN (available now)
“After being relocated from the city to a small Appalachian town in order to oversea the development of a casino, Land Developer John Harris and his wife, previously warned there would be resentment within the community, soon find themselves entangled within a tapestry of pure evil that lurks within.”

Tapestry of pure evil. How can you resist a line like that? It’s right up there with “drapery of doom” and “a carpet of carnage.” Kinda makes me wanna give my apartment a makeover.

Bunnyman Vengeance

“The man known as Bunnyman returns home to find his family running a haunted house attraction. The family welcomes him home, but soon realizes you cannot domesticate a wild animal. Death and mayhem ensue as the family turn on one another to fulfill their bloodlust.”

The third in a trilogy of a serial killer wearing a dirty Easter bunny costume. Didn’t think they had two more in ’em after the first one. But hey, when is a slasher in a kill-stained bunny outfit not entertaining?

Dances With Werewolves

“Cassie flees an abusive relationship and falls victim to a moon-worshiping 600 year old Romanian Countess. A troubled paranormal investigator of Native American heritage finds himself in a deadly love triangle with a battered-woman werewolf.”

This title sure gets around: movies, books/adult fiction memoirs, paranormal crime paperbacks, animated cartoons, YouTube™ videos of werewolves dancing to The Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” mega disco hit… There’s even funny fake movie posters online riffing on Kevin Costner’s Dancing With Wolves 1990 movie. (He’s kinda convincing as a hunter of man-beasts.) But this one features Phantasm/horror icon Angus Scrimm in his last role before passing away in 2016 at the age of 89. You’re never too old to dance/do battle with werewolves.

Itsy Bitsy

Kara moves from New York to the quiet countryside with her two children for a job opportunity she can’t afford to turn down. The family moves into their humble new guesthouse. Kara begins her work as a private nurse to Walter, a man stricken with multiple sclerosis and an appraiser of rare antiquities with a secretive past. Doom precedes them. Akiba, a shady international associate of Walter’s, brings with him a mysterious relic of ancient origin. All too quickly they discover the relic contains more than just legends. Inside, waits a terrifying creature born of ancient darkness and pure instinct…a prehistoric cave spider unlike the modern world has ever seen.”

Spiders existed in prehistoric times? Stink beetles, sure. But eight-legged bugs? Sounds so made up. (This is what happens when you watch too many horror movies and your brain turns into oatmeal.) I hope the cave spider looks like/grows to the size of a dinosaur. I think dinosaurs may have existed in prehistoric times. Gonna have to click on something to verify. But not right now. For some reason I’m craving a bowl of oatmeal.

Keep Calm At The Prom

Posted in Classic Horror, Scream Queens, Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Prom Night

In 1980, Jamie Lee Curtis, hot off her box office bulls-eye with Halloween (1978) starred in Prom Night, a Halloween rip-off.

Prom Night

That’s just part of the bad news. The other part (are you sitting down?) is this is Disco Horror. Yep, the high school’s prom night featured disco music so that everyone could bust a move like those wiggling inflatable “dancing” balloon men. Who wouldn’t want to kill those people?

Prom Night

The killer whose been killing all those involved with the killing of Jamie Lee’s movie sister is pretty obvious. Hint: That deejay spinning those Donna Summer records looks like he’s about to cut someone’s head off and roll it across the dance floor and… I guess we won’t be hearing “Stayin’ Alive” any time soon.

Disco sucks. People that dance poorly to disco suck. Prom Night sucks.