Shark Treats, Island Vampires, Stupid Zombies

Three new official character posters for Meg 2: The Trench. (The one I posted on November 16, 2022 was a fan-made piece of crap.) Quick update in case you didn’t see The Meg back in 2018 — a megalodon shark, about the size of Florida, swims up from the bottom of the ocean for some screaming taste treats. Now, in Meg 2: The Trench, more megalodons and added hungry sea monsters come to the surface for — you guessed it — more screaming taste treats.

The opening scene in the trailer for Meg 2: The Trench shows a dinosaur being attacked and graphically consumed by a shore-breaching megalodon. From there it gets even more believable. There were 26 movie posters for The Meg, so these three are just the tip of the tooth. Meg 2: The Trench opens wide in theaters on August 4, 2023.

While we go get in line for the movie now (you want good seats, don’t you?), here are few out now horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not go down as easily as screaming taste treats…

RESURRECTED / Out now (VOD)

“The Catholic Church learns how to resurrect people. The whole process is kept secret and follows strict rules: only sinless believers under the age of 65 can be resurrected. The film is set on the computer of Stanley, an on-line church priest who helps those who were brought back to life. He is divorced and his son lives with his ex-wife, so he can chat with him only on-line. Stanley’s son was the first person to be resurrected after he died in a car accident that Stanley caused. Soon Stanley learns that there is a huge conspiracy behind the resurrection process.”

Just like the Catholic Church™ to impose a pile of strict rules in order to be brought back from the dead. I bet that Jesus guy got a free pass.

PULAU / Out now (VOD)

“The vacation of a group of youngsters turns into an endless horrifying nightmare after a losing bet forces them to spend a night on a deserted island. As they stumble upon a mysterious abandoned village, they accidentally break an old spell that was placed to restrain an antagonizing spirit trapped in the island. One by one, they are made to suffer the gripping and gruesome consequences of their mistakes, infuriating an evil creature that needs human blood to stay alive. The only way out is in the hands of a girl who desperately needs to use her supernatural gift to untangle an unsettling history connected to a tainted cross-cultural love story.”

Sounds like they happened upon one of those possible island vampires. They’re allergic to papaya, command a legion of monkey butlers and have to wear so much sunblock, they look like members of KISS.

TULAH 6/13 / Out now (VOD)

“Five teenagers who decided to go on vacation on June 13 before getting preoccupied with their final college assignments. But their beautiful vacation plans turned tense after the car they were driving was involved in a single accident. Gilang, who woke up alone in the car, tried to find his other four friends, but at the same time he received a barrage of terror that terrified him. These terrors made him remember his childhood trauma when he celebrated his birthday which falls on June 13th.”

The last time I received a barrage of terror that terrified me was walking into the Tug Tavern during speed dating night.

UNDEADUCATED / Out now (VOD)

“So, what might happen if you were stuck late at school when the zombie apocalypse happens? What’s going on? Is this all part of some twisted experiment the professor is conducting on the kids? Did the crazy cook do it? Will they see tomorrow?”

They just found a way to make zombie movies even worse.

Monster Brawl, Bedeviled Bluff, Sentient Body Parts

More teaser art for the upcoming six episode anime series Gamera: Rebirth on Netflix™ (sometime in 2023), with character posters depicting the kaiju ninja turtle swapping mutant DNA with long time nemesis Gyaos and that space oddity, Jiger. In total, the series states simply that Gam-Gam will get into a skirmish with five kaiju in all. Sounds like WWE’s™ Royal Rumble, but using buildings instead of folding metal chairs.

We all know Gyaos is an anvil-headed winged asshat who’ve been testing Gamera’s resolve since 1967. Gyaos is not only its birth name, but the name of an entire species of winged asshats. Jiger, in case it slipped your mind, is a mega-dinosaur kept out of commission by the Devil’s Whistle, a statue of unknown origins on Wester Island in the Pacific Ocean. Jiger’s powers — other than he’s a she — include jet propulsion (jets in the back of her hairdo), magnetium beam (can shoot curved beams out of the corner of her head so it doesn’t smear her lipstick), and shooting quills, not unlike a punk rock porcupine. 

Other old school kaiju from Gamera’s hit list could be Barugon (giant lizard with a unicorn horn, rainbow death ray that shoots out of it, extendo tongue), Viras (land squid with a spear head, able to swim and fly), Guiron (fat gator reptile, head shaped like a steak knife, can shoot shurikens stored in two indents on the side of his head, teeth 60 times sharper than a Mecha Piranha), and Zigra (alien space parrot, has a snack-pak variety of emitting beams — Cell Activity Suspension Beam, Fourth Dimensional Beam, Earthquake-Inducing Beam, Tri-Color Ray Blast — and can launch a nuclear weapon out of its mouth). All solid ingredients to make turtle soup.

So while we re-watch all the Gamera movies (there are 12), here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make you emit multi-colored beams out of your orifices…

THE BURIAL / Out now (VOD)
“When Molly’s boyfriend gets a phone call from his estranged brother, she thinks nothing of joining him on an impromptu family reunion at a remote cabin. However, she soon finds herself taking charge of a deadly situation when the trip’s true purpose is revealed and good intentions lead to a conflict with pure evil.”

Impromptu family reunions should take place at Red Robin™ or T.G.I. Fridays™. At either of those places you can get mozzarella sticks. At remote cabins in the woods, all you can get is sticks.

THE CURSE OF WOLF MOUNTAIN / May 2023 (VOD)

“AJ begins having vivid dreams of his parents’ death. He decides to go back to the spot where they were killed, 20 years ago, accompanied by his brother and his brother’s family. But legend has it there is something mysterious roaming these woods.”

The movie’s ad sheet says this one’s called Wolf Mountain. Serviceable, but boring. So they changed it after the fact to The Curse of Wolf Mountain. Just adding the word “curse” to anything makes it ominously cool. Example: The Curse of Ketchup…My Girlfriend’s Monthly Curse…Cursed Toilet Paper… Hey, this is fun!

APPENDAGE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A young fashion designer seems fine on the surface but secretly struggles with debilitating self-doubt. Soon these buried feelings begin to make Hannah physically sick and sprout into a ferocious growth on her body: The Appendage. As Hannah’s health declines, The Appendage grows more powerful and begins to fuel her anxieties, her perceived lack of talent at work, her deteriorating relationships with her boyfriend and best friend and her parents’ lack of love and understanding. At her breaking point, Hannah makes a shocking discovery: there are others out there like her.”

I remember watching an adult movie called The Appendage. It didn’t have a plot.

THE WAIT / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“Eladio, hunting estate keeper, takes a bribe from a veteran hunter. Weeks later, his whole life falls apart. What looked like the opportunity of a lifetime, turns into a macabre descent to hell when he finds out that his misfortune might not be entirely by chance.”

They should’ve called this, Here Comes The Bribe.

365 Days of Horror, Tramp Stamped Piranhas, Extinct Genes

Time again for Lunchmeat Magazine’s annually-anticipated Home Video Horrors calendar. Seems like it’s been a year since they put one out. I you’re a fan of Z-grade lurid horror movies that used to come out on VHS, this paints you in a must-own corner.

From Lunchmeat’s website: “Photographer Jacky Lawrence with W.T. Scot present an all-new Home Video Horrors calendar, featuring 12 brand spankin’ new photo tributes to some of the most iconic, incredible, and eye-popping VHS covers ever to stalk the horror section of the video store. The Home Video Horrors 2023 calendar is printed on high-quality, full-color semi-gloss paper. Only 250 copies will be produced, and you can pre-order yours for $19.99 over on Lunchmeat’s website now. The calendars are expected to be delivered in January 2023.”

While we watch 2022 go down in flames and re-light the torch with this 2023 horror calendar, here are a few out now horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not last a year…

THE CRETACEOUS WORLD / Out now (VOD)

The Bermuda Triangle area has always been known as the Hell of Death. Many years ago, due to the special magnetic field and ocean current environment, a “sleeping” cretaceous island emerged from the water. The island has a large number of dinosaur genes that have been extinct more than 65 million years ago. A bizarre air crash led a group of survivors to be trapped on this island.”

At around 79 million years, the Cretaceous is the longest geological period of the entire Phanerozoic. Knowing this going in made the movie that much more satisfying.

PIRANHA WOMEN / Out now (Tubi™)

“A tender tale of a tribe of sexy ladies who keep a toothy, terrifying secret beneath their bikini tops and the young woman who is slowly, surely starting to join their ribald ranks.”

Bikini-wearing women that turn into flesh-eating fish. And they say there are no new plots.

THE SCREAMING SKY (aka, CEREBOH) / Out now (VOD)

“The world has been overrun by mind-controlling aliens called Sky Beasts. Six people hide out in an abandoned building. But when one of them is exposed to the aliens, paranoia among them proves to be just as deadly as any threat from the sky.”

Sky Beasts is what I call those %@#$ seagulls that crap all over my car. (Shaking fist menacingly) “I’ll kill you, %@#$ Sky Beasts!” 

THE DOLL 3 / Out now (VOD)

“After an accident that killed both of her parents, Tara now only has a younger brother named Gian as a member of her family. However, the accident traumatized Gian, so he chose to end his life. After the suicide of her brother, Tara decides to take his favorite toy, a child-size talking doll called Bobby, to a shaman to have his spirit reborn inside it. The doll takes on a life of its own, turning into a demonic serial killer who targets any and everyone in Tara’s life that stands in his way of completely monopolizing his sister’s time.”

Looks like somebody’s been watching Child’s Play. Three times, apparently.

Swimming With Monsters, Jurassic Priest, Spooky Bathtub

It’s not just sharks you have to put at harpoon’s length when swimming in the middle of the ocean with no on-duty lifeguard in sight. There’s gangsta otters, serial killer dolphins, kale seaweed… But in the board game of Float: From the Deep, you also have to swim faster than the other players (i.e., bait) to avoid being fatally nibbled on by sea monsters, watery creatures and the pirate zombies that live, work and party in the deadly deep depths.

Created by Mixtape Massacre™, “Float: From the Deep is a fast-paced tabletop game where players find themselves lost at sea, battling ferocious creatures from below and attempting to outsmart and outlast their fellow players. With only seven days to make it to the island in the foggy distance, its sink, swim, or be devoured by the next monster from the deep.”

The standard version of the game will set you back $39.99 clams. You could buy expansion pack options individually, ranging from $3.00 to $14.99. But do yourself a favor and get Float: The Deep Bundle for $70.96, with a savings of five sand dollars.

While you rummage through your Davy Jones locker (i.e., fishbowl coin jar) to dredge up the required bounty, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not leave you with a sinking feeling…

CONJURING THE GENIE II / Out now (YouTube™)

“An aspiring novelist discovers the deadly reality of the legendary Wishmaker.”

Let the genie out of the 12 oz. bottle and make your all your wishes come true.

A HAUNTED TURKISH BATHHOUSE / January 10, 2023 (Blu-ray)

“An abused wife is sold to a brothel to cover her husband’s debts. The deceitful husband is actually behind it all and in cahoots with the brothel Madame, who is his lover. Tani discovers the truth and gets tortured to death. However, the dead woman’s soul seeks vengeance from a most unusual quarter.”

This movie library essential came out in 1975 and is FINALLY getting the Blu-ray makeover it deserves. I’ve long since worn out the VHS copy I found in a semi-haunted YMCA locker room.

INFINITY POOL / January 27, 2023 (Theaters)

“While enjoying an idyllic, luxury vacation, James encounters the seductive Gabi who promises to show him the hidden side of the island resort. Once beyond the gates, she exposes him to a shocking underworld of violence and sex that pushes his boundaries, with terrifying consequences.”

Shocking violence and sex — the peanut butter and jelly of quality movie plots. Really hoping they push the boundaries to new heights by showing what lies beyond bathing suit areas.

VELOCIPASTOR 2 / Release pending 2023/2024 (VOD)

“The crime-fighting clergyman who transforms into a dinosaur is set to travel to Europe in a story that involves murders at an Italian fertility festival, Soviet spies and Interpol.”

A crime-fighting priest who turns into a dinosaur. No regrets, Batman, but you’ve just been replaced.

17 Godzillas, Pool Monsters, Satanic Country Clubs

Another key art treatment for Godzilla: King of the Monsters (May 31, 2019). This would be the ninth one, and I hope they make nine more. I need to cover an entire wall that needs paint. The latest trailer asks the question, how many Titans (embiggened monsters) are there? To which Dr. Ishiro Serizawa replies: “17 — and counting.” I bet one of ‘em is living in the apartment above me, stomping on the floor like it was Tokyo.”

To quell your nervous anticipation for the movie, here are a few upcoming/now available horror movies that may or may not be as horrifying as a paint neglected wall…

DROWNING ECHO (available now)
“During a visit to friends, Sara begins having visions and is attacked by an unearthly creature in her friend’s swimming pool; she soon discovers that anyone who comes into contact with the water is in danger and she is driven to confront the mystical and malevolent creature lurking in the depths.”

When I was a kid and visited local community swimming pools, the unearthly creature at the bottom of the pools was usually a turd. I didn’t do it. But I know who did: Republicans.

THE VELOCIPASTOR (2019)
“After a devastating family tragedy, a priest travels to China to find deeper spirituality, but instead is endowed with an ancient ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first, he is horrified by his newfound superpower, but a local prostitute convinces him to use his newfound gift to fight evil — and ninjas.”

So a priest who can turn into a dinosaur or “Jesus horse.” Now THERE’S a way to make religion way more interesting. Wrote about this back in 2011. Kinda surprised I can remember back that far. It was a trailer for a movie that hadn’t been made yet. Now, all these multiple months later, it’s here. Thank Dino Lord.

HAIL SATAN? (2019)
“The Satanic Temple, a mysterious organization led by Lucien Greaves, has called for a Satanic revolution to save the soul of the US.”

One nation, under Satan, for meanness and evil for all. Isn’t that what’s going on now?

SATANIC PANIC (2019/20120)
“Times are tough for Sam. Already a cancer survivor at 22, she eeks out a meager existence delivering pizza for minimum wage — and minimum tips — while dealing with an exploitative boss and obnoxious coworkers. When the final delivery of the night promises to take her to a wealthy neighborhood with the chance of a healthy tip, she takes the opportunity to make up for an unprofitable shift. What begins as a quest for cash ends up as a quest for survival, though, when it turns out her customers aren’t who she’s used to delivering to. Instead, they’re a Satanic cult of a very different color: high-society elites for whom worshiping the Dark Lord coexists with country clubs and casseroles.”

A high-society Satanic cult that hangs out in country clubs and eats pizza and casseroles instead of chi-tos (heh)? Clearly, there are more perks to being evil than originally assessed.

Monster Transparency

In Sea Creature (2009), Oregon seaside fishing/cigar chomping captain Will McKenna has problems bigger than losing one of his crew in the middle of a storm and keeping said cigar lit in the rain and waves coming over the deck. There’s an invisible sea creature that put him and everyone in Oregon on the menu.

And it’s that very same sea monster that’s been eating up all that pricey salmon and following Will back to port, where it lays eggs that will hatch more sea monsters. And they come to the feast with nasty table manners — they spit a green goo that paralyzes humans, wherein the monsters feast on your face while you’re still alive. You can’t scream or even crap your pants, which has got to suck hard.

The monsters start the buffet with teenage appetizers, leaving a trail of entrails. Complicating matters is the creatures are invisible until they strike and can jump around tree branches like they had just watched The Predator on DVD.

From this point on, it’s run, hide, scream, bleed, die. A full-on monster attack on two teens — one of which is Will’s daughter — takes place in a remote cabin. Unfortunately, their assault yielded little edible results. So they move the battle to an abandoned and likely stinky ferry. Problem for the survivors is the boat also doubles as a nesting place filled with eggs filled with more monsters. And some goop.

The showdown on the boat is a bit on the weak side, especially given the previous graphic gore goop painting the scenic seaside. But hey, nice body count from the monsters, even if they look like digital dino doggies. 

Dinosaur Food, Multi-Headed Sharks, Post-Apocalyptic Criminals

Gotta hand it to film marketers — Universal™ teamed up with Kellogg Co.™ (the folks behind such nutritiously sugarized cereal like Honey Smacks™,  Kellogg’s Smorz™ and Kream Krunch™) to cross promote Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (June 22, 2019) by putting a dinosaur on the box cover as well as (here comes the genius part) an embedded digital screen that offers Jurassic fans an exclusive five-minute compilation of behind-the-scenes footage from the making of the movie. 

From the press release: “The collector’s editions of the Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom packages will cost $24.99 each (plus shipping). Quantities are very, very limited: Kellogg has produced a total of only 200 boxes. The Kellogg’s packages with the embedded digital screens and Jurassic World-themed packaging are available for purchase on Amazon.com.”

“The videos in the embedded digital player will include clips showing how the filmmakers brought the Jurassic World dinosaurs to life and how they used a roller coaster to capture the actors’ reactions when they’re in the Jurassic World gyrosphere. The special packages have a 7-inch screen with 1024-by-600 resolution. The special Frosted Flakes™ package features Blue, the intelligent female velociraptor from the new movie, while the Keebler Fudge Stripes™ box showcases a T-rex.”

That is so cool, I can’t even think of a better word to describe it, except that the Keebler™ box isn’t the only thing that’ll end up with a fudge stripe on it. So while I go in search of the cereal (it should come with Jurassic World moist towelette coupons), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that, like a T-rex, may or may not be your first choice for first meal of the day…

THE DOMESTICS (June 28, 2018)
“A post-apocalyptic world is inhabited by murderous gangs divided into deadly factions. Characters race desperately across the lawless countryside in search of safety.”

Sounds like my weekly grocery run. And why is it murderous gangs are always the ones running the post-apocalyptic world? What happened to all the bartenders?

6-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (August 28, 2018)
“Attendees of a marriage boot camp on a remote island have to fight a six-headed shark that attacks the beach.”

If you’re attending a marriage boot camp, then you deserve to get chewed out by a six-headed shark. Hate to be the one who cleans up after its meals, though; I’d need a front-loader.

MEGALODON (August 31, 2018)
“A military vessel is on the search for an unidentified submersible and comes face to face with the massive shark known as Megalodon.”

One guess as to who is ripping off The Meg (August 10, 2018) to ride its box office wave. The film studio name rhymes with “Ass I Am.”

BOARDING SCHOOL (August 31, 2018)
“When troubled 12-year-old Jacob Felsen is sent away to boarding school, he enters every kid’s worst nightmare: A creepy old mansion, deserted except for six other teenage misfits and two menacing and mysterious teachers. As events become increasingly horrific, Jacob must conquer his fears to find the strength to survive.”

Used to be running willy nilly through a creepy, deserted mansion would be the stuff of dreams to a 12-year-old kid. Nowadays, if there isn’t a wi-fi connection, a kid isn’t gonna give you the time of day. No apps for giving a f*ck, I suppose.

Mystery Godzilla, Occult Virgins, Pet Dinosaurs

Funko, fast becoming my favorite pop icon toy company, just released a Godzilla “mystery” box. Also called “mystery minis”, you get to see two Godzilla toy figures — regular and flaming (as in “on fire”), and one that’s not visible. Kinda neat. It’s like opening a peanut shell and wondering if you’ll get one of those allergy-triggering legumes (a peanut is part of the bean family), or some sort of invasive larvae that’ll grow to the size of your arm and eat the peanut butter sandwich that’s hanging from the end of it.

We already know there’s a bunch of different Godzillas: MechaGodzilla, Space Godzilla, JesusZilla (actually, he’s just the son), and those river-dancing all over what’s left of humanity in Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017): Godzilla Filius and the 300 meter-embiggened, Godzilla Earth. I don’t think Godzilla Earth could fit in even God’s toy box, so I’m thinkin’’ the mystery ‘monster‘ is Ghost Godzilla. Don’t know if he even exists, just though it sounded cool.

While you click away from this blog to go check out Funko.com (yes, you WILL be blown away), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies may or may not seem as cool as…Ghost Godzilla…

THE NIGHT OF THE VIRGIN (June 12, 2018)
“Javier Badola is a lonely young man who attends a New Years Eve party with the intention of losing his virginity. After midnight he finds himself alone and rejected until a middle-aged woman invites him back to her apartment. What promises to be an epic sexual debut turns into his worst nightmare when he discovers that the woman has a perverse occult agenda.”

Seriously? What guy doesn’t go out with the intent of losing his virginity — or at least re-imagineering it? And just so we’re clear, it just. ..doesn’t…matter if the woman has a perverse occult agenda. It’s super fun happy times for your swimsuit area, man! And if there are any “virgins” out there reading this, I’ll give you some advice via an old joke: “Sex is a lot like air — it’s no big deal until you’re not getting any.”

CANARIES (2018)
“In the style of Shaun Of The Dead, The Lost Boys and Attack the Block, Canaries is a funny, dark and action packed sci-fi horror comedy that pits a group of drunken friends on New Years Eve in a Welsh valley against an invasion task force of creepy time-traveling aliens. A kick-ass M.O.D agent, an insecure radio DJ and a kung fu master who owns the local B&B learn their new years resolution this year is simple: STAY ALIVE.”

Why do I have a sudden desire to move to a Welsh valley? I hear the residents are out of this world. P.S. I wanna be a kung fu master, but don’t wanna own a B&B. The things people do all over sheets — there’s the real horror story.

ZOMBIEPURA (2018)
“When a mysterious virus breaks out in an isolated army camp, a lazy reservist soldier and his tough commander must work together to survive, and learn what it means to be real soldiers.”

Wow, it’s like they don’t even try and come up with a new spin on zombies. Sounds like Gomer Pyle versus the Undead.

ADVENTURES OF A JURASSIC PET: CHAPTER 1 (2018)
“An adventurous teenager summons the courage to help a friendly dinosaur to escape from the clutches of a mad scientist that wants to use him for experimentations.”

I imagine the worst part about a pet dinosaur is cleaning the litter box.

Zombie Cartoons, Undead Dinosaurs, All Purpose Evil

From artist Joe Gallimore comes a wicked cool mash-up with Michael Myers from Halloween (1978) and the infamous Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) key art, which was actually banned back in the day by the New York City Tourism committee. (All Republicans, no doubt.)

While we still wait for the New York City Tourism committee to pull their heads out of their Port Authority, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not get banned…

ZOMBIOLOGY (available now)
“When a monster from a popular animated show appears and starts a zombie outbreak, it’s up to eccentric duo Lung and Chi-Yeung to stand up and fight the horde of the recently deceased, and save their friends from all around chaos!”

I wish more cartoon characters would come to life and cause chaos. Just think of what Scooby Doo could do to/on your lawn.

THE INCANTATION (available now)
“A young American girl has a chance of a lifetime to visit her ancestors castle in the south of France, only to find that her family is hiding deep, dark secrets about their nefarious past, far away from prying eyes.”

YET ANOTHER family with deep, dark secrets. Got me thinking about my own family and what secrets THEY might be hiding. Time to kick down the door of the ‘ol ancestral outhouse and see if there’s a nefarious stuff laying around.

THE JURASSIC DEAD (Summer, 2018)
“A unit of mercenaries must team up with a group of tech-geek students after American is struck with an EMP attack. Deep in the desert, they find the source of the terror, a mad scientist who has also just created a living dead T-Rex dinosaur, one who turns everyone it attacks into a zombie. Now they must scramble to stay alive and save the planet from the ultimate undead predator.”

Hate to whiz in your punchbowl, but there was a zombie dinosaur movie before this: Z-Rex: The Jurassic Dead (2016). Maybe they know each other or are cousins on their mother’s side. Or it could be a simple case of plagiarism. Best to consult the family paleontologist.

TORMENTED (2018)
“A tragic car accident leads a family into a nightmare of supernatural terror as an ancient evil haunts their dreams.”

Supernatural terror and ancient evil go hand in hand, like peanut butter and Cheetos™. What, you’ve never tried peanut butter on Cheetos™? Like supernatural terror and ancient evil, they’re to die for.

Kickboxing Future Dinosaurs

In the 8-track version of the future, a human slave from the future is being hunted by a space enforcer and his pet rubber dinosaurs, who wear electric dog collars that keeps them from biting the hand that feeds them.

The slave happens to be an expert in kickboxing. Dinosaurs could care less as they’re made of rubber. So, like, kick all you want. Helping the slave is a prostitute-turned-nun. Talk about having all your bases covered.

There’s way too much kick, not enough prostituting or dinosaur-ing in Future War (1997). But there is no limit to the colored light special effects that would look quite at home on a 1972 Christmas tree.