Archive for Diary of the Dead

Vlogging the Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Diary of the Dead

George Romero, the guy who all but invented zombies (sorry, voodoo witch doctors — you’ve been served), returned with Diary of the Dead (2007), YET ANOTHER entrée to his living dead menu. During an opening sequence that’s both confusing and shockless, we see the dead returning to life, which is what they’re paid to do. This is documented by hand-held cameras, a YouTube™ technique worn as thin as my patience for zombie movies.

Diary of the Dead

A group of college students and an alcoholic, over-enunciating teacher are making a horror movie when they learn the dead are eating the living. They jump into a handy RV and set out to find their families — conveniently located one million miles away. This sets up paint-by-numbers zombie encounters, none of which are particularly graphic, juicily lurid, or inspired. (A deaf Amish farmer fighting off the walking dead? Gimme a break.)

Diary of the Dead

Recording the “action” with a camera that has more battery power than my car, the emotionally-detached student never flinches when he films several of his zombie-bitten friends coming back to life and having his other friends shoot them in the face. In fact, he keeps everything all in frame. And focused. And well-lit.

Diary of the Dead

Predictably, the camera guy gets bitten, so the chick who’s been bitching at him the entire movie to turn the camera off, films him dying then coming back to life. Yep, that’s what we in the industry call situational irony.

Diary of the Dead

The gore is both dumb (handy sword to the head, splitting it like soft coconut) and phoned-in (been there, bit that). The zombies, as dull as they are, have more life in them than the characters. This one should’ve been titled, Diary of the Dud.

Bigfootage

Posted in Bigfoot, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hunting The Legend

Hunting The Legend – YET ANOTHER “found footage” horror movie. Hunting The Legend – YET ANOTHER “found footage” horror movie about Bigfoot. Both are so 1999. And yet anyone with a hand-held camera thinks doing movies like this makes them a filmmaker. If that’s the case, then I should be up for an Academy Award™ for my movie, Doing Stuff in the Neighbor’s Pool While They’re Gone (2013). Now there’s some found footage.

While Neighbor’s Pool was full of drama and twist-y plot turns (the garbage can submarine was pure genius), there’s nothing in the trailer for Hunting The Legend that doesn’t scream Blair Witch Project (1999) rip-off.

Hunting The Legend

Case in point: “When Chris Copeland was a young boy, his father was abducted by the legendary Bigfoot when the two went on a hunting trip. Authorities gave up on the case, stating it was all caused by a wild boar. It’s now five years later and Chris has recruited the help of two friends and a hired film crew to take matters into their own hands and capture the truth of the mystery monster.”

And just to drive home my bitchy point, the broken-but-still-running video camera on Hunting The Legend’s movie poster rips-off Diary of the Dead (2007) and Area 407 (2012), two other found footage horror movies.

Diary of the Dead / Area 407

Found footage “filmmakers” should just leave the camera to me and an unattended swimming pool.