Archive for diapers

Stumped By Wood Demons

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 12, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Hallow

I don’t wanna freak you out, but there’s a demon in the woods and it wants your baby. (And would it kill you to throw in some diapers?)

The Hallow

That’s at the feel-good heart of The Hallow (aka, The Woods/2015), a British/Irish joint that finds newly minted parents, who just moved into a seriously remote big ass mill house way out in the woods, trying to keep irritating demonic creatures living rent-free in the surround woods from taking their newborn crib monster. The worse part – no 7-Eleven™ for miles in any direction.

The Hallow

Couple of thoughts on The Hallow: It was released in the UK in the summer of 2015. It also premiered at the Sundance Festival six months prior to that. I haven’t seen it because I don’t live in the UK as far as I know. And Sundance has a restraining order against me. So I have to wait in line like the rest of the unwashed masses to see it.

Zombi 2 / The Hallow

Secondly, The Hallow pays loving homage to the infamous eye splinter impalement scene in Zombi 2 (1979) with an icky demon looking to stick it’s pointy digit into the cocktail olive that is the mom’s eye. Cocktail olives are not only mandatory for classy plastic cup cocktails, but can be eaten as a stand-alone snack. Augment with crackers and some processed cheese.

A Case of the Crabs

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Queen Crab

Giant crab movies are nothing new. You can go far back as 1961’s Mysterious Island for some sweet supersized crustacean action. And when you run out of ways to have mega crabs shell humans as if they were um, crab legs, then you give the title creature a new designation: Queen Crab. No word if this is a gay crab or one born of royalty.

Mysterious Island

Filmed using good old fashion stop-motion (see The Gumby Show/1956), Queen Crab is introduced via a meteor crashing into a remote quiet lake, probably loaded with giant leeches (see Attack of the Giant Leeches/1959). From there the space rock, probably thrown by God (see The Ten Commandments/1956), “awakens a centuries-old beast, who tears through a nearby town and its inhabitants who must fight for their lives and stop this Queen Crab before she can hatch an army of babies.”

Gumby

An army of crab babies. Good luck finding diapers that stay on during pinch-y attacks on humanity.

Queen Crab arrives via DVD September 2015 and is reported to be loaded with extras. Wishful thinking, but I hope one of the extras is a package of drawn butter and/or cocktail sauce.