The Devil Wears No Pants

There’s several things you should know about 1973’s Swiss/German The Devil’s Plaything (also Plaything of the Devil.) First, it’s been released under a laundry list of alternate titles, such as The Curse of the Black Sisters, aka, Der Fluch der schwarzen Schwestern, (too hard to pronounce), le Chateau des Messes Noires, aka, The House of Black Masses (meh), Satankultens Sexofre (huh?) Veil of Blood (boring), and Vampire Ecstasy (boring v.2). Secondly, clothing is pretty much a special effect as everyone in this decidedly adult vampire flick is devoid of britches throughout most of the movie.

Two gals go to Castle Varga on the premise that they are to inherit the brick house from a freshly deadened aunt. Also shacking up at the shabby shack are a young couple whose car went ka-BOOM down the road.

The castle’s caretakers are not caretakers at all (didn’t see one of ‘em touch a broom or mop) — they’re poker-faced Stygian cult women dressed in black (not for long) and hold midnight rituals, i.e., dancing, orgies, boob finger-painting. And they do this to the accompaniment of bongos. (Bongos might be the instrument of choice for beatniks, but those dang things are ANNOYING.)

The seductive fresh beats makes one of the non-cult gals insatiably horny and anything resembling or shaped like you know what is put to entertaining use. Problem is, she can’t be, um, fulfilled until some silly amulet is handed over to the cult, thereby setting off an adults-only party of ritual sex, neck sucking (and not just necks, by the way) and those ANNOYING BONGOS. (Vampires should not be allowed to bang on things. (Okay, that didn’t come out right.)

The vampire part is never fully explained or explored, relying on the power of boobies to give the plot some bounce. Lots of pant-less and soft-core coming and goings (okay, that didn’t come out right) take up most of the time, which is not a minus. Just watch it with the sound off.

P.S. You can find the entire uncut movie on YouTube™. There, I did my good deed for the day.

The Ecstasy of Vampires

Vampire Ecstasy (aka, Der Fluch der schwarzen Schwestern / 1973), is an erotic B-horror adult classic (starring Swedish porn legend Marie Forså), and goes by several other titles: Veil of Blood and the more well known, The Devil’s Plaything. No matter what you call it, this movie is NAUGHTY. And no, that’s not a bad thing.

One clean jerk away from being X-rated, a cult of horny, naked chicks, uh, I mean, comitted cultists, rub each other silly and have sex amongst themselves, assisted by a variety of wiener-shaped ritual candles. (All the best ritual candles are weiner-shaped.)

This acceptable behavior, of course, ushers in the soul of a vampire Baroness who thirsts for two things. (Think I might know what the other is.)

Plenty of chanting, bongo accompaniment and humpty-humping. Hardly any blood, but the rampant diddling and booby action more than made up for it.