Archive for Demi Moore

The Ghost and Mrs. Demur

Posted in Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Half Light

After her seven-year-old son drowns, mystery novelist Rachel Carson (played by perennial hottie Demi Moore) can’t write successful novels anymore. So her husband and real estate best friend tell her to go to a cottage cliff rental in the Scottish Highlands where everyone talks like Scotty from Star Trek and smells like sheep clippings. It’s hoped this R&R will help her reconcile her grief and start making money again for spending purposes.

Half Light

Once situated in Scotland, unusual events occur: The refrigerator magnet letters form messages from her dead son and there are brief flashes of ghostly figures and sheep poop everywhere you step. While staying in the stink village of Ingonish Cove, Rachel notices a light coming from the abandoned lighthouse within small dingy rowing distance across the wind-battered inlet.

Half Light

So without a life vest, she rows there, meets a young man named Angus (isn’t everyone in Scotland named Angus, even the women?) and the two start hanging out ’n stuff. But wait just a Scooby Doo moment — the other villagers tell Rachel that Angus died years ago and that no one lives at the lighthouse, every since the bulb burnt out and no one wanted to change it. 

Half Light

This, of course, appeals to her mystery-seeking nature. So she has sex with the guy to prove everyone wrong. But those messages from her dead son keep showing up as if to warn her of…something. She calls her girlfriend who flies to Scotland to have a girl’s night out with wine, fashion tips and comparing notes about doing it with ghost lighthouse keepers. 

Half Light

Something isn’t quite adding up, though, so she digs a little more and with the help of her dead son’s communiques, stumbles across the truth: Angus isn’t a ghost at all, the big phony. He was hired by Demi’s husband and girlfriend (who are having a bare naked affair) to drive her mad so that they could control all of her spending money. Even real ghosts wouldn’t be that conniving.

Half LightRachel/Demi is bagpipe hot and while she has sex and doesn’t show her fun parts, you’ll still like looking at her for hours at a time. As for Half Light (2006), I probably won’t be looking at it for anymore hours at a time. I wanted rot-faced ghosts and international intrigue, but all I got was a tepid mystery. (Given the movie’s location, it’s practically an insult to not factor in the Loch Ness Monster, if even for a cameo.) I still heart Scotland, though.

Death Sea Worm

Posted in Aliens, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Parasite

Environmentalists discover that an oil rig is really a front for top secret sci-fi experiments to create a killing worm to sell to the military. This makes the greenies turn red, so they infiltrate the rig and plan to blow it up, never mind that all the resulting pollution would kill off thousands of friendly narwhals and pettable jellyfish.

Parasite

From there Parasite/2004 (aka, Hell’s Mouth) follow the Alien (1979) template almost to the letter, with the monster bug, now the size of 718 hot dogs, snail-trailing it through ventilation shafts and biting those that would seek to slather it in mustard. Note: They should try it with Black Truffle mustard blended with a delicate Chablis (“Shah-blee”). Zingy!

Parasite

The parasite is one of the all-time worst CGI creatures ever plagiarized, looking more like computer clay with plastic teeth. To show you how clichéd this “sci-fi thriller” is, there are 17 movies with the title of Parasite (the one in the ’80s with Demi Moore being the better of the pile).

Hell's Mouth

And the oil rig? Totally not real. It was digital, as was the rain it was being “drenched” in. My theory is that they actually filmed this crapfest in an old warehouse with leftover parasite birthing sacs hanging from the ceiling. I really think I’m right about this.