Archive for cults

Kitchen Sink Horror

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers, Vampires, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Monster Pool: Chapter Two

Looking for new horror movies with fresh, exciting and original ideas? Not gonna find ‘em here. But hey, it’s either this or romantic comedies (i.e., “rom coms”). Now that I think about it, rom coms can be pretty dang horrifying as well. Time to take my foot out of my mouth YET AGAIN.

Anyway…

MONSTER POOL: CHAPTER TWO (Available now / unrated / uncensored)
“One Movie. Ten Tales of Terror. Dive deep into murky and bloody waters with Vampires, Ghosts, Demons, Death, Succubi, Mind Control, The Monster Under Your Bed, Cults, Zombies and Serial Killers!”

What, no kitchen sink? Those things can be shockingly frightful, especially when they’re full of unwashed dishes. (I did ’em last time, so now it’s your turn.)

It Watches

IT WATCHES (December 6, 2016 / VOD & February 21, 2017 / DVD)
“Andre takes a house sitting job at a creepy home nestled in the hills above Los Angeles. As night comes the house reveals its insidious nature as he begins hearing ominous sounds and experiencing strange occurrences throughout the house that lead him to believe he is not alone, and that someone, or something is in the house with him.”

I’m betting it’s a ghost. Or a rat. Or a rat ghost. The takeaway here is that a haunted house is no big deal when it’s someone else’s mortgage payment.

The Noonday Witch

THE NOONDAY WITCH (aka, Polednice / available now / Czech Republic / USA / 2017)
“Eliška and her eight years old daughter Anetka move into a remote house to begin their new life with the ‘father away on business,’ as the mother claims. However, when the daughter discovers the truth and realizes her own mother lied to her all along, their relationship begins to wither. At that time, the mythical creature of The Noonday Witch begins to materialize. It is coming closer and closer and the question is poised: is the danger real or is it all in the mother’s crumbling head?”

Crumbling head. Great description. It describes me on so many levels. As for the Noonday Witch, I know nothing about her and why she’s up at the crack of noon causing all sorts of sleeping-in-late shennanigans. Maybe it’s because wiccans always work the night shift.

Lake Bodom

LAKE BODOM (aka, Bodom / available now / Finland, 2017 / USA)
“Every camper’s worst nightmare came true at Lake Bodom in 1960 when four teenagers were stabbed to death while sleeping in their tent. As the years passed and the case grew cold, the unsolved mystery turned into an urban legend, a creepy campfire story passed from generation to generation. Now, a group of teenagers arrives at the same campsite, hoping to solve the murder by reconstructing it minute by minute. As night falls, turns out not all of them are there to play. Tonight it’s girls against boys. Let the killing games begin.”

Stock Horror Plot # 8. New slasher movie, same recipe. I’ll still watch it, even though they give away the plot. Theorized spoiler: If it’s not each other, I bet the killer is that Toronto Maple Leafs hockey fan from Friday the 13th Part III (1982).

The Void

THE VOID (2017)
“In the middle of a routine patrol, officer Daniel Carter happens upon a blood-soaked figure limping down a deserted stretch of road. He rushes the young man to a nearby rural hospital staffed by a skeleton crew, only to discover that patients and personnel are transforming into something inhuman. As the horror intensifies, Carter leads the other survivors on a hellish voyage into the subterranean depths of the hospital in a desperate bid to end the nightmare before it’s too late.”

A skeleton crew working at a hospital. I don’t know why that cracks me up. The plot recalls 2008’s Norwegian horror movie Dark Floors, wherein heavy metal demons pursue a father and daughter trapped in a haunted hospital. I don’t think heavy metal demons are in The Void, though. Probably zombies. Or skeletons. Or zombie skeletons. Working the night shift.

Alien Ghost Zombie

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Consumption

Three more upcoming horror/sci-fi treats for your viewing device. Warning: the makers of these films fully intend to charge you to watch ’em. You’d think they had rent to pay or something.

Arriving July 2016, the horror indie Consumption – already critically lauded on the film festival circuit – has been described as having a “gruesome goulash of ghosts, cults, and good ’ol demons.”

I haven’t had goulash in a long time.

Anyway, Consumption goes like this: “A group of friends travel to the snowy Utah mountains for a weekend retreat. One brings with him a dark secret that could destroy their lives forever. As they prepare to face an ancient secret buried in the woods outside their winter resort, an unstoppable evil begins to grow, consuming them one by one.”

Man, that sounds a lot like The Evil Dead (1981).

Zombinatrix

Next up is Zombinatrix (release pending 2016), starring Patty Mullen of Frankenhooker (1990) fame. It’s about a dominatrix who comes back from the dead to take revenge – as if you need a plot. Not much else in known about this one, other than it’s YET ANOTHER flippin’ zombie movie. Sigh.

The Gracefield Incident

If found footage – the karaoke of film making – is your preferred point of view, then you’ll want to check out The Gracefield Incident (release pending 2016). I watched the trailer and it looks to have some sort extraterrestrial causing usual heck for Earthers. Here’s how…

“Matt, a video game developer, embeds an iPhone™ camera into his prosthetic eye to secretly record and document a weekend with friends in a luxurious mountaintop cabin. Things take a terrifying turn when a meteorite crashes the party, forcing everyone to face the darkest, screaming nightmare while somehow connecting life, love, and loss in a twist of fear.”

Life, love, loss. Sounds like a recipe for a chick flick.

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

A moderately handsome anthropologist exposes cults for a hobby, which makes a bunch of stinky demons mad at him. As an academic who only deals in fact, his world flips around like a broken ferris wheel when his reality is thrown into question by random acts of magic, eerie symbols and unholy, computer-generated demons.

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

Filmed in Australia, all the actors and hellish entities talk like that dead Crocodile Hunter guy. (“G’day, evil!”) Our hero’s girlfriend is crucified in their living room; his dead brother keeps coming back to taunt him; he’s kidnapped and tortured by punk rock demonologists; and his heart is yanked out of his chest and put in a fashionable coin purse for carrying bus change and chapstick and such.

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons

The delicious Katie Wolfe turns up as a loony tune trying to help him “see” the evil around him. And to touch his chazwazza. (“There’s a hidden message, but you have to keep it close to your penis,” she says, sticking her hand down his trousers.) The sex scene is blurred just enough where you can’t see Kate’s groceries, but there’s enough blood and violence and plot turns in The Irrefutable Truth About Demons (2000) to keep you from conjuring your own demons. In other words, no worries, mate.

The Irrefutable Truth About Demons