Archive for Crystal Lake

New York – A Killer Vacation Destination

Posted in Classic Horror, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Resurrected by an underwater electrical cable (a good source of power and vitamins for the dead), Jason Voorhees, the unstoppable hockey-masked serial killer is nearly showroom ready YET AGAIN. A believable though predictable beginning for Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989).

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

A boat load of dumbass high school dumbasses are pleasure boating up the coast to go spread their dumbassery around New York. Jason loves boats (kyaks in particular), so he grabs hold of the S.S. Scream ’n Die’s anchor and gets a Lyft™.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes ManhattanWhat few survivors left escape by row, row, rowing the rest of the way to New York, where Jason follows. Strolling the well-littered streets of Manhattan, Jason punches a mouthy gangbanger so hard, his head comes clean off. A bit dramatic, but hey, JV was just excited to be anywhere except Crystal Lake for a change.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

In town with a few days to kill (heh), Jason takes in the sights: Times Square, the sewer system (kind of the same thing), and a nightclub (he skated without paying cover). The movie’s ongoing joke is that one of horror’s most prolific killing machines could walk mostly unnoticed among the city’s jaded residents.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Jason gets a taste of New York hospitality when toxic waste is poured into the sewer and his flesh dissolves like Alka-Seltzer™ after a long night killin’ it in the City That Never Sleeps. (He’ll be back.)

Say what you will about the Big Apple – you can’t get this kind of entertainment in Los Angeles.

Friday the 13th, 2455

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , on September 24, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jason X

So how did Jason, the unstoppable killer of camp counselors at Crystal Lake, end up on a 24th century spaceship with a new hockey mask and his a shiny new stabby device?

Jason X

For starters, he was eventually caught and put in suspended animation (just like the plot of all the nine Friday the 13th movies that came before this one), being thawed out 500 years later at the Crystal Lake Research Facility (oh, good grief).

Jason X

During a misunderstanding about future manners and protocol, Jason gets loose and resumes the doom. During his killing spree, Jason’s legs and arms get sheared off. But as this is the future, they can rebuild him.

Jason X

Seems the people of tomorrow are just as stupid as the people of today. Jason is reconstructed as an unstoppable killing machine, punching heads off and the what not. Note: future people scream, bleed and die, just like their dumbass ancestors.

Jason X

If you think Jason X (2001) is a laugh, then the ending will make you hurl previously injested proteins and starches.

In space, no one can hear you chuck.