Archive for Contracted

Sex Monsters

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Night of Something Strange

Sexually transmitted diseases seem to be making a comeback in horror movies lately (Contracted, Contracted: Phase II, It Follows), and look to replace science/space virus recipes normally used to make zombies. About time that old hat got an upgrade. But the message is clear: get a boner, become a donor.

The aforementioned crotch cooties gone wild are at the root of Night of Something Strange (2015), in which five teenage friends set out for the beach on their Spring Break vacation.

Night of Something Strange

While it seems to be a contemporary spin on The Evil Dead (1981), the gory story goes like this: “Good times are cut short when one of the group, Carrie, contracts a deadly sexual transmitted disease during a bathroom stop. When they stop for the night at an isolated motel, the real terror begins when the STD virus starts running rampant, turning those infected into the living dead. However, there’s more going on at the motel than meets the eye.”

Night of Something Strange

Contracts a deadly sexual transmitted disease during a bathroom stop? Super ick! What is it with young people these days that the urge to merge is so powerful that they seek out the nearest super ick-infested gas station bathroom to get momentarily romantic in?

Night of Somethign Strange

Back in sensibly horny days, a vacationing neighbor’s garage was a veritable Chateau Marmont. The smell of old gas-y lawn mowers and half-used cans of fragrant paint brings back a few puberty party memories.

My next door neighbors knew me too well, though, and set up guard dogs, snipers and booby traps around their property when they left town. Took me three weeks to dig a tunnel.

Spreading the Love Disease

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Contracted: Phase II

Sometimes icky sex is better than no sex at all. (Disclaimer: this ONLY applies to horror movies.)

In Contracted (2013), a modern horror story about a one-night-stand gone wrong, Samantha, a young gal, has sorta consensual sex with a guy who just had sex with a corpse (he works at a morgue). The next day, after waking up feeling not so fresh, Samantha soon discovers her body is slowly rotting from the inside out. Even if she ate soap sandwiches, it couldn’t stop the progressing ickiness. What to do? Have sex with someone and share the “love.”

Contracted: Phase II

And that’s right where the sequel, Contracted: Phase II (2015) picks up. This guy Riley sorta consensually has sex with Samantha, and doesn’t seem to mind the maggots coming out of her public privates. So now he’s got the love bug:

Phase II follows Riley, one of the last people to come in contact with Samantha, as he scrambles to track down those responsible for the outbreak before the highly contagious disease not only consumes his body, but the world as we know it.”

Contracted: Phase II

Contracted: Phase II comes out on September 25, 2015. You might want to have a bottle of bleach handy to wipe down the TV after you see it. Just in case.

Bloody Good Horror

Posted in Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 7, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Strange Blood

First look at Strange Blood’s ad poster reminds one of 2013’s Contracted, a stand-out horror indie that dealt with the theme of something super icky gone wrong with your fluids that makes your eyes bloodshot-y, your mouth lips all gunked up and unsmoochable and your face highly unattractive to stare at.

Contracted

Where the unlucky gal in Contracted acquired her disease through sexual intimacy (i.e., unprotected one night stand), the gent’s infected hemoglobin in Strange Blood is mutated by a super icky parasite that turns him into something even ickier. (Man, that word is almost universal.)

Here’s all about Strange Blood’s ickiness: “When a brilliant but obsessive scientist goes to extremes to develop a universal cure for all disease, he finds himself infected with a bizarre parasite that begins to transform him into a bloodthirsty madman. Time running out, and with the aid of his med student assistant, he must find a way to stop the monster that is growing within and prevent the rest of the world from being ‘cured.’”

Strange Blood

While the term “bloodthirsty madman” hardly makes anyone blink in these jaded times, it still applies, but only as syllables. The infected scientist takes it to the extreme and, like the mutating guys in The Fly (1958, 1986) before him, can pretty much forget about dating anything swimming in his former gene pool.

Strange Blood arrives on VOD April 28, 2015 and later on DVD June 2, 2015, hopefully in a hygenically-sealed wrapper.

The Horror of Sex

Posted in Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , on October 25, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Contracted

It’s not often you see a horror movie about a sexually transmitted disease gone wild. And really, who would want to see something like that on the big screen, let alone their privates and face after they scratch themselves and then rub their eyes?

Contracted

Contracted, a new horror flick flaring up on November 22, 2013 on IFC, deals with just such a topic. Here are the icky details: “A young girl who has a one-night stand with a stranger, contracting what she thinks is a sexually transmitted disease, but it is actually something far worse. As things begin to crumble around her, she’s sent on a disturbing and bloodcurdling journey, sure to keep audiences on the edge of their seats. With nail-biting suspense and frightening twists, Contracted is a horror film for those who think they’ve seen it all.”

I’m thinking I don’t want to see it all. Conditions like Rump Rot or Greasy Crease isn’t on my go-to list of horror genres to watch. How come they just can’t make a nice, happy movie about super painful rug burns or achy tennis elbow? Now there’s some fascinating themes to explore.