Archive for Contracted: Phase II

Sex Monsters

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Night of Something Strange

Sexually transmitted diseases seem to be making a comeback in horror movies lately (Contracted, Contracted: Phase II, It Follows), and look to replace science/space virus recipes normally used to make zombies. About time that old hat got an upgrade. But the message is clear: get a boner, become a donor.

The aforementioned crotch cooties gone wild are at the root of Night of Something Strange (2015), in which five teenage friends set out for the beach on their Spring Break vacation.

Night of Something Strange

While it seems to be a contemporary spin on The Evil Dead (1981), the gory story goes like this: “Good times are cut short when one of the group, Carrie, contracts a deadly sexual transmitted disease during a bathroom stop. When they stop for the night at an isolated motel, the real terror begins when the STD virus starts running rampant, turning those infected into the living dead. However, there’s more going on at the motel than meets the eye.”

Night of Something Strange

Contracts a deadly sexual transmitted disease during a bathroom stop? Super ick! What is it with young people these days that the urge to merge is so powerful that they seek out the nearest super ick-infested gas station bathroom to get momentarily romantic in?

Night of Somethign Strange

Back in sensibly horny days, a vacationing neighbor’s garage was a veritable Chateau Marmont. The smell of old gas-y lawn mowers and half-used cans of fragrant paint brings back a few puberty party memories.

My next door neighbors knew me too well, though, and set up guard dogs, snipers and booby traps around their property when they left town. Took me three weeks to dig a tunnel.

Spreading the Love Disease

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Contracted: Phase II

Sometimes icky sex is better than no sex at all. (Disclaimer: this ONLY applies to horror movies.)

In Contracted (2013), a modern horror story about a one-night-stand gone wrong, Samantha, a young gal, has sorta consensual sex with a guy who just had sex with a corpse (he works at a morgue). The next day, after waking up feeling not so fresh, Samantha soon discovers her body is slowly rotting from the inside out. Even if she ate soap sandwiches, it couldn’t stop the progressing ickiness. What to do? Have sex with someone and share the “love.”

Contracted: Phase II

And that’s right where the sequel, Contracted: Phase II (2015) picks up. This guy Riley sorta consensually has sex with Samantha, and doesn’t seem to mind the maggots coming out of her public privates. So now he’s got the love bug:

Phase II follows Riley, one of the last people to come in contact with Samantha, as he scrambles to track down those responsible for the outbreak before the highly contagious disease not only consumes his body, but the world as we know it.”

Contracted: Phase II

Contracted: Phase II comes out on September 25, 2015. You might want to have a bottle of bleach handy to wipe down the TV after you see it. Just in case.