Archive for coma

Leprosy Zombies, Ghosts Students, Fake Moon

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Magnificent Dead

Watching YET ANOTHER “the moon landing was faked” documentary. This is a British version. British people are too polite to lie. As for where I stand on this unending conspiracy, I do not believe our astronauts landed on the moon. I believe NASA built an artificial moon a few blocks from my apartment. That’s where they shot the footage and thereby faked the entire thing.

Only problem is, they didn’t get rid of the man-made moon and it’s just sitting there, all moldy and looking like an abandoned World’s Fair attraction. That, and it’s pull on our tides is screwing with my bath water. Stupid fake moon.

And here’s some upcoming horror and sci-fi that may or may not need to go in and/or out with the tide…

THE MAGNIFICENT DEAD (available now)
“In the 1870s in the small Texas town of Rosewood, local rancher Jared Hamilton and his men have declared war on the town, using fear and death to prevent a new railroad line from coming through. Guided by a priest, Father Julian the desperate town leaders decide to hire a group of six gunmen to help clean up the town. These gunmen are legendary, as they are afflicted with Leprosy and fight with reckless abandon and ruthlessness, for they have nothing to lose as they are already dead.”

Back in those days, lepers is what sick people were called instead of zombies/walking dead/undead/straddling the life/death fence’rs. The town leaders should’ve called on the Old West’s Jonah Hex because he’s a lot less “germ-y.” (Antibiotics weren’t invented until 1929 and then commercialized in the ’40s. I have no idea why I know that.)

Inheritance

INHERITANCE (June 2, 2017/Limited)
Ryan Bowman has just inherited a $2.5 million beach house on the central California coast from his biological father, a man he’s never known and thought long dead. Arriving in the charming town with his pregnant fiancé, Ryan’s curiosity about his father soon leads him into an introspective investigation. As a looming family presence tightens its grip on him, Ryan pushes away his adoptive family and expectant fiancé. When he finally discovers the horrifying truth about his birth parents, he might be too late to stop himself from repeating a similar pattern.”

Who cares? A $2.5 million dollar beach house?!? Geez, quit yer b*tchin’ and TAKE THE MONEY. Some people don’t know when to just shut up and make their way towards the cake.

The School

THE SCHOOL (2017/2018)
Amy, an attractive, successful surgeon, struggles to cope with her emergency room duties and those of a young mother looking after her hospitalized son who has fallen into a coma. After being reprimanded by her boss, Dr. Wang, for obsessively believing her son will wake up, she becomes trapped in a coma/purgatory of her own – The School – where children from her past emerge to taunt and test her to her core, putting in doubt whether Amy will be able to save her son and leave The School.”

Her boss is Dr. Wang? Wonder if he’s a urologist?

POSSUM (2017/2018)
“A disgraced children’s puppeteer returns to his childhood home and is forced to confront his wicked stepfather and the secrets that have tortured him his entire life.”

You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you end up as a disgraced puppeteer. That’s right in there with being self-employed and hating the guy you’re working for.

Ghost Boy

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Silk

A paranormal research team discovers the ghost of a little boy in a run down (i.e., unmopped floors) apartment building. They set up shop and keep tabs on the little dead fellow, who appears every night at the same time, sits in the corner on the floor and says something. No one can hear him because hey, ghost words, people.

Silk

So they bring in a police sniper with extremely sharp vision and the ability to read lips. He translates the ghost boy’s verbiage and follows the Casper-esque tyke on a journey across town. Problem is, you’re not supposed to look in his opaque eyes or you’ll be converted into being dead. Okay, that just gooned me out.

Silk

At the journey’s end the lip-reader starts to piece together the clues surrounding the boy’s death. This involved the kid having MTS (multiple tumor syndrome and probably itchy butt), which leaves him with boils constantly boiling up on his face. The kids at school won’t be friends with little Yao (pronounced “Yeow!”), so he does a full gainer off the school roof. And hey, wasn’t that his mother outside urging him on?

Silk

While this is hitting the fan, the scientists, funded by a for-profit-only company, invent the Menger Sponge, which gives them the control over gravity. This all factors in, so be friggin’ patient. The head scientist is a cripple with an artificial leg and the other one rotting away like something that rots. He’s obsessed with the dead kid and the sponge as it holds the key to his own death wish, probably due to that leg thing.

Silk

As they get closer to the truth and actually locate the kid’s buried body, things get even more weird — i.e., a barely visible strand of a shiny substance that provides a trail to where the dead kid goes. This is where the Silk’s (2006) title comes from, the band of energy between the living and the dead. I would’a called it Hell Rope or Spooky Putty, but no one in the movies EVER listens to me.

Silk

Once the dead kid’s mother is found comatose in a hospital, the secret is unraveled. But something just happened — coma mom is now dead mom…and goes after anyone associated with her kid. This is where the sponge comes in. While it’s not to be used to clean off stuff (dishes, counter tops, blood gushing out of necks), it does allow the user to walk on the ceiling. (Upside down, without your keys falling out of your pocket because of that whole “manipulating gravity” thing.) It can also be used to “trap” the ghost kid. Now mom’s REALLY p*ssed.

Silk

This situation builds to a low-boil climax. But even though you might’ve been hoping for ghost mayhem and the eating of faces, it works more on your mind. The deleted scenes and alternate ending should’ve been left in as they’re pretty cool and a bit more bloody. Bloody’s good. Silk is eerie, not scary, like, I don’t know…a sponge, for instance. If you think about it long enough, those things can goon you out.

Med Students = Dead Students

Posted in Evil, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Red Mist

Red Mist (2009) was originally called Freakdog. That’s in reference to a mentally-stunted janitor guy who works at a hospital and self-mutilates while taking pictures of naked corpses instead of mopping up guts like he should be.

Red Mist

Fixating on one of the supermodel medical students, he follows her to a club where the other med students are socially relaxing with booze and drugs. They ridicule him and call him the original movie title. He threatens to bust them for pilfering the hospital’s stash. Oh, no – this could ruin all their careers and get them cut off from mom and dad’s credit cards. So no choice but to let him party with them.

Red Mist

But first a little mood enhancer: drugs mixed with alcohol. Goading him into shotgunning the lethal mixture, he goes into a spastic coma. In order to save their medical paychecks, they dump him outside the hospital and run away. Whew – all’s well that ends well and, uh, oh… He can’t be revived, so they’re gonna have to pull the plug. If you have overwhelming feelings of guilt and remorse, now would be the time to use ’em.

Red Mist

The supermodel does a load of homework and discovers a highly experimental drug combination that might revive him. It works. Kinda. Hopped up on goofers, the guy’s soul can leave his body and take over anyone else. NOW the party can resume, with each med student meeting an appropriate revenge agenda.

Red Mist

The graphic gore is suggested and not shown, which I feel is a mistake, because when you boil it all down, Red Mist is just another back-from-the-dead revenge flick. And there are, like, eight million of those. For a better medical horror movie, try Dr. Butcher, M.D. (1979). It’s what I prescribe.

I Was A Teenage Zombie

Posted in Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , on November 4, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Clive Barker's The Plague

All the world’s children (nine years and under) simultaneously go into a coma, thereby killing the entire baby-sitting industry overnight. For 10 years the children are tended to (fed, bathed, wiped) and though it’s not explained, the inert bodies go into foamy mouth convulsions every day at 10AM and 10PM. These seizures only last about a minute, but the sudsy rockin’ and rollin’ is getting stronger.

Clive Barker's The Plague

One day, the kids inexplicably wake up. Their eyes have dark circles and they look extremely pissed, probably due to a decade’s worth of bedsores. They go on a killing rampage, decimating the world’s adult population. (That behavior will get them sent to their rooms.)

Clive Barker's The Plague

But something else is happening to the brats – when one figures out how to disable a getaway car, they all know how, and become zombie mechanics. And when one picks up a gun and uses it, suddenly they all know how to pack heat. (Good thing one of ’em hasn’t learned how to fart.) This gives the mouth more time for chewing instead of communicating ideas and concepts related to the extracting of adult juices.

Clive Barker's The Plague

Some decently tense moments and a LOT of blood, thank you. For a made-for-TV sci-fi/horror flick (the DVD has more gore and audible four-letter words), Clive Barker’s The Plague (2006) is pretty darn original. (Sorry to invoke “darn,” but I did warn you there were four-letter words.)