Archive for college students

3-Headed Shark Attack

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

3-Headed Shark Attack

In the beginning here was Jaws (1975), a shark with but one head to bite you in half.

Then came 2-Headed Shark Attack in 2012. It was fake-y looking and appeared to be more of a stuffed animal than a twice-fold apex predator. It bit vacationing college students in half.

2-Headed Shark Attack

Now comes 3-Headed Shark Attack (July 11, 2015) with three times the appetite, looking to bite a bigger share of the ratings. The plot is your basic “line ’em up and chomp ”em down” scenario: “The world’s greatest killing machine is three times as deadly when a mutated shark threatens a cruise ship. As the shark eats its way from one end of the ship to the next, the passengers fight the deadly predator using anything they can find.”

3-Headed Shark Attack

Ugh. I could be in a shark’s belly for a week, crapped out onto a polluted beach, my gushy remains pecked at by seagulls, and still come up with a better plot than that. But hey, if a three-headed shark, which admittedly looks kinda cool, isn’t enough to sink yer boat, the “movie” also stars genre king Danny Trejo and pro-wrestling legend Mr. Monday Night – Rob Van Dam.

3-Headed Shark Attack

Wonder how 3-Headed Shark Attack would stand up against Japan’s Double-Headed Jaws (2012)? (Note: I think Double-Headed Jaws is the Japanese release of 2-Headed Shark Attack. Crappy movie, but way better title.)

Double-Headed Jaws

Even though a shark with any amount of heads could bite me in half, I’m really starting to feel sorry for what pop culture/Hollywood/you are doing to them.

Boo That Ghost

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Boo

An abandoned hospital decorated with “do not enter” signs and a chain link fence seems the most likely place to party and have sex. But would you go in there if you knew the place was haunted, specifically the third floor where a tragic fire happened years ago that left a bunch of people burnt to the point of being well done plus? Yep, me, too.

Boo

Some party/sex-minded college students break in to have a Halloween party and find they can’t get out and the aforementioned scary stuff is for real. It takes a while for the chills to fire up, but it gets fun once evil gets inside you and that cheap clothes rack you call a body is no longer your own.

Boo

The students are annoying (clichéd, but then there’s not a lot of new ground to break with college students in horror movies) and do the usual stupid stuff to piss off the dead. Boo (2005), with a ridiculously tacked-on title, features decent splatter and helps distract from a conventional plot. While the hospital setting is sufficiently creepy, watch The Frighteners (1996) for cooler (and way bloodier) haunted hospital scenes.

Boo

Big time spoiler: the evil character that’s causing everyone to have a not so fresh feeling day? He isn’t the only one who can come back from the dead. Like me, for example. I do it all the time.