Got some vampires, ghosts, tweener ghosts and slashers headed your way. Not real vampires, ghosts, tweener ghosts and slashers, mind you. Just movie ones. But keep an eye open, just in case.
STAKE LAND II (February 7, 2017 / digital, February 14 / DVD)
“Set several years after the events in Stake Land (2010), in which mankind must struggle to survive in the wake of a vampire apocalypse. When his home in New Eden is destroyed by a revitalized Brotherhood and its new Vamp leader, Martin finds himself alone in the badlands of America with only the distant memory of his mentor, the legendary vampire hunter Mister, to guide him. Roaming the wilderness of a steadily decaying country, Martin searches for the one man who can help him exact revenge.”
Revenge. Where would horror movies be without it? One of the best summations of revenge comes from City of Bones (2007) author Cassandra Clare’s first book in The Mortal Instruments series: “I don’t want tea,” said Clary, with muffled force. “I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them.”
“Unfortunately,” said Hodge, “we’re all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it’s either tea or nothing.”
Snap! I gotta use that line somewhere. Oh, wait — I just did.
SPECTRAL (December 9, 2016 / Netflix)
“When an otherworldly force wreaks havoc on a war-torn European city, an engineer teams up with an elite Special Ops unit to stop it.”
Now there’s a grand idea — get a bunch of Army guys to shoot guns at ghosts. Why not just whip out your AK-47 and unleash hell on Mr. Bubble™?
WAIT TILL HELEN COMES (out now / Lifetime, January 2017 / VOD)
“The story centers on a 12-year-old girl who’s the eldest of three children in a blended family that moves from Baltimore into a house converted from a church in the Maryland countryside. The tormented ghost of a little girl comes to haunt the 12-year-old, but forms an intimate, though dangerous, friendship with her seven-year-old stepsister.”
Warning: as this is airing on the Lifetime™ channel, it’s a family-friendly, watered down tale of the supernatural. Too bad; a little blood and guts never hurt anybody. Oh wait…
SLASHER.COM (2017)
“Slasher.com combines the time-honored tradition of young people facing unfathomable horrors in the wilderness with the every day horror of meeting people online, and puts a gruesome twist on the perils of modern dating.”
Slasher social media horror. Maybe they should rename it DeFacebook.com. Heh.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 