Archive for Chicago

Loch Ness Literature, Born Again Mummies, Religion Reimagined

Posted in Evil, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Loch: Heaven's Lake

Author Steve Alten is the writer who makes a living writing about giant sharks. In facto, his 1997 novel, Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror, was the inspiration for The Meg, the blockbuster 2018 hit monster shark movie that made a billion clams at the box office. You may have heard of it.

The Loch

The Loch, Alten’s 2005 novel, is optioned to be turned into a movie as well. I didn’t read the book, but I assume it has something to do with the Loch Ness Monster. (Maybe I should learn to read.)

Loch Ness Monster

Until that happens, Alten has an upcoming sequel to that book titled, The Loch: Heaven’s Lake. Here’s the synopsis: “Zachary Wallace travels to a mysterious lake situated in a crater atop a caldera in South China/North Korea after a series of monster sightings.”

The Meg

Sounds right up my inlet. You (or me) can pre-order the hardback version for $27.95 on SteveAlten.com. Other platforms will be available on Amazon.com. (Order it directly from Steve — Amazon doesn’t need the money.)

The Meg

Before you check your 401k to see if you have $27.95 in it, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not be as cool as hunting for monsters in any country with with or without flushing toilets…

The Mummy Reborn

THE MUMMY REBORN (April 4, 2019)
“A group of teens in financial ruin that decide to rob the local antique store of an ancient amulet. But what they don’t realize is that this tomb is cursed, and when the amulet is separated from it’s master he will do anything to get it back. Our burglars must save the day and return the Mummy to it’s tomb before it is too late to save the world.”

Not seeing a point here. Teens steals the Mummy’s bling and the Mummy self-resurrects to get them fitted for a Chicago overcoat (look it up). Isn’t this the same plot used for every Mummy movie ever made?

I Trapped The Devil

I TRAPPED THE DEVIL (April 26, 2019)
“When Matt and his wife Karen show up unannounced at the home of his estranged brother Steve to celebrate the holidays, they are instead greeted with a horrifying surprise: trapped in the basement is a man. But not just any man. Steve believes that his hostage is none other than the devil himself. As shock and skepticism turn to fear and paranoia, Matt and Karen find themselves facing a terrifying quandary: is Steve dangerously unhinged? Or could the mysterious stranger really be evil incarnate? Either way, the stage is set for a true Christmas from Hell.”

If you really want to trap the devil, just zip up your pants.

The Convent

THE CONVENT (May 3, 2019)
“In the early 17th century, innocent young Persephone is falsely accused and put on trial for her life. Her fate seems sealed except for the timely intervention of the mysterious Reverend Mother offering her not just sanctuary, but hope. For the Reverend Mother is the self-appointed leader of a small religious retreat, a secluded Priory, where her fellow Sisters devote their lives to the Lord and seek atonement for their pasts. But upon arrival, Persephone is plagued with terrifying visions and soon realizes that it’s not salvation that awaits but a battle for her very soul itself.”

Curious horror sub-genre, this evil nun stuff. Which begs the question — if nuns are evil, do they punish you for being nice?

Room For Rent

ROOM FOR RENT (May 3, 2019/Theaters | May 7, 2019 / VOD)
“Lonely widow Joyce rents out a room to make easy money. She meets mysterious drifter Bob and takes him in as a long-term tenant. She becomes obsessed with her much younger guest, making him the object of her deepest romantic fantasies. When a friend’s betrayal derails Joyce’s fantasy world, she seizes control of her own destiny with a deadly mission to finally get what she deserves.”

GMILF gone wild.

Artistic Horror, Getting High With Evil, Big Birds

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Stefan Koidl

Found some incredibly stunning horror/sci-fi art by shockingly talented Stefan Koidl. So visually disturbing are his paintings, the elegantly sick cool images could be made into horror movies.

Stefan Koidl

Stefan is a freelance illustrator/concept artist who lives in Hallein, Austria. I looked it up on Google Maps™. It’s kinda far from where I live. But you can visit his website on ArtStation.com by clicking HERE. It’s here you’ll find unique creatures, monsters, demons, robots and apocalyptic visions that usually accompany a Jägermeister binge.

Stefan Koidl

While you sober up, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not have you needing a shot or three of Jägermeister to get through…

Dark Light

DARK LIGHT (2019)
“Following her mother’s death and a painful divorce Annie and her daughter move back to her childhood home. At first, everything seems fine but then tragedy strikes again when on a foggy night Emily goes missing from her bedroom. Annie claims that she saw something come from the darkness and take Emily…a creature. Nobody believes her. But when Emily’s body is not found Annie becomes the prime suspect and is sent to a correctional hospital. Annie must now escape the hospital and return to the house to confront the creature that she believes has stolen her daughter.”

YET ANOTHER generic plot with a generic title. I tried to count how many movies had the word “dark” in it. Got up to one million before I lost track. So, like, figure one million and one.

The Hoard

THE HOARD (2019)
The Hoard is a comedy/horror mockumentary that chronicles the unraveling of a production team who are attempting to produce the ultimate reality TV show pilot ‘Extremely Haunted Hoarders’.”

Odd plot. How does haunting factor in with the hoarding stuff like old newspapers or snow globes? Maybe they’re being haunted by visions of a clutter-free home.

Head Count

HEAD COUNT (2019)
“During a weekend getaway to Joshua Tree, a group of teenagers find themselves under mental and physical assault from a supernatural entity that mimics their appearances as it completes an ancient ritual.”

Isn’t Joshua Tree where people go to take acid and open the doors of perception? I bet they’re just really high and are hallucinating the supernatural entity, which may or may not be the ghost of Jim Morrison.

Terror In The Skies

TERROR IN THE SKIES (2019/pending crowd-funding)
“Director Seth Breedlove explores hundreds of years of terrifying reports of encounters with massive winged creatures around the land of Lincoln. From Alton’s man-eating Lincoln legends to recent sightings in Chicago of a creature said to resemble Point Pleasant, West Virginia’s infamous Mothman, Terror in the Skies unlocks a centuries-old mystery.”

Man, I hope a massive winged creature doesn’t crap on my car.

UFO Engineering, Mothman Sightings, Demon Trackers

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Mothman

Just in time to distract us from a seemingly endless string of horrifying, political news cycles the creepy yet cool, Mothman returns to flitter around the spotlight.

According to a recent article on AbsoluteHistory.com, Mothman was not only seen but photographed. Here’s what the article, written by 1636wpczar, had to report…

Mothman

“It had been a Friday night like any other in Chicago for John Amitrano. As he took a step outside the bar where he was working, however, he apparently noticed something strange in the sky above him. And according to Amitrano, the figure looked just like an ominous creature that people have been claiming to see in the U.S. for the past 50 years.”

Mothman Museum

Mothman was in Chicago and was spotted by a guy leaving a bar? Doesn’t sound suspicious to me at all.

Old Style

While we all share a few gallons of Chicago’s Old Style™ (canned beer that tastes like a cryptid p*ssed in it — oddly, not a bad thing) and stagger out and look for the ominous creatures, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci documentaries/movies that may or may not look better when viewed under the influence of a few gallons of Old Style™…

Bob Lazar: Area 51 and Flying Saucers

BOB LAZAR: AREA 51 & FLYING SAUCERS (available now)
Former Government physicist Bob Lazar made headlines world-wide in 1989 when he came forward with his account of reverse-engineering an alien spacecraft for the U.S. Military. His testimony remains the most controversial and important UFO story of all time. The documentary explores Lazar’s groundbreaking claims and the devastating impact it has had on his life over the course of the last thirty years, including rare and never before revealed footage guaranteed to alter the landscape of the debate. He blew the whistle, shocked the world, then went silent — until now.

I’ve heard Bob Lazar’s story for some time now and I believe he not only worked on reverse-engineering captured UFOs, but actually got inside one and poked around. I only have one question: what was in the flying saucer’s glove compartment? The truth is out there and I want to believe.

Brutal Bigfoot

BRUTAL BIGFOOT (available now)
“Join the Searching for Bigfoot field team – led by ‘The Godfather of Bigfoot‘ Tom Biscardi, as they get more than they bargained for when investigating the disappearance of a hiker and the mutilation of a couple deep in the remote Arkansas countryside. During their search, Tom and his team are led to a top secret nuclear testing facility and mutated creatures that reportedly inhabit the woods surrounding the compound. Along the way they gain the unwanted attention of unknown government agents who watch their every move as they search for the truth behind brutal deaths and strange disappearances that are rumored to involve a very large creature.

This one came out a short whilst ago, but it slipped past my radar, mostly due to the fact Tom Biscardi is involved. The self-proclaimed “Godfather of Bigfoot” has been involved in several high-profile, epic FAIL Bigfoot hoaxes in the past and is pretty much a loudmouth out there once again trying to cash in on Bigfoot’s good name. Did it work? Scorecard: Bigfoot: 3 / Tom Biscardi: 0.

Demon's Path

DEMON’S PATH (December 22, 2018)
“The series follows a forensic pathologist who has the ability to see the last 10-seconds of life of the dead. Working together with a friendly exorcist and a policeman, they solve homicide cases. But as their investigations proceed, they become the target of a murderer.”

Never saw any of this popular series as it’s done in Hong Kong and my TV can’t reach that far. I think I need a bigger antennae (hold your jokes, please). The premise, though, seems to borrow from iZombie, wherein a zombie pathologist eats the brains of corpses brought into the coroner’s office and she adopts the personality traits of the dead personage and gets flashbacks as to how that personage died and who died ‘em.

The Demonologist

THE DEMONOLOGIST (January 1, 2019)
A detective is haunted by nightmares of his past and visions he cannot understand. When he investigates a string of brutal murders, he discovers a Cult that worships the four King Demons of Hell, who plan on bringing them forth to destroy the Earth. He must stop the Cult from starting the Apocalypse and finally come to grips with his birthright and destiny as The Demonologist.

Sounds like a rearranging of The Last Witch Hunter (2015) starring Vin Diesel. Man, that movie stunk as bad as a brutal Bigfoot.

Underwater Love, Ancient Alligator, Rehab Werewolf

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, UFOs, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Aquaman

They — and I have no idea who “they” are — just released a slew (from the Irish Gaelic sluagh, meaning “multitude”) of Aquaman (December 21, 2018) character posters, one even including Aquaman himself wearing his classic DC Comics™ orange/green scaly costume. Not sure how I feel about that since showing Aquaman swimming around in leather pants in Justice League (2017) was somewhat…intriguing.

Black Manta/King Nereus

Love the new posters: Black Manta (with the football shape of his head, how does he keep headphones from slipping off?), King Nereus on a seahorse (I got mine from the back of a comic book), Queen Atlanna (I would totally bow to her bathing suit area any day), and Princess Mera, Aquaman’s on/off girlfriend. (Wonder if she could give me swimming lessons? I’d pretend to drown so she’d have to perform mouth-to-mouth on me — for, like a half hour, followed by a refreshing adult beverage, some seafood appetizers and a little skinny dipping — not necessarily in that order.)

Queen Atlanna / Princess Mera

While I go shopping for a new swim suit that doesn’t zip up the back, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be as tasty as Clams Casino

Crocodylus

CROCODYLUS (2018)
“A dark secret is unearthed by a local farmer. Local paleontologists reveal its the remains of a prehistoric monster Crocodylus. It’s trible seal has been broken unleashing terror upon the local towns people.”

As bat-sh*t crazy as the world seems to be right now, you know we’re okay when we get another giant crocodile movie. Let’s hope this croc has a taste for politicians. That would be ironic as politicians tend to leave a sour taste in one’s mouth/gaping jaws of doom.

Among The Shadows

AMONG THE SHADOWS (2018/2019)
Kristy Wolfe is a Brussels private eye descended from werewolves who must go to work when her uncle Harry Goldtsone is murdered in a politically-motivated attack. Patricia Sherman, the wife of European Federation President Richard Sherman, hires Wolfe to investigate Goldstone’s killing, as he was her husband’s campaign manager. Wolfe finds bodies falling all over city and must use her innate instincts to unravel the case and stay alive long enough unmask the conspiracy.”

Two things: werewolf movie = neato. Secondly, waaay too much plot getting in the way of fur where there was no fur before. (Yeah, I used that joke before — I’m sure you’ll find a way to get over it.)

Captive State

CAPTIVE STATE (March 29, 2019)
“Set in a Chicago neighborhood nearly a decade after an occupation by an extraterrestrial force, Captive State explores the lives on both sides of the conflict — the collaborators and dissidents.”

Aliens becoming our master overlords. Y’know this might make for a good TV series as well. They could call it Alien Nation or V or Falling Skies or The Invaders or Earth: Final Conflict or…

STARFISH (2019)
A young woman who struggles with the death of her best friend while trying to assemble a series of clues left on mixtapes in order to stop a monstrous end to the world as we know it.”

It figures the end of the world would end up on mixtapes. Who made this film — some dumbass dorm student who thinks social media is a substitute for actually having a real life?

Restored Zombies, Giant Animals, Predictable Slashers

Posted in Bigfoot, Evil, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 16, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Night of the Living Dead

If you’re not doing anything on February 13, 2018, you can buy Criterion’s 4k digital restoration of Night of the Living Dead. Yeah, we’ve all seen the movie a billion times. But this one comes with new snazzy features, like the never-before-seen 16mm dailies reel, new programs about the editing, the score, and directing ghouls and an essay by film critic Stuart Klawans. There’s lots more, but this is already starting to feel like a to-do list.

While we impatiently wait to see YET ANOTHER repackage of the same movie we’ve seen a billion times, here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies you that you may or may not watch a billion times…

American Bigfoot

AMERICAN BIGFOOT (aka, Kampout/available now)
“Enraged by the murder of it’s offspring, a Bigfoot rampages through the countryside of Southeast Ohio. Detective Benson, Ranger Thomas and Bigfoot researcher Hank scramble to locate the legendary creature before it attacks a group of teenagers on a camping trip in an isolated place called Kampout.”

Of course Bigfoot’s an American. So much so, I’m surprised his fur isn’t red, brown and blue. And whoever killed the Bigkid, deserves to taste the business end of an American boot.

The Strangers: Prey At Night

THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT (March, 2018)
“A family’s road trip takes a dangerous turn when they arrive at a secluded mobile home park to stay with some relatives and find it mysteriously deserted. Under the cover of darkness, three masked psychopaths pay them a visit to test the family’s every limit as they struggle to survive.”

Second verse, same as the first. Surprised as to why it’s taken 10 years to barf up a sequel. Not surprised that all they did was move the location and slap a limp biscuit of a title on it.

Rampage

RAMPAGE (April 20, 2018)
“The first privately owned space station is destroyed by a mysterious experiment done on board. Three canisters from the crash land on Earth. One lands in the gorilla enclosure at the San Diego Zoo, the other in the plains of Wyoming and the last one in the Florida Everglades. The Griffin Technologies Group, headed by two siblings, tries to destroy any evidence of wrongdoing before the government finds out. It’s too late because the canisters have infected a gorilla named George, a wolf in Wyoming and an alligator. They start evolving and growing exponentially. To cover their tracks, the Griffin idiots decide to unleash a beacon that will make all three large animals head toward one destination: their head office located in the Willis Tower in Chicago.”

A giant gorilla, wolf and alligator. King Kong and Crocosaurus should sue for face infringement. As for the giant forest dog, good luck finding a proportional fire hydrant.

Fantastic Beats: The Crimes of Grindelwald

FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD (November 16, 2018)
Grindelwald had escaped from the Wizard Cops and is preparing to build up his evil army. Young Dumbledore will enlist his favorite student, Newt, to help fight said army. Tragic and powerful Credence has possibly been turned to the dark side, though he seemed pretty annoyed when Grindelwald betrayed him.”

Another money-printing Harry Potter prequel. Too bad the press release just spoiled it by telling us Grindelwald got away from the Wizard Cops. I wanted to be the one to do it.

Urban UFOs, Brain Quakes, Serial Killing Seafood

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Top 25 Cities for UFOs

Recently read an interesting article by columnist Cheryl Costa on the Syracuse New Times website listing the Top 25 cities for UFO sightings across the U.S., from 2001— 2015. Phoenix, AZ tops the carts with 929 sightings and Kansas City comes in last at an embarrassing (to the Chamber of Commerce, anyway) 294 reported glimpses of unidentified flying objects. The irony here is that Syracuse doesn’t even make the list. That’s just shameful.

On a happier note, Seattle, home of ME, sits smugly on the list at #3, with 616 sightings. It would’ve been around 700, but the UFO hotline got tired of me calling in every blinking light in the sky. So what if I live by two airports (Boeing Field/Sea-Tac Airport)? Maybe they were planes…or maybe they were extraterrestrial spaceships looking to goof with my brain pan. Still a valid call on my part.

Seattle

Other UFO hotspot cities include Chicago, Portland, Los Angeles and Manhattan. So if you live in one of those places, keep watching the skies. If you don’t, then don’t. Not up for craning your neck skyward for hours on end? Lower your head to TV level and watch for these upcoming horror/sci-fi movies, which, for the most part, are identifiable…

Mindblown

MINDBLOWN (available now/VOD)
“A team of telekinetics — code-named Project Mindblown — has been secretly assembled in a high-tech facility. Their minds have the power to shake the Earth — or bring rain to drought-starved areas. They’ve been told their abilities will be used to do good for humanity. But when evidence suggests that the group has been tricked into causing destruction in U.S. cities, one team member goes rogue, racing against time to uncover a deadly conspiracy.”

Man, it’d be so cool to have the power to make things shake and quake. For instance, you could walk into a glass and ceramics novelty gift shop, fart really loud, and then make the whole room shake an off-balanced washer and/or dryer. Then say something like, “Wow, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that fourth burrito…” Hilarity, I tell you.

Totem

TOTEM (October 31, 2017/VOD)
“A teen must resort to extreme measures to protect her family from a supernatural entity.”

Kind of an oxymoron — aren’t teens already supernatural entities? So what extreme measures is this teen gonna resort to? Making body-shaming taunts and posting embarrassing photos of the entity on social media? Or maybe she’ll trick it into smearing itself with glitter lipstick so it’ll look totally uncool at the school dance.

The Envelope

THE ENVELOPE (November 30, 2017/Russia)
“A strange envelope is delivered to an architect bureau by mistake. Igor, a driver, gets the task to bring it to the right address. From that moment his life becomes a string of paranormal events. The cursed letter invades Igor’s life and leads him to a mysterious addressee.”

They’re still naming horror movie characters “Igor”? That’s like giving Tom Cruise the name “Jack” in all his movies. As for the strange envelope, it’s probably a rent increase notice. (Last one I got was covered in frowny-face stickers.)

The Crescent

THE CRESCENT (2017/2018)
“A mother and her toddler son struggle to find spiritual healing after an unexpected death in the family. All the while, a mysterious force from the sea threatens to tear their souls apart.”

I bet you anything the mysterious force from the sea is a clam. Those things are loaded with terror. When you crack one open, it either looks like an alien face-hugger or a freshly blown nose. Or both.

Punk Ghosts, Bear Traps and Real Werewolves

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, UFOs, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 8, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Teenage Ghost Punk

Been making a few videos to post on my new YouTube™ Channel. Three are promo clips for this here blog thingie and one is about UFOs, which are REAL by the way. Click HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE to be dazzled by the visuals.

While I’m on the subject, here are some brand new and upcoming horror visuals to rub your eyes on…

TEENAGE GHOST PUNK (available now)
Life changes for a cheerleader named Amanda when her family moves to an old Victorian house outside Chicago. Weird things happen in the new house: knocking sounds, strange guitar riffs in the rain and unexplained messes. A quirky medium and a bumbling paranormal investigation team search for answers but are scared away an unseen force.”

Sounds like my apartment, except I’m not a ghost (yet). When I play my guitar, the neighbors like it so much, they pound on the wall to keep time with my music. I’d like my neighbors if I didn’t hate them so much.

Dark Signal

DARK SIGNAL (June 2, 2017)
Deep in the heart of the isolated Welsh valleys, an eerie hush spreads throughout the deserted wilds. On lookout for her boyfriend and left trembling in the middle of a secluded forest, she quickly realizes she is not alone. With her is the vengeful spirit of a murdered girl.

And this is why I don’t go wandering around Welsh valleys. I hear those things are loaded with vengeful spirits. (A ghost, not a bottle of mean booze, though that would make being lost less of a priority.)

Countrycide

COUNTRYCIDE (2017)
“A woman is lost, alone in the woods with a bear trap on her leg. It is a matter of survival as she must combat the elements, her pain and predators of both the two and four legged variety.”

Is this the same woman from the above paragraph? With a bear trap clamped on her leg, we probably won’t be seeing her any time soon on Dancing With The Stars.

Bonehill Road

BONEHILL ROAD (2017)
Bonehill Road is an homage to classic monster films like The Howling and An American Werewolf In London. In some ways, it is a throwback to the films we grew up with…the real horror movies that we all love so much, and in another way it is a modern horror flick that uses old school techniques, including Practical Monster Effects. NO CGI at all here. Our goal is to make an exciting, scary monster movie with some really cool werewolves.”

This is being crowd-funded as we speak. A few thoughts: Great title. Secondly, about flippin’ time we got a new werewolf movie. (The last good one I saw was Howl back in 2015.) And bonus points for making the werewolf real and not a sucky digital version. A computer-generated wolf-man is right up there with EDM on the suck scale.