Archive for Castilian

Ultra Dead

Posted in Aliens, Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ultra Man

While not a movie, this particular TV episode of 1966’s Ultra Man was unique in that our building tall hero dies while trying to save the world from extraterrestrial-filled flying saucers. That, and it’s black and white (all of his shows were in color) and dubbed into Castilian (think Gomez Addams) and televised in Argentina in the ’70s. Also, the characters are Japanese. The only word that sums this up is WTF?

Ultra Man

Quick history lesson: Ultraman is part of a race of galaxy guardians from the M78 Nebula, or Land of Light. (They probably don’t need light bulbs or flashlights.) These guys have awesome powers and promote peace across the Universe. Good luck with that – the citizens of Uranus are a bunch of a-holes/b-holes.

Ultra Man

So a fleet of UFOs invade our personal space, blowing up fighter jets with destructo beams. One lands, pops its top, and a giant balloon inflates. Once it ka-BOOMS, there stands an equal-in-Ultraman height bug-esque alien creature that uses beams to blast our real estate and his foe.

Ultra Man

Ultraman arrives seemingly out of nowhere and does battle with the alien butt wad. But wait, the wad creature is resistant to Ultraman’s tricks of the trade and throws it back at him two-fold. How embarrassing is that?

Ultra Man

As Ultraman is rendered inert and falls face first like a stiff surfboard, he goes into a death dream where he’s fighting Godzilla and some other weirdo monster, and beating the scales off them. Happy trails, Ultraman.

Ultra Man

Then, out of the freakin’ sky, another Ultraman coming to claim the carcass of his fellow countryman. Planking in mid-air, this Ultraman spins super fast and uses the giant meteor/space ship to suck up the remains of the dying Ultraman. (He’s been alive for 20,000 years, so no regrests – it was a good run.)

There are other Ultramen in this meteor office space and, after a few choice words in Castilian, transports the corpse off to the Land of Light while the Science Patrol wave and yell goodbye: “Ootra Mon – Sayonara!”

Dry your eyes, for there are entire Nebuli full of replacement parts.