Archive for Carrie

Chinese Spider-Men, Canadian Zombies, Norway Mutants

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Been endlessly fascinated by foreign country poster versions of U.S. made movies, in particular, horror/sci-fi/fantasy/bromance comedies. Came across three Spider-Man: Homecoming key art renditions made in China. Pretty funny stuff, especially the one of Spider-Man riding a horse. I don’t know why, but that cracks me up. Got me thinking — wonder if there’s a foreign movie poster of, say, Iron Man pulling a rikshaw through downtown Thailand?

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Whilst I go rummaging through the Internet to find one, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies with plain old boring graphics…

Dementia 13

DEMENTIA 13 (October 6, 2017/Limited — October 10/VOD)
“An old-money family is still dealing with the death of its youngest daughter several years later. While honoring the daughter’s death, a long con, an ax-wielding serial killer, and a vengeful ghost all coalesce in the same night to target the family. Everyone in the family has a secret, nobody wants to face what they did, and for someone to survive, the truth needs to come out — sooner than later.”

Dementia 13

This is a re-boot of 1963’s Dementia 13. The actors in the new one are probably wearing more modern footwear, though. Always loved the title. I personally got through the first 12 steps of dementia, but never quite made it one more step. Probably should go on another bender to open that door.

Les Affames

LES AFFAMÉS (2017/2018)
In a small, remote village in upstate Quebec, things have changed. Locals are not the same anymore — their bodies are breaking down and they developed an outlandish attraction for flesh.

A French-Canadian zombie movie. Wonder if the flesh tastes like back bacon? I consulted the Big Book of Word Barf (i.e., Google Translate™) to get the English pronounceable version: The Hungry. Meh.

Thelma

THELMA (November 10, 2017)
“A college student starts to experience extreme seizures while studying at a university in Oslo, Norway. As it becomes clearer that the seizures are a symptom of inexplicable, often dangerous, supernatural abilities, Thelma is confronted with tragic secrets of her past, and the terrifying implications of her powers.

Sounds like Carrie Goes To College. I wonder if her condition is from eating seizure salads in the school lunch room?

Insidious: The Last Key

INSIDIOUS: THE LAST KEY (January 5, 2018)
Dr. Elise Rainier, the brilliant parapsychologist, faces her most fearsome and personal haunting yet: in her own family home.”

I watched the first three Insidious movies, so guess I’ll have to watch this one, too, just to see how they tie things up. As demonic possession ghost stories go, though, they’re all quite bland, or “meh.”

Kaijus, Bigfoot and Future Cephalopods

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

 

Colossal

The butt-numbing cold and saturating winter rain of 2017 in Seattle has been conducive to staying indoors and watching horror movies. You could couch out to other types of movies, but horror/sci-fi seems to vibe with the doom and gloom outside. While there are no sharknadoes or lavalantulas shooting out of our local volcanoes (we have several), just the thought of going outside and getting my hair messed up by the wind and/or rain goons me out. Call me indoor face. I’ll come out of my burrow when the sun arrives, which is usually around July.

Here’s some upcoming bad weather movies to watch indoors…

Colossal

COLOSSAL (April, 2017)
“A woman moves back home after losing her job and being dumped by her boyfriend. Her life takes a sudden turn when a giant kaiju-like creature appears in South Korea and she begins to suspect she may be connected to it.”

The trailer makes this one look like a comedy. Giant monsters are not funny, dang it. Unless its the Giant Claw, who looks like a puppet made by someone on drugs. The hook for Colossal is that whatever the main chick (Anne Hathaway) does, the monster mimics it. Let’s hope she doesn’t start doing kegels.

Attack of the Cyber Ocotpuses

ATTACK OF THE CYBER OCTOPUSES (Kickstarter/in-progress)
Neo-Berlin, 2079. A dark, rain-soaked city held by mega corporations where the only enjoyment in life is connecting to cyberspace and taking ‘Binary Trip,’ a cyber drug that fries your neurons but promises a feeling better than a hundred orgasms at once. In this setting, a team of crack cyberspace detectives are investigating a new menace: an army of cyber octopuses that are terrorizing the city.”

This one’s trying to crowd-fund its way into your hearts and homes as of this posting. Checking under the couch cushions for spare bitcoins. I’d donate real money, but I live in Seattle, which is built around the super wet Elliott Bay, which is teeming with our own octopuses. They’re quite friendly. Just be careful when petting them; They might act all buddy-buddy and squishy, but while they’re hugging you, one of their spare arms always goes for the wallet.

Laundry Man

LAUNDRY MAN (Available now/Amazon Prime/VOD)
Laundry Man is the story about a clumsy serial killer. It is partly based on the crimes committed by American serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer and those committed by the Belgian-Hungarian pastor, Andras Pandy.”

Watched the trailer — more splatter on the platter. The main chick appears to not be wearing a bra. As such, you’ll need permission from your parent(s) or legal guardian(s) to watch this. Wonder where they got the idea for their ad art? Seems vaguely familiar…

Carrie

Primal Rage: The Legend of Oh-Mah

PRIMAL RAGE: THE LEGEND OF OH-MAH (post-production/2017)
“A newly reunited young couple’s drive through the Pacific Northwest turns into a nightmare as they are forced to face nature, unsavory locals, and a monstrous creature known to the Native Americans as Oh-Mah.”

I live in the Pacific Northwest. How dare you call we locals unsavory? We’re loaded with savor. As for the monstrous creature Oh-Mah, never heard of him/her/it. Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Wood Ape/Harry Henderson, of course. But this other pretender to the throne should do what we tell tourists to do — buy our locally made goods and then get the truck outta here. A little rough? Nope. For us it’s quite savory.

S’Carrie

Posted in Classic Horror, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Carrie

As everybody in the freakin’ world (except that one cable-less town just outside of the Antarctic) knows, Carrie (1976) is a modern horror classic about a bullied wallflower high school girl with blossoming telekinetic powers being set up for the world’s best Candid Camera prank, one that ends in screaming as opposed to laughing.

Carrie

Carrie, based on a story by Stephen King (whoever he is), has numerous horror icon moments, from the Pig Blood Prom, to the entire graduating class of 1976 getting their degrees (Fahrenheit), to the religious freak mom getting the point of what knives are really good for, and the iconic shock ending scene that’s been copied one million billion times by everyone – except me.

Carrie

Even though she could snap my spine with her mind, I’d still ask Carrie to the dance, mostly because she looks good in red.

Kung fu Scarecrow

Posted in Evil, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , on June 3, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Scarecrow

Scarecrow (2002) is YET ANOTHER horror movie to use the Carrie (1976) theme of an outcast student who obtains supernatural powers to exact terrifying revenge on those that made fun of him and/or wouldn’t invite him to any of their heavy metal vomit parties.

Scarecrow

The twist here is that the kid gets killed to death by his white trash mom’s new drunk boyfriend (who, just moments before, was porking ’ol mom in the trailer), and comes back reincarnated as a wisecracking scarecrow. Makes sense. As the protector of all things corn-on-the-cob, the scarecrow hacks and chops his enemies to mulch. [Insert yawn here.]

Scarecrow

Where they really dropped the melon is by giving the scarecrow acrobatic skills; he jumps and flips around as if an extra in a kung fu movie. That, and they didn’t make him very tall. Even his mom – who is horizontal most of the time – is bigger than he is. You’d think Scarecrow would stuff his shoes with all that straw he has laying around. Worse, the puns he cracks before each kill are more tired than the plot.

Scarecrow

The only scares this scarecrow delivers are to the crows that would crap on his crops.

Werewoman

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

When Animals Dream

I suppose if I were to be an animal (more than I already am – heh), I’d probably go with being a werewolf. Think of the advantages: Never have to get a haircut. Stay out all night. Scare the “for sale” sign into your neighbors. Pee on anything. Sure, there’s probably drawbacks, but other than fleas, I can’t think of any right now.

The girl in the upcoming movie When Animals Dream is a werewolf. I think being a werewoman might be more of a challenge for chicks: Hairy legs. No dress would fit. Eat meat and never taste another salad. Can’t sit down to pee. Yep, they call it “Wolf-Man” for a reason. Sexist? Yeah, probably.

In When Animals Dream (due out August 8, 2015 theaters/ On Demand), a young girl is hunted down by those living in her town when it’s revealed she’s a werewolf.

When Animals Dream

“It’s a coming-of-age horror film set in a secluded fishing village of Denmark about a young girl falling in love and discovering she’s a werewolf by her mother at the same time as she gets hunted down by the villagers.” She might want to talk to Frankenstein’s monster for some survival tips.

When Animals Dream is also described as Let The Right One In meets Carrie. Cool – there’s some blood on the horizon. Which begs the sexist question: If blood, which is like catnip to a werewolf, what happens when a female werewolf gets her other monthly cycle? Talk about the ultimate psycho b*tch. Your strategy? Leave town.

P.S. Over the ages there have been many a female werewolf. Start with She-Wolf of London (1946) and go from there.

She-Wolf of London

Halloween – Just In Time For Christmas

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Trick or Treat

Decidedly evil (though recently deceased) rock star Sammi Curr speaks to a dysfunctional headbanger teen by means of your ordinary, run-of-the-mill back-masked heavy metal record. (Note to those who don’t know what a record album is: It’s like a plastic MP3 but with credits.)

Trick or Treat

Being dead, however, doesn’t keep hammy Sammi from playing a Halloween concert at the high school he graduated from for some Carrie-esque styled revenge in 1986’s blackened Trick or Treat.

Trick or Treat

Sammi looks like Poison’s CC Deville, who looks like Phyllis Diller, but with more crack, alcohol and eyeliner. KISSGene Simmons makes a cameo as does Ozzy Osbourne playing a preacher, denouncing heavy metal. (Note to organized religion: You’ve been punked.)

Trick or Treat