Archive for Carcharodon megalodon

Literary Sharks, Cured Zombies, The Horror of Motels

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Meg: Generations

The question isn’t “who wants a poster of a giant shark?”, but rather who doesn’t want a poster of a giant shark?” (Every home should be outfitted with one.)

Meg: Revised

You can get said enlarged Carcharodon megalodon image if you’re one of the first 2,500 people to buy the book Meg: Generations (sixth in a series) by best-selling author Steve Alten. Like a fisherman with something on the hook, there’s a catch — the book has to sell 10,000 copies before the first 2,500 who pre-ordered, will get the glossy 24”x36” shark poster (hopefully rolled, not folded).

Meg: Hell's Aquarium

Here’s the book’s premise: “The story picks up after MEG: Nightstalkers (2016) with David Taylor in the Salish sea attempting to locate and rescue any surviving Megalodon pups before a local fisherman slaughters them. Meanwhile, Jonas is coerced into joining an expedition into the Panthalassa sea in search of a prehistoric predatory species possessing liver enzymes that can cure cancer.”

Meg: Primal Waters

A cure for cancer is cool. But the poster will cure boring walls. The book, in hardback form and not covered in shark skin as hoped, is available for pre-order by March 15, 2018. And if you buy the MEG 7 package, Steve will autograph your copy. I guess that’s neat, but I’d much rather have the poster signed by the shark. (Since sharks don’t have hands per say, simple chomp marks will suffice.)

The Friendless Shark

While you rush to Amazon.com to pre-order, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not bite…

Family Possessions

FAMILY POSSESSIONS (available now)
Rachael Dunn, a young girl, inherits the mansion of her estranged grandmother. Rachael and her family move into the house to start a new life, but once there strange and unexplained occurrences begin to happen. Rachael uncovers a secret that had been hidden from her and she soon realizes that some family secrets should remain…buried.”

I should inherit this mansion because I’m the family secret. And those “strange and unexplained” occurrences? Just me shampooing the carpet at 3:15AM. And no, that’s not a metaphor.

Looking Glass

LOOKING GLASS (February 16, 2018)
“Ray must save his wife and himself from a gruesome secret connected to a motel and the strange people who visit there.”

Possible spoiler: the gruesome secret in the motel is that they never wash the sheets. Ick doesn’t even begin to describe the horror.

The Cured

THE CURED (February 23, 2018)
What happens when the undead return to life? In a world ravaged for years by a virus that turns the infected into zombie-like cannibals, a cure is at last found and the wrenching process of reintegrating the survivors back into society begins. Among the formerly afflicted is Senan, a young man haunted by the horrific acts he committed while infected. Welcomed back into the family of his widowed sister-in-law, Senan attempts to restart his life — but is society ready to forgive him and those like him? Or will fear and prejudice once again tear the world apart?”

So what if you ate brain flesh when you were a zombie? That’s what zombies are supposed to do. It’s like the dumbass things you do when you’re drunk and then later sober up going, “Okay, who do I need to apologize to?” Own it.

Snowflake

SNOWFLAKE (2018)
Snowflake takes place in a Berlin set in the near future as gang members hunt down the murderer of their families and find themselves trapped inside a nightmarish fairytale contained within a screenplay written by a demented dentist. En route to justice, the individuals get sucked into a vicious circle of revenge and must contend with a cast of wicked characters ranging from assassins to madmen to a blood-soaked angel.”

I’ve hear the term “snowflake” tossed around a lot since the election, so I looked it up. Snowflake is “a term for someone who thinks they are unique and special, but really are not.” Which begs the question: can snowflakes be orange?