Archive for bug

Sharks and Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Alien

A few amazing Alien movie posters created by designer David Graham, the guy behind those crazy wicked Meg (giant shark) key art. (I hope they use those art pieces for the final product — whenever if gets here — as they are pant-fillingly awesome.

Quick synopsis of the movies represented:

Alien

In Alien (1979), a guy goes to eat some space eggs, one hatches and a creature squirts out and affixes itself to the man’s facial face, goes down the hungry astronaut’s throat, where it grows to the point of the man throwing it up out of his chest. The bug later grows to pro basketball player size and dribbles acid all over the spaceship Nostromo and its crew. It doesn’t end well for anybody, to say nothing of putting you off on space eggs for breakfast. (Space toast remains a neutral breakfast choice.)

Meg

In Meg (in production as of right this minute), the world’s biggest shark (think submarine with gills) comes up from the bottom of the ocean to eat boats (crunchy), people (soft, but loud) and the military (like warheads are gonna stop a shark the size of a couple of buses Evel Knievel could jump over.) Now that I think about it, if he were alive, Evel Knievel would have made a fortune jumping his motorcycle over a giant stuntman eating shark in the greatest PPV of all time.

I would pay hard to see that.

Ultra Dead

Posted in Aliens, Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ultra Man

While not a movie, this particular TV episode of 1966’s Ultra Man was unique in that our building tall hero dies while trying to save the world from extraterrestrial-filled flying saucers. That, and it’s black and white (all of his shows were in color) and dubbed into Castilian (think Gomez Addams) and televised in Argentina in the ’70s. Also, the characters are Japanese. The only word that sums this up is WTF?

Ultra Man

Quick history lesson: Ultraman is part of a race of galaxy guardians from the M78 Nebula, or Land of Light. (They probably don’t need light bulbs or flashlights.) These guys have awesome powers and promote peace across the Universe. Good luck with that – the citizens of Uranus are a bunch of a-holes/b-holes.

Ultra Man

So a fleet of UFOs invade our personal space, blowing up fighter jets with destructo beams. One lands, pops its top, and a giant balloon inflates. Once it ka-BOOMS, there stands an equal-in-Ultraman height bug-esque alien creature that uses beams to blast our real estate and his foe.

Ultra Man

Ultraman arrives seemingly out of nowhere and does battle with the alien butt wad. But wait, the wad creature is resistant to Ultraman’s tricks of the trade and throws it back at him two-fold. How embarrassing is that?

Ultra Man

As Ultraman is rendered inert and falls face first like a stiff surfboard, he goes into a death dream where he’s fighting Godzilla and some other weirdo monster, and beating the scales off them. Happy trails, Ultraman.

Ultra Man

Then, out of the freakin’ sky, another Ultraman coming to claim the carcass of his fellow countryman. Planking in mid-air, this Ultraman spins super fast and uses the giant meteor/space ship to suck up the remains of the dying Ultraman. (He’s been alive for 20,000 years, so no regrests – it was a good run.)

There are other Ultramen in this meteor office space and, after a few choice words in Castilian, transports the corpse off to the Land of Light while the Science Patrol wave and yell goodbye: “Ootra Mon – Sayonara!”

Dry your eyes, for there are entire Nebuli full of replacement parts.

Zombie Ghost Bug

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Virus of the Dead

A viral zombie, a demon ghost, a mouth bug. That’s what’s new on your horror movie horizon. Or, if you’re not into those kinds of things, nothing is on your horizon. Nothing at all. Welcome to boring.

Virus of the Dead (releasing in the UK on August 29, 2015) comes with a twist – the entire thing was shot on smartphones, webcams and video logs (or “vlogs”).  This is an anthology with each of the 18 segments only lasting five minutes each.  Good thing Virus of the Dead is about zombies or they’d have to call it V/H/S (2012).

Before I Wake

Up next is Before I Wake (2015) in which a couple who lost their young son to the clutches of death, go to a little boy pet shop (or “adoption agency”) and get a replacement. Slight problem with this model – his dreams and nightmares manifest physically as he sleeps. Pffft – in my youth they called that wetting the bed. Before I Wake looks to cash in on the onslaught of generic wetting-your-pants ghost movies currently scaring tweeners in mall cineplexes.

Bite

This one’s kind of icky. In Bite (2015), Casey, a bride-to-be at her bachelorette party getaway, gets a seemingly harmless bite from an unknown insect. Soon she starts exhibiting insect like traits. Between her physical transformation and her wedding anxiety, Casey succumbs to her new instincts and begins creating a hive that not only houses her translucent eggs, but feeds on the flesh of others.

Translucent eggs. I wonder how many breakfasts would be ruined by a serving of those, bug embryos or not. Still, cook anything in enough butter and it’ll taste good.