Archive for Bruce Campbell

My Name Is Evil

Posted in Evil, Misc. Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

My Name Is Bruce

The legendary Bruce Campbell stars as himself in My Name Is Bruce (2007), or rather the version of himself as the star of The Evil Dead (1981).

My Name Is Bruce

Kidnapped by a horror fan teenager and brought to the small mining town of Gold Lick, Oregon to do battle with Guan-di, a Chinese demon god of war, Bruce thinks it’s all a gag being played on him as a birthday present from his manager.

My Name Is Bruce

Guan-di is protecting the souls of 100 dead Chinese immigrants who died in a mining disaster one million years ago, and he does this by slicing off the heads of anyone within the zip code of his scythe. Bruce, all the while, thinks it’s all a joke and wise-cracks his way through the party, referring to the town as a “fart hole” and offering a hot chick a chance to play with his “boom stick.”

My Name Is Bruce

Non-stop of laugh-out-loud moments, with p*ssed off townsfolk yelling things like, “You were the worst thing about Moontrap!” as Bruce finds out the demon is real and turns tail. Sir Campbell is in his element, tossing off sharp one-liners and hamming it up as a self-obsessed Hollywood movie star. I thought about writing ’em all down, but figured it’s way better to hear Bruce deliver the goods.

My Name Is Bruce

And speaking of goods, the hot single mom of the kid who kidnapped (so THAT’S where that term came from) Bruce is one well-rounded actress, if you get the inference. Which means there’s two more reasons to watch this movie right the heck now.

Medieval Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 22, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Army of Darkness

The tag line for the awesomely hilarious Army of Darkness (1993) says it best: “Trapped in time, surrounded by evil, low on gas.” That’s gosh-darned funnier than all heck.

Army of Darkness

Ash gets sucked into a swirly time portal after battling the evil dead in Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987). He and his 1973 Oldsmobile are dropped from the sky into a back in time land currently being plagued by, yep, more evil dead.

Army of Darkness

Having lost his hand by his own hand (heh) in Evil Dead 2 and having replaced it with a chain saw, Ash reluctantly joins forces with the local king to battle the dead after Ash himself accidentally invokes them. See, Ash’s only way home is with the Necronomicon, a demonic book whose cover is made of human flesh (instead of preferred edible cardboard).

Army of DarknessHe has to go into the fog-shrouded Land of the Dead to get it, utter an incantation (which he hilariously screws up), and then haul future buttock back to the castle to say his click your heels three times goodbyes.

Army of Darkness

The Deadites (great name) want their book back, Ash is stuck, and everyone hates his guts. This thing is loaded with awesome evil dead demons, a ton of Three Stooges pratfalls, and an endless stream of classic Ash retorts: “Hail to the King, baby!,” “Gimme some sugar, baby,” and the timelessly brilliant: “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up…”

Ash/Bruce Campbell is the Marlon Brando of all things evil and dead.

Evil Dead TV

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 3, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ash vs. The Evil Dead

Unless you live under a rock/bridge/alias, you no doubt heard of the upcoming (in late 2015) spin-off TV series Ash vs. The Evil Dead, starring Bruce Campbell himself. You’re likely drooling on the inside of your pants right now. Me, too.

Bruce Campbell, Lucy Lawless

Schedule as a 10 half-hour episode series on Starz Original™ (kind of a white trash version of HBO™), there’s some more big genre names on board, including Xena, Princess Warrior herself (um, Lucy Lawless.) She’s described as “a mysterious figure who is myopic in her quest to hunt down the source of the recent Evil outbreaks. The only problem: she believes that Ash (Bruce Campbell) is the cause of it all.”

I need an entire case of moist towelettes.

Ash vs. The Evil Dead

Here’s more juiciness from the press release: “Bruce Campbell is reprising his role as Ash, the stock boy, aging lothario and chainsaw-handed monster hunter who has spent the last 30 years avoiding responsibility, maturity and the terrors of the Evil Dead. When a Deadite plague threatens to destroy all of mankind, Ash is finally forced to face his demons – personal and literal. Destiny, it turns out, has no plans to release the unlikely hero from its ‘Evil’ grip.”

Better make that two cases of moist towelettes.

Harping On Horror

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Harpies

A washed-up NY cop is having a bad day. His wife wants a divorce. The police force won’t let him shoot people anymore. And his job as a security guard at a museum is about as interesting as the science behind why paint dries.

Harpies

Some well-prepared thugs break in to crack the new exhibit containing a mystical egg jewel that when hooked up to a gold amulet opens a portal to the time of the Harpies (972 AD, when chicks didn’t shave their legs or under their arms).

Harpies

W.U.C. (Washed Up Cop) intervenes but gets sucked back in time, where he regards his time travel as an every day occurrence. It’s there he encounters the days of yore and winged nag creatures that are so poorly special effected, they wouldn’t even be allowed in a video game – from 1980.

Harpies

To call Harpies (2007) a crappy movie is to be overly complimentary. Up closed the creatures look like crack whores, and Stephen Baldwin as the “hero” pitifully tries to echo Bruce Campbell’s character in Army of Darkness (1992), but falls so short as to be embarrassing to his mom and even his neighbors.

Space Termites

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Alien Apocalypse

After 40 years in hyper sleep during an exploratory space journey, Ivan Hood (played by the immortal Bruce Campbell) can’t wait to see the future.

He envisioned a utopian society and making lots of money pimpin’ out his skills as a chiropractor. But what he and his space mates of two chicks and another guy discover is that the Earth has been appropriated by seven-foot tall termites that have enslaved the human race to work in sawmills, harvesting lumber to ship back to the bug planet as take-out food.

Alien Apocalypse

Ivan escapes the insect overlords and encounters longhairs living in the woods outside of the reach of termite tyranny. These pacifists won’t help him overthrow the aliens because they like their lifestyle of hanging out in the forest and drinking potato liquor and listening to some crunchy grooves. Just as I suspected – future hippies.

Alien Apocalypse

Through their slacker conversations Ivan finds out the President lives in the Cascade Mountains and will one day lead the revolt against the buggers. So Ivan and a few hippies (including one really hot chick in a leather thong) go to find him. And find him they do, living with the rest of Congress and being nothing more than talking gas bags as they can’t seem to pass a bill banning illegal aliens.

Alien Apocalypse

But it’s all too flat as the entire plot of Alien Apocalypse (2005) runs out of space originality after the first ten minutes. If you’re not gonna spend time on head-eating violence, then we need to get back to the other important plot message: the chick in the leather thong.

P.S. Looks like District 9 (2009) borrowed more than a cup of sugar from Alien Apocalypse for their alien’s termite look…

Alien Apocalypse