Archive for breasts

Evil Mud, Hooded Thugs, Brain Gone Bugs

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Muck

Three upcoming horror movies either in production, out of production and/or being burned into obsolete DVDs as we speak.

Muck (2015) sounds as yummy as its name: “Shot in state-of-the-art 4K Ultra HD resolution, Muck is packed with old-school effects, shocks – and yes, breasts – that stick with you, creating terror with effects and stunts without the use of CGI.”

They had me at muck.

Here’s other muckified stuff to expect: “A group of friends stumble upon an empty Cape Cod vacation house alongside the foggy marsh and break in to take shelter. Whatever was in the marsh is still after them and soon after one of them goes for help, the rest of the group learns that the evil in the marsh is not the only thing that wants them dead.”

They had me at empty Cape Cod vacation house.

Sweet Home

Next up is Sweet Home (2015), a slasher horror movie of sorts: “Alicia has a surprise to celebrate her boyfriend Simon’s birthday: a romantic dinner for two in one of the almost abandoned buildings she inspects as part of her job. The evening starts out perfectly, but the couple soon makes the startling discovery that they are not the only “intruders” in the building that night, after Alicia witnesses a chilling act at the hands of three mysterious hooded men. On realizing that their presence in the building has not gone unnoticed, the three men begin the search for the couple, well aware that their dark secret cannot leave the building.”

So much for a romantic dinner and the highly anticipated thing that follows: laying on the couch and watching TV while that special someone does the dishes.

Coyote

Arriving December 16, 2014 is Coyote, a serial killer movie described as “wickedly brilliant.” If they had a cameo by me, perhaps. Nevertheless, “an aspiring writer with insomnia descends into a world of madness and serial killing violence as he is torn between what is real and what has crawled from the darkest recesses of his mind – making him a threat to everyone around him, and most of all himself.”

He’ll not be a threat to me. I can make him go away merely by hitting the OFF button. THAT’S the darkest recesses of MY mind at work. Sorta.

Heaving Horror Hostess

Posted in Classic Horror, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

Elvira’s aunt Morgana, a witch, passed away and left the creepy mansion to the iconically top heavy horror movie hostess. Good thing the house has a double-wide garage. Ahem.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

The mansion is in Falwell, Massachusetts, the most right-wing, religiously conservative small town in America, and home to witch burnings back before they had cable TV to entertain them.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

Elvira’s great-uncle Vincent wants Morgana’s old recipe book hidden shelf deep in the house that’s actually loaded with witchcraft spells. He does this because he wants to change into a demon. Why? Dunno. Elvira just wants to sell the house so she can fund her own Vegas show and twirl tassels around with her double-wide talents.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

Elvira’s wise-cracking and uninhibited fashion sense clash with all of the above. Slapstick gags, non-stop one-liners (“Grab a tool and start bangin’!”), and endless boob shots/jokes. I never tire of either as it turns out. That said, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) bears double-wide viewing.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark