If you read this blog on November 10, 2017 (if not, what’s your plausible excuse?), I tagged artist/Life of Agony bassist Alan Roberts’ The Beauty of Horror coloring books. Now, just a scant weeks later, comes news of The Beauty of Horror: Ultimate Nightmare Deluxe Coloring Set, arriving arrives in stores September 2018 from IDW Publishing. Time to break out the sidewalk chalk (or your preferred art medium).
The insanely cool set is sized at 12” x12”, same as a vinyl record album, only you supply the grooves. The set is said to include fan favorites from The Beauty of Horror Volume One, Volume Two: Ghouliana’s Creepatorium, Volume Three: Haunted Playgrounds, and showcases three, paper-spanking new Alan Robert exclusives. Think of it as a “greatest hits plus.”
The cost? Does it matter? All you need to know is that you need to own this. Crayons not included. And while we impatiently wait for September (I’m actually impatiently waiting for National Hot Dog Month in July), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi flicks that may or may not fill your world with colorful, pant-staining scares…
THE MEG (August 10, 2018)
“A deep-sea submersible — part of an international undersea observation program — has been attacked by a massive creature, previously thought to be extinct, and now lies disabled at the bottom of the deepest trench in the Pacific…with its crew trapped inside. With time running out, expert deep sea rescue diver Jonas Taylor is recruited to save the crew — and the ocean itself — from this unstoppable threat: a prehistoric 75-foot-long shark known as the Megalodon, bringing him face to face once more with the greatest and largest predator of all time.”
Meg, as you might know, is short for Megalodon, the largest shark ever to have strained dinosaurs through it’s mega mouth like krill through a blue whale’s surfer-hole. If you haven’t seen the trailers for this, be prepared to pollute the aquarium. This shark is supersized and makes the shark (“Bruce”) in Jaws (1975) look like a carnival goldfish. Another supersized bonus: this one is coming out in 3D, which is one better — and more expensive — than 2D. I care not — the already over-priced movie theatre can have a bigger bite out of my paycheck for this one. (Wonder if they’ll take a post-dated check?)
DEAD BY MIDNIGHT (2018)
“It’s Halloween at WKIZ when the malicious Mistress of Midnight arrives to host her annual horror movie marathon ‘Dead By Midnight’. When the WKIZ staff begins disappearing only to turn up in the increasingly darker films, it’s up to line producer Candice Spelling to stop the Mistress before her final and most diabolical film goes to air.”
Cool premise. Wonder is the Mistress of Midnight is single? If she’s as delicious as she is malicious, I should like to apply for the job as her evil smooch buddy. And hey, if she casts me in one of her dark films, I’d be flattered. Won’t do it for free, though; living or not, the rent’s gotta be paid
PONTYPOOL CHANGES (2018/2019)
“The sequel to Pontypool (2008), in which a virus is transferred from one person to another by way of words in the English language.”
Not even sure this is gonna be a take-to-market movie. For starters, really craptacular movie key art. Looks fan-made. Secondly, the first Pontypool, while intriguing the way a can of soup with the label missing is, had a dumb premise. So if a virus is passed via English language, learn French.
PARTY HARD, DIE YOUNG (2018/2019)
“Finally, graduation! No more high school! In order to celebrate Julia, her classmates and thousands of fellow graduates are on their way to an island resort in Croatia. It’s supposed to be the party of their lives. The harmless fun, however, soon turns dead serious. When a friend is killed in a tragic accident, the party people’s euphoria is crushed. Moreover, Julia’s best friend Jessica has been missing and she is the only one who believes in a connection between the two incidents. Unfortunately soon after, her suspicion is confirmed when Jessica’s lifeless body is washed up on the shore. Now the trip is about sheer survival, as Julia realizes that she’s probably the next victim. Could it all be connected to a long-buried incident from the clique’s past?”
Yes. Yes, it is all connected to a cliched long-buried incident from the clique’s past. Move along — nothing to see here.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 