When Godzilla Became Frankenstein

Super duper annoying when (and I use the term loosely) people mistakenly – to this franken day – think Frankenstein is the monster instead of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, the guy who puzzled together the monster from scrap corpse parts. And while the brute doesn’t have a proper title other than “the monster,” you get the misnomer; the name “Frankenstein” is pretty dang classic, right up there with iconic nom de plumes names like “Godzilla,” “Dracula” and “Lord Voldemort.”

No surprise the Germans – Frankenstein’s kin — regularly slapped the popular “monster” name on imported horror advertising art to help sell movie tickets, even though Frank wasn’t so much as in the credits. (Did Frankenstein or his heirs get paid for this unlicensed usage? Hölle nein!)

An example of this is Ebirah, Horror From the Deep, aka, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (1966). Initial German ad art had the movie titled, Frankenstein und die Ungeheuer dem Meer (or, Frankenstein and the Beast from the Sea). And while the advertising depicts Godzilla (what – no promo headshot?), they didn’t want to gamble the movie’s box office on a name that’s only been around for a few relative years, whereas Frankenstein was globally established and universally recognized since 1931. In that context, it makes sense.

Frankenstein’s good name has been co-opted/dragged through the mud over the years for this very same reason. But think about it – would you rather take your queasy vehicle to Bob’s Car Care or Frankenstein’s Complete Auto Restoration? I rest my case.

Gasp in awe at the misbranded examples above, including King Kong: Frankenstein’s Son (aka, King Kong Escapes/1962) that’ll leave you staunen (“stunned” for all you Bob’s Car Care types).

P.S. Only Spain’s Santo Contra La Hija De Frankestein (aka, Santo Against Daughter Frankenstein/1972) and Santo y Blue Demon Contra el Dr. Frankestein (aka, Santo and Blue Demon Against Dr. Frankenstein/1974) got it at least medically correct even though they couldn’t spell Frank’s name right on the advertising.

Mexican Frankenstein

Somebody is kidnapping pairs of young hot women and attempting to surgically swap their brains. Seems kinda redundant. Nevertheless, that variety of behavior is illegal.

Only one man could pull off such a medical maneuver: Dr. Frankenstein. Okay, not the real Dr. Frankenstein, but his grandson, Irwin. (You didn’t know Frankenstein had progeny? I’m visibly shocked.) Irwin is 113 years old, but due to his innovative experiments with blood beta blockers, he’s managed to turn back the clock and looks about 40-ish and has suspect hygiene.

He offers the same de-oldening serum to several other brain surgeons in return for their help in transplanting the brain of El Santo – Mexico’s greatest pro wrestler/superhero – into the body of Golem, a 7-foot tall black guy with 3% body fat and muscles that would give Popeye bicep envy.

In order to lure Santo into his web of medical deceit, Frankenstein has to kidnap Santo’s latest trim, the lovely Alicia. Time to spring into action with his trusted ally, the Blue Demon. These two guys kick so much ass, you’ll actually feel bruised from watching this punching jamboree. And the clothes they wear — Blue Demon sports a double-wide necktie so colorful, rainbows by comparison look like dog crap smeared in an arc across the sky. And Santo’s beige blazer and turtleneck ensemble never gets ruffled when taking on six bad guys at once. Splendid!

In a genius move, Irwin Frankenstein turns Golem into Mortis, an unspeaking wrestling giant with a lucha mask and puts him in the ring with Santo. The strategy being that if Santo gets killed during the match, it’s legal. But the Blue Demon has Santo’s back and corners Frankenstein’s crony into revealing the evil doctor’s plans. (He does this by applying a devastating Indian rug burn — flippin’ ouch!)

Once again the ring announcer calls the action, expertly pointing out that Mortis just hit Santo in the tracheae and that it’s a forbidden move. Good call as the referee, obscured by forearm smashes, was not witness to the harshness.

We know how this all ends. Matters not. Santo y Blue Demon contra el Doctor Frankenstein (1974) is a great action-packed pro wrestling/superhero/evil scientist story with girls in mini skirts, brain-transplanted zombies and Blue Demon’s electrifying sense of fashion.

Wrestling With Dracula And Wolf Man

In this 1972 action-packed supernatural bout, undefeated pro wrestler/crime fighter/super hero Santo and his bestest buddy Blue Demon go after the recently resurrected Dracula and his servant, Rufus Rex (aka, the Wolfman).

The ill-intent criminals’ plan is to kidnap some chicks and sacrifice them to Satan, their employer. Before that can be done they have to assemble an army of vampires and wolf men. They accomplish this by biting people.

The inevitable “no falls/no disqualification” match in the Chamber of Caves is the very definition of action. As if fighting off an army of wolf men wasn’t exciting enough, all the werewolves are wearing sweaters and button-up shirts. Their chests and hands aren’t hairy, though. Spanish werewolves don’t have to obey the rules, man.

Santo and Blue Demon pull out their best moves to vanquish the sinvergüenzas sucios (look it up). As with all the great Santo movies, it begins and ends with real wrestling matches (two out of three falls). The third one – against El Angel and that godd*mn Renato The Hippie – is almost as good as the movie itself, with priceless commentary from the announcer: “Blue Demon is attentive!” “The multitude’s idols win again!” and my fav, “Get away, hippie!”

Santo & Blue Demon vs. Dracula & The Wolfman (1973) is sub-titled. But for real fun, turn ’em off and watch it in Spanish. I translated one killer wrestling move as, “Aiiyeee – he just pulled my neck! Referee – make him stop!”

Interpreting Spanish is so easy, I’m surprised more people don’t do it.