Archive for blender

Reverse Torture Porn

Posted in Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Call Back

An egotistical horror film director is casting for his new movie and invites Meadow (if that’s her real name) over to his house for further “screen testing.” Sounds on the up and up to me, too.

Call Back

Levi the “director” is so greasy you wanna keep a moist towelette on standby while watching him try and seduce this seemingly innocent “actress.” But a conk on the head with a lead pipe kills the mood. He regains consciousness  to find himself constrained in the very same vise used in his last torture porn movie.

Call Back

Meadow invites her Russian girlfriend over, another actress who failed to pass Levi’s “audition.” Sliced arm, stapled wounds, bacon frying pan bonk on the head, tic-tac-toe games played on his torso with knives, a cucumber jammed down his throat, (though a carrot would’ve been easier to fit in there).

Call Back

Then they discover Levi’s stash of “audition” tapes, with him sexually abusing dozens of girls. Uh, oh. Meadow severs his finger, puts it in a blender and makes a hand slushee. (I thought she was gonna make him drink it, but she just poured it on his shirt. Up to that point is was a really nice shirt.)

Call Back

More torture, more begging, a little vomit, a lot of blood. Eighty of Call Back’s (2009) 90-minutes is nothing but Levi getting the sharp end of the stick. Meadow may not make it as an actress, but she definitely has a career in blender sales.

Go Ask Alyce

Posted in Misc. Horror, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Alyce Kills

Alyce is young, hot, drunk and uses the F-word as if it were an adjective, as does her equally young, hot, drunk and gutter-mouthed BFF girlfriend. Sexually liberated with boyfriends that cheat on them, they proceed to get drunk, flirt with expanding the parameters of their friendship (ahem), and get inebrated even more on the roof of their downtown apartment building. All is fun and F-words until… OOPS! The girlfriend took the express way down.

Alyce Kills

Alyce, overwhelmed with guilt (it was an accident – or so she says), lies to the police about what happened. It’s one thing to give your soulmate flying lessons, but another issue entirely to be untruthful to the Law. Amazingly, the BFF survived the drop in altitude and is in the hospital with a Frankenstein’d face. Can’t have her recovering and spilling the truth beans. So she has to try, try again because at first she didn’t succeed. And thus starts Alyce’s descent into guilt-driven drug abuse, sex abuse and all the ancillary depravity that goes with it.

Alyce Kills

Alyce Kills (2011) is grim and mesmerizing in the same way when you see a car sliding on ice towards the edge of a bridge. But it isn’t until the last astonishing 20 minutes where this thing goes into OMG territory. Armed with a baseball bat, a chef’s grade knife, a meat cleaver, a hacksaw, a blender, a microwave and a handy pistol, Alyce balances the crazy scale by resolving issues with her girlfriend’s brother and that wasted drug dealer who made her submit an oral exam on his front pocket area, and anyone standing in her way. (I’m looking in your direction drug dealer’s friends.)

Alyce Kills

And just when you think it couldn’t get anymore entertaining, it’s the last word that comes out of her mouth that puts a nice exclamation point on her newfound personality. I’ve said that same word a one hundred million times, but not nearly with the same effect. Alyce kills, indeed.