Archive for Black Sabbath

The Devil’s Wristwatch, Porno Demons, Freezer Flesh

Posted in Aliens, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Two things immediately stand out in regards to the stunning RM 66 Flying Tourbillon watch. One is its spectacular horror rock horn skeletal mechanism design that would look perfect on Black Sabbath’s wrist or an Alien movie. Secondly, the limited-to-50 pieces, is its $1.1 million dollar price tag. If you can afford it, no more “Hey, Alexa — what time is it?”

From the website of Richard Mille, maker of the worlds most extravagant watches: “Hand gestures, perhaps the most expressive form of body language, are used for sign language, certainly, but also to convey meaning beyond words, from the social conventions of greeting – the most common of which is the handshake – to more subtle cues. But the so-called devil’s horn, where the index and pinky fingers are raised as the thumb holds down the ring and middle fingers, has a particularly colorful identity. Heir to centuries of diverse traditions, beliefs and superstitions, the horn has become a cultural, social and even political phenomenon. Today, it symbolizes kinship and inclusion, with a pinch of rebellion and darkness, and a guitar riff screeching in the background.”

“The watch is made of Grade 5 titanium, a bio-compatible, highly corrosion-resistant and remarkably rigid alloy, which enables the gear train to function effortlessly. The alloy is 90% titanium, 6% aluminum and 4% vanadium. (What, no Vibranium?) The RM66 Flying Tourbillon comes fit on a comfortable black rubber strap.” Rubber? Seriously? For the million dollar plus watch, the strap should be made out of leather milled from the regalia of Judas Priest themselves.

While we go back to looking at our phones to see what time it is to rock (answer: always), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be worthy of a rock horn salute…

ARTHUR MALEDICTION / February 3, 2023 (VOD)

“Since childhood, Alex has been a big fan of the fantasy film saga Arthur and the Minimoys. So his best friends surprise him with a special present for his 18th birthday — a trip to the abandoned country house where the saga was set. What begins as a weekend adventure, quickly turns into a deadly nightmare.”

Most guys wish for naked girls on their 18th birthday. But hey, if you get turned on by an abandoned country house, it’s your birthday, so go get your kink on.

DEBBIE DOES DEMONS / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“300 year old sorceress plans to unleash hell on Earth. When four friends summon Carmilla with a Ouija™ board, it’s up to Debbie to send this witch bitch back where she belongs.”

The title is a spoof on the infamous 1978 pornography movie, Debbie Does Dallas, in which high school cheerleaders use their nakedly charms to raise money to go to Texas to try out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. They raised the money — and more — but I don’t think they ever got around to finishing their scholarly education.

GRANDMA / Pending release 2023 (VOD)

“A young woman looking for a new beginning inherits a large sum of money and uses it to buy an old bed and breakfast way out in the country, with hopes to renovate and reopen. Unbeknown to the young woman, 20 years ago it was Grandma’s Bed ‘n Breakfast, a popular place for the locals to come and eat. The food was always so delicious, but there were never any tourists around for some reason. After several out of towners came looking for their missing family members, everything pointed back to Grandma. The police found the missing tourists, along with many others, partially eaten in the freezer, but Grandma was never found, now believed to be dead after all these years.”

I liked this better when it was called Motel Hell (1980).

PEGGY / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“After years of torment, Peggy finally gets revenge on all those who wronged her in the past.”

Where have I heard of this plot before? I know…EVERYWHERE.

Hellish Rock Stars, Gun Ghosts, Sequel Sharks

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Guitar Teacher From Hell

Clicked across this one while surfing for YET ANOTHER  black t-shirt to buy. Guitarist Acey Slade has created his own comic book series, Guitar Teacher From Hell ($4.99 for the printed comic/$1.99 for a digital download, which can be exchanged for money by clicking HERE). It’s so cool, I have to have it because I don’t know why.

From the press release: “Learning to play guitar is tough for everyone, but for 15-year-old Cory Conners it’s going to be Hell. Follow the torment as Cory learns how to play through legendary rock star guests hosted by Acey Slade who has teamed up with independent cartoonist Steven Reardon Jr. to create Guitar Teacher From Hell, a comic book series that plays on Faustian mythology portrayed in a dark comedy fantasy about the obsession young people have towards learning how to play the guitar.”

Acey Slade

Should probably get this now as I’ve been playing guitar for a number of years, though my neighbors think I only know how to play Iron Maiden, KISS and Black Sabbath. (Not all their songs, just one from each.)

Acey’s resume is a chart-topper: “Slade’s resume includes Rock & Roll Hall of Fame-inducted Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. In addition he has worked  with Misfits, Murderdolls and Dope. As a writer and producer, he has worked along side Earl Cohen (Lady Gaga/Jessica Simpson), Tom Camuso (Lenny Kravitz/DJ Logic/Ect). A New York-based musician with homes in Los Angeles and Taipei, Acey Slade has also been DJing and producing rock, hard rock, punk and pop for bands around the globe. He has engaged audiences with guitar clinics worldwide trekking from Moscow to Dallas. Other associated acts include: Trashlight Vision, Billy Liar, Amen, Rachel Lorin and Vampire Love Dolls.”

AND he has tattoos. I do, too, but mine come off in the shower. While I learn how to keep that from happening, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not permanently imprint themselves on your mind…

Blood Harvest

BLOOD HARVEST (November 21, 2017)
“A rural village is terrorized by an evil force that drains the blood from its victims. A discredited police detective, who believes the killings are the work of vampires, must team up with his former partner to uncover the truth.”

Vampires or discount doctors. Either or, the plot seems stock and played. What if the vampires were doctors? I would love to call my health insurance and go, “Yeah, I need to schedule a DAYTIME appointment with Dr. Vampire…” In addition to questionable medial practices/advice, it’d be cool if he/she could sell t-shirts in the waiting room with the kicker line: “Lose Blood Now — Ask Me How.”

Dawning of the Dead

DAWNING OF THE DEAD (December 5, 2017/VOD)
“While a virus that causes the dead to reanimate brings the world to its knees, the scientist responsible entrusts his cataclysmic findings to Katya Nevin, a troubled ex-war correspondent turned anchor-woman at W.W News. While she and the rest of her crew witness the collapse of society via video feeds from around the globe, a deadly special agent climbs the building floor by floor, his only goal to ensure her silence. Armed only with information and an indomitable will to live, Katya must overcome her crippling anxiety and learn to lead in order to make it out of the studio and into a terrifying new world where only the dead survive.”

There isn’t one thing original about this movie, which has been my major point of contention with the unending regurgitation of zombie movies. Wanna do something cool with zombies for a change? Start with set-in-Africa The Dead (2010) and/or South Korea’s Train To Busan (2016) and we’ll discuss.

Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built

WINCHESTER: THE HOUSE THAT GHOSTS BUILT (February 2, 2018)
“Inspired by true events. On an isolated stretch of land 50 miles outside of San Francisco sits the most haunted house in the world. Built by Sarah Winchester, heiress to the Winchester fortune, it is a house that knows no end. Constructed in an incessant twenty-four hour a day, seven day a week mania for decades, it stands seven stories tall and contains hundreds of rooms. To the outsider it looks like a monstrous monument to a disturbed woman’s madness. But Sarah is not building for herself, for her niece or for the brilliant Dr. Eric Price whom she has summoned to the house. She is building a prison, an asylum for hundreds of vengeful ghosts, and the most terrifying among them have a score to settle with the Winchesters.”

Great kicker line: “Terror is Building.” This house and its history actually exists. I wrote about it exactly one year to the day. Didn’t plan it that way, but I should be somehow rewarded, either with bit coins and/or candy. Can’t wait for this movie, even though its been done — poorly — a while back (i.e., Haunting of Winchester House/2009). Let’s hope they don’t suck the life out of this  ghost story. (Okay, that was funny.)

Deep Blue Sea 2

DEEP BLUE SEA 2 (2017/2018)
Dr. Klaus Van Etten experiments on bull sharks, much to the chagrin of Misty and her team of marine experts. The sharks get out and all hell breaks loose.”

That’s pretty much the same plot as Deep Blue Sea (1999), except Dr. Susan McAlester experimented on great white sharks that became mega aggressive/hungry and ate humans like they were peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches.

Magic Monkeys, Groovy Ghosts and Tubas

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Journey To The West: Demons Strike Back

These are dark days, what with Negan and his bat playing baseball with people’s heads, Black Sabbath playing their final show and Supergirl not returning any of my Bat-signals. (I’m starting to think she’s a bit stuck up.) So yeah, nothing but doom and gloom from dusk ‘til dawn.

Here are some upcoming dark movies to compliment your dark days…

JOURNEY TO THE WEST: THE DEMONS STRIKE BACK
(available now)

“A sequel to the story of Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons (2013). After killing Miss Duan in the last story, Monkey King is now tamed by Tang Sanzang and has become one of his disciples. Tang continues his journey to the West with Monkey King, Sandy and Pigsy. They encounter and flight with many demons during their treacherous journey. These demon battles enable them to grow and learn how to become better people.”

Good grief — someone managed to film all the wacky crap in my head leading up to — and including — a hangover. I don’t know about you, but “taming” the Monkey King is just asking for trouble. You ever see monkeys at the zoo and what they use for flinging purposes? Now imagine if you’re a monkey AND a king. I just got a chill shiver.

Sisters of the Plague

SISTERS OF THE PLAGUE (February 14, 2017)
“Jo enjoys leading haunted house tours around New Orleans. But when her father moves into the house she shares with her girlfriend, terrifying supernatural things start really happening. Seeking a medium’s help, Jo finds she is facing something way beyond her control.”

I remember a time when mediums were rare (heh). Now they’re all over the place. Makes sense that supernatural things are goin’ down in New Orleans; That’s where supernatural was invented, man. They kinda give away the groceries with the press release. But hey, like we couldn’t figure it our for our own supernatural selves?

Ghost of New Orleans

GHOST OF NEW ORLEANS (February 17, 2017)
“A disgraced detective has a supernatural encounter which leads him to investigate the murder of a beautiful cellist that unlocks the truth behind her mysterious death.”

She didn’t really murder die. She switched to tuba and is now leading her own marching band up and down Bourbon Street. Say what you will about tubas, but those things sound like the horns of humanity when properly honked upon.

It Comes At Night

IT COMES AT NIGHT (2017)
“A father will stop at nothing to protect his wife and son from a malevolent, mysterious presence terrorizing them right outside their doorstep.”

Pffft — sounds like it’s a landlord.

Kong: Skull Island

KONG: SKULL ISLAND (March 10, 2017)
Yeah, I’ve e-blurted this one a time or two. But had to wave my freak flag one more time over the new Japanese Kong key art poster. This thing is suitable for framing. (Just like me in a court of law —heh.) The art depicts a variety snack pack of other giant creatures, whose roles no doubt go into the red shirt category. (If you’re a hardcore horror/sci-fi fan, you’ll get the reference.)

In the meantime, I’ll continue to stare longingly at this poster and delete down the days on my iCalendar™ until the movie allows me to watch it for more money than it would take to fill up the tank to get to the theater.

The Wrongs of Dracula’s Rites

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 20, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Satanic Rites of Dracula

In The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973) D’s plan is to introduce a new strain of the Bubonic plague to wipe humans off the face of the Earth. I don’t think Dracula was thinking ahead on this one. I mean, aren’t humans his grocery stores?

The Satanic Rites of Dracula

It’s the Eve of the Sabbath – and not the day before Black Sabbath releases a new album. Nope, this is the Sabbath of the Undead, kinda like spring break for those sorta not living. This does not meet eternal foe Van Helsing’s eco concerns, so he confronts Dracula at the very same spot they locked crosses two years earlier in Dracula A.D. 1972. Van Helsing comes prepared with a silver bullet, but AS ALWAYS can’t get the shot off in time before Dracula enunciates and throws a hissing fit.

The Satanic Rites of Dracula

The place catches on fire, so the fight spills over into the woods filled with Hawthorn bushes – he only other thing besides silver, garlic, pure running water, holy crosses, biblical scripture, altar boys and daylight that can defeat Dracula and make him soil his cape. Getting a sort of “crown of thorns,” Dracula gets tangled up, giving Van Helsing enough time to impale the evil outdoorsman with a fence post. As with every movie starring Dracula, he disintegrates. (Why can’t he explode just once?)

The Satanic Rites of Dracula

In all, Dracula shows up for a sec in the beginning of the movie and a few minutes at the end. Maybe he had other necks to do in the meantime. Bogged down in long stretches of back-story dialogue, there’s no room left for toothy action. Republican meddling once again. But when you rent a movie with the words “satanic” and “ritual” and “Dracula” in the title, you expect serious evil flavor to go down. Alas, it does not meet your eco concerns.